Its about my best friend from School - basically we were best friends for like 5/6 years and inseperable She started seeing a mutual friend (by mutual i mean my ex) and after about 6 months our friendship kinda started falling apart and I saw less and less of her.
I work in a place where its basically women who are AT LEAST 20 years older than me so making new friends is very hard for me!
So when we started seeing less and less of each other i started to loose touch with my other friends..... (basically i was friends with a group of people through her and cos i saw less and less of her i saw less of them)
Anyways last year it got to a point where I hardly saw any of them.... they always "forgot" to let me know when they were headin out or they wud tell me last minute so i cud go anyways.
So i ended up leaving to be a rep abroad - this was where i met my h2b
Now i was away all summer and i hardly heard a thing from her!!! Only when i txt her did she reply to me.
Since i got bak ive seen this group of friends once (sept last year) and her probs about a handful of times.
My h2b asked her advice on rings be4 he proposed and she ended up tellin me he was going to propose - ruining it for me. My h2b knows this know and he hates her for it.
She assumed that she was my bridesmaid and i havent been able to tell her otherwise.
TBH i dont really think of her as my best mate anymore cos we dont make the effort with each other and she still goes out with these group of friends but doesnt invite me anymore.
She hardly knows my h2b which hurts me a lot.
Basically
I know i shudnt have her as my BM but i dont know how to tell her!
She assumed as well that her partner wud be coming to my day time too (my ex) and he wudnt be.....
ARGH i just dont know what to do!
I hate how know she only txts me wen shes bored at work. I neva hear from her at night or on weekends or anything!
lol
HELP!!!!!!!!!
Happily Married! :) xxx
CommentAuthorKizzy81
Who DO you want as bridesmaids? If it's family etc, use that as an excuse then you don't have to upset her if you don't want to...
Failing that, it sounds as though this girl NEEDS telling! So go all out - sounds like you can afford to lose her as a friend, but it might just turn things around...
GOOD LUCK!
CommentAuthorb2bnicola
Ive got 5 other bridesmaids
His 2 best friends The girl i lived with when i was a rep abroad - she helped me n h2b get together My mate Amy who iv known since primary school My brothers girlfriend
I can afford to loose her as a mate cos we arent really close anymore and tbh shes a b***ch to me anyways but im not a nasty person and i cant generally be confrontational with someone, i always back down.
I just dunno how to approach it
xx
Happily Married! :) xxx
CommentAuthorb2bnicola
hmmmmmmmmm do u think im horrible if i say to her i dont think we're very close anymore x
Happily Married! :) xxx
CommentAuthorceli
No! Its your wedding sweetie, just explain that you don't think it would be right for her to be a Bridesmaid because you don't think you know her well enough anymore. I've had a similar problem with a friend from school who i didn't want as a bridesmaid so i asked her to do a reading during the service so she still feels involved. Hope that helps x
to be honest i think the fact that you have someone you have known since primary school shows that she is the one who will know you best , tell this other girl that as she hasnt been there for you you can no longer have her as a BM , dont worry about offending her, it donest sound like she has been that bothered about you ....telling you about the proposel shocking .....
You want me to tell her hun? I would tell her without batting an eyelid to go do one! I know your not that sort of person hun but I think your gonna have to build up the courage to tell her straight! I don't even think I would be inviting her to the wedding to be honest!
Do not disturb... Already disturbed enough!
CommentAuthorb2bnicola
lmao cheers suzi!
Def going to have to build up the courage
I just dont know how to approach it - like outa thing air kinda thing
xx
Happily Married! :) xxx
CommentAuthorb2bnicola
thin not thing x
Happily Married! :) xxx
CommentAuthormrsjones
If that was me in your position i dont think i would be even inviting her either, totally agree with Suzi! She needs to know how much she has let you down over the years! You can never just assume you will be someone's BM, you wait to be asked! How rude of her, with friends like that eho needs enemies, i would change your number and never speak to her again, perhaps then she will get the message that you no longer want to be her friend. That way you can avoid the confrontration.
CommentAuthorb2bnicola
I like the idea of just ignoring her lol x
Happily Married! :) xxx
CommentAuthorb2bnicola
I just duno how to say to her
"i really dont think we're close anymore, we dont make the effort to meet up, we only txt during work hours, you dont invite me out when everyone goes out... i just dont think we're as good of mates as what we seem to think we are"
Happily Married! :) xxx
CommentAuthorSuzi
Send this to her in a text...
