My h2b dad died 2 years ago and today he seemed to want to talk to anyone but me! The dreaded MIL2B called him this morning and was like "how u feeling today cos ive been cryin all morning" (even tho they divorced 15 years ago) Hes called all his mates back home, talked to my dad everyone but me. He just wont speak to me!
He is my "goto" guy..... wenever i have a prob i speak to him
I just wish i was his person.... but i think im just going to have to accept that hed rather speak to everyone but me!!!
:(
(sorry i know that was all me me me - i kno hes having a hard time today but i just dunno what to do)
Happily Married! :) xxx
CommentAuthorToops
I'm afraid nicola there is not much you can do, but just be there for him! I know when my father passed away I found it easier to talk with friends/stranger than my other half (at that time) - don't take it to heart, he will be relying on you to be the strong one and ensure things as normal.
Thinking of you x
CommentAuthorb2bnicola
Thanks hun, reading that post back i didnt mean to sound selfish in any way I just hate it wen he closes off from me!
I suggested to my dad that we raise a glass to his dad in rememberance of him and me dad pulls him aside n does it just him n my dad..... so i was left outa that! fgs! I wanna show him that im here and that i care kinda thing x
Happily Married! :) xxx
CommentAuthorToops
Oh no, you are allow to be a little selfish, after all you are going to be spending the rest of your life with this man and after all if he can't talk with you then...
It seems strange that people (your father, etc) don't seem to want to include you but maybe they feel more at ease when it is just a one on one situation, perhaps just ask your dad why he didn't include you, I'm sure there will be a reasonable answer. x
CommentAuthoriluvcakes
Aww hun, please don't take it to heart, my H2b does that too. He's not purposly ignoring you or shutting you out, it's just that sometimes they find it easier to talk to someone else rather than the person they are closest to. Be strong and let him know you are always there for him, he will talk when he's ready xxx
Became Mrs Robinson 4th October 2012 xxx
Can't wait to do it all over again on the 4th October 2017!!
He said it was cos he can relate (his dad died passed 2 years away) But still he stole my idea of trying to get close to h2b !!!
I just hate it wen he tells me hes ok and then randomly ill hear him on the phone to his v distant cousin saying how sad he is n that x
Happily Married! :) xxx
CommentAuthorToops
Don't take it to heart, your dad was only doing what he though was for the best, sometimes it is difficult to involve someone when they haven't actually experienced a death before as you don't want them to feel uneasy.
Be patient and understanding. :-)))
CommentAuthorb2bnicola
Thanks hun :) since hes spent the last 2 hours in a different room than me im going to pop in n say hi x
Happily Married! :) xxx
CommentAuthorToops
Good idea!!! Let us know how you get on :-))
CommentAuthorMrs Rebecca Hossfeld
It's the old one of he's a man & in front of his lady he's gotta be strong & tough.
It's not that he does not want to go to you hun, but he's trying to appear to be the strong one the typical male role in a relationship, just be there for him & he may just surprise you.
Big hugs your way hun x
CommentAuthor~*~ Becca ~*~
i agree its prob male ago thing and doesnt want his "big strong protective" persona breaking down!!! all u can really say is that ur there for him any time to speak to etc and maybe he'll see that he can connfide..but i think its just generally a hard thing for a man to do..i find it hard to open up about how im feeling about my dad who died 3.5 years ago to h2b but when i do i no i did right thing
chin up hun xx
17.09.2010 ---I am officially Mrs Rebecca Mollins
Twilight - its' like my own personal brand of Heroin...
Edward Cullen - The Hottest Vampire since 1901 !!
I have OTD - Obsessive Twilight Disorder :D
CommentAuthorb2bnicola
Well we ended up going home and just cuddling up on the sofa, i didnt say too much cos it was clear that he didnt want to talk to me about it!
It just hurt that he would open up to her of all people when i just cant stand her
She ended up msging me later on that night sayin "i dunno if u kno but hes really upset today" so it was like her trying to make me feel bad that hes talking to her and not me.
I sent her a reply back saying "yeh i do but dont worry im here with him"
COW lol
he seems much better today :) think it just hits him on days like fathers day etc x
Happily Married! :) xxx
CommentAuthorheidianne
He might not want to bring you down. He may find it easier to talk to a man about it. My Aunt had the same problem with my Uncle when his dad died and then his brother died. It was almost like it was safer not to talk to the closest person to him and hurt her. In time he'll talk to you about it but for now let him go through it.
Hope you feel better sweetie x x x
Tick Tock "why is a raven like a writing desk???"
CommentAuthor~*~ Becca ~*~
it hits me hard on bdays, anniversary of the death, fathers day..and i get married in sep so just a month after the 4 year anniversary and he's not goin to be walking me down..im goin to crumble!! :(
he'll prob speak to u when he's ready hun xxx
17.09.2010 ---I am officially Mrs Rebecca Mollins
Twilight - its' like my own personal brand of Heroin...
Edward Cullen - The Hottest Vampire since 1901 !!
I have OTD - Obsessive Twilight Disorder :D
CommentAuthorRelfy
aww Nic, big higs hun... i can understand why it hurts you, you expect him to come to you, in the smae why he'd expect you to come to him.. not sure what to say on this one apart form be strong sweetie. x x
CommentAuthorScarlettxLane
Aww hun i feel for you and your partner.. Maybe its his way of dealing with things and not showing you that he is upset, the way men see it is they are meant to be strong for you not the other way round leave him be today make sure he knows that you are there if he needs you and stay strong xxxx
CommentAuthorb2bnicola
Thanks girls - i didnt wana sound selfish there at all!
Just i hate not knowing whats going on in his head!
x
Happily Married! :) xxx
CommentAuthorMrsSandiBillany
You don't sound selfish atall hun. Its just the way it goes, it is often easier to talk to someone other than the one closer to you. My Mum NEVER talks to my dad about loosing my Nan 2 years ago and how much she misses her; she says its a combination of my dad never liking my Nan and the fact that she would do anything to make him happy, i suppose she just dosn't want to upset him with the way she is feeling.
Similarly, my H2B hasn't ever talked to me about his Grandad who died earlier this year; he will talk to anyone but me so i do know how your feeling (different situation i know) just try and think of it as him trying not to drag you into it, most men will do anything to keep their OH's happy like Scarlett said they are meant to be strong and the 'procector' he might just not want to upset you (silly i know but its a man thing). Just make sure that he knows that you are there for him no matter what and when he is ready to talk to you i'm sure he will.
CommentAuthorb2bnicola
Thanks :) Im so relieved to know its not just my h2b not talking to me that this is probs the norm! xx