"Hi hope your OK, me and .... have been chatting and we have decided we are only having our closest friends as bridesmaids. I think we both know that we are not close any more. You don't invite me out any more and we never meet up plus I hardly ever hear from you. Sorry if you thought you would be a bridesmaid but we just don't seem to have the friendship that we use to have. Take care, see you around"
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CommentAuthorMrsd2b
That sounds good suzi! x
CommentAuthorb2bnicola
Suzi that is faaaaaab! Now let me get the courage to send it! x
Happily Married! :) xxx
CommentAuthorSuzi
Give me her number, I will send it and explain that this is your new number lmao, then when she rings I will ignore it lol.. x
ive sent her a msg saying that ive been thinking lately how much we're grown apart n that it hurts me every time i dont get invited somewhere
n we're talking now about how it was before i went away and ive managed to tell her she was one of the reasons why i left!
duno where its going to go......
Happily Married! :) xxx
CommentAuthorCupCake
Pmsl .... Suzi you make me laugh! :D b2bnicola .... the thought of doing this is probably going to be worse than the outcome when you've done it hun to be honest, she can't really argue with the truth, and will be scared you have stood up to her and told her how it is! she can't Make you do anything can she? silly moo needs telling! xx
Became Mrs Lyons 30th July 2011 x
CommentAuthorCupCake
keep us informed hun .. be STRONG!!! don't let her talk you into anything you don't want x
Became Mrs Lyons 30th July 2011 x
CommentAuthorSuzi
edited
YAY!!! Glad you have started the ball rolling hun and who knows it might be exactly what was needed to get your relationship back on track... H2B wont be too happy though will he lol...
Cupcake, Is that cos I look like a clown lmao :oP
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CommentAuthorCupCake
lol Suzi ... NO! you don't look like I clown I hate clowns anyway *shivers*
OMG she actually just said "i was thnking about ur wedding and being ur bm - i dunno if thats still wot u want - i kno how exp everything is"
God its just down to me saying "well no not really"
Happily Married! :) xxx
CommentAuthorSuzi
Clowns are really scary aren't they!!! ewww they make my blood run cold...!!!
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CommentAuthorMagsy
be strong b2bnicola! well done so far x
CommentAuthorb2bnicola
lol i love the randomness of this conversation!
its done!
Thank god!
Weve both just said that its sad loosing a friend but we both know we're not how we used to be! We're still going to talk etc but now theres no pressure of me making sure shes a bm or her invitin me out!
Thanks so much girlies :) xxx
Happily Married! :) xxx
CommentAuthorSuzi
Woohoooo well done hun! I know it must of been hard to make that first move and sad to lose what was once a good friend. But no more worrying about that issue any more! Now on to the next worry!!! lol... There is always something to worry about right? Currently mine is flowers...but it will sort it self one way or another!
And I apologise for the randomness of your thread, I think we were passing the time away whilst waiting for you to get back to us lmao! x x x
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CommentAuthorb2bnicola
its like we've broke up! how strange! x
Happily Married! :) xxx
CommentAuthorb2bnicola
hahaa no no i liked readin it :)
What is ur issue with flowers? we shall talk about that now lol xxx
Happily Married! :) xxx
CommentAuthorSuzi
I know what you mean, I had a similar situation a few years back.. trust me you will get over this quicker than you do a normal break up lol...BIG HUGS x x
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CommentAuthorb2bnicola
:) thanks everyone! xx
Happily Married! :) xxx
CommentAuthorSuzi
Ahh the lady that was doing them was on ebay and she was sooo popular that she was getting behind in her orders and therefore receiving bad feedback etc so she has decided to stop doing big orders! I emailed Mrs B for a quote and she was £100 more than what I had been quoted so im trying to talk the eBay lady round. Ive told her I had 4 months before I get married so she doesn't have to rush my order and being silk she can take her time in doing them! Fingers crossed she agree's or I will be getting Mrs B to do them for me!
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CommentAuthorSuzi
OMG Nic, how weird is that!!! As I finished typing that to you ^^^ the lady from eBay emailed me back saying she would do it, I emailed her last week so of all the times she could email me back, she decides to do it as we were speaking about her lol.. Told you it would work out eh ;o) x x x x
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CommentAuthorb2bnicola
Ahhh bless ya! Where r u from? My florist is amazing and very cheap :) xx
Happily Married! :) xxx
CommentAuthorSuzi
Think we posted at the same time Nic... check out my post above your's lol x x x
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CommentAuthorCeCe
Nicola errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr right ok...hun, without wanting to sound harsh hun BUT toughen the hell up!
There is nothing to lose ..just tell her..once and for all. She does NOT deserve to be your BM, simple as...
You know she aint a proper pal..get rid of the rubbish in your life babe, concentrate on them whom care and are there for you!
CommentAuthorb2bnicola
All done Cece :)
And in a nice way to keep me from having to result in being nasty. She knows im not puttin up with owt nemore. She knows shes no longer a BM
and i feel so much better for it :)
xx
Happily Married! :) xxx
CommentAuthorCeCe
Fabulous. Glad it got sorted. TRUE mates don't assume and certainly don't 'forget' you x
CommentAuthorb2bnicola
Exactly and im glad i was able to tell her that! So 5 BMS and 4 USHERS remain :)
