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Wedding Forum - To have bridesmaids or not...

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    • ClaireM538
      Posted: Aug 21st 2016
    Hi Everyone,

    Am really needing some advice as this keeps going round and round in my head and can't decide what to do for the best.

    A few weeks after we got engaged I went round to a friends house (A) got drunk and asked her to be a bridesmaid. She was over the moon and even cried. The next morning I told one of my friends sisters (B)she wouldn't be bridesmaid as we just werent that close anymore, she took it ok but when I went home I cried as was upset at myself for hurting her feelings.

    My fiancée and I then sat down and decided we weren't going to have a wedding party as I hate picking between people. We told our friends and they seemed shocked but fine wIth it.

    Fastforwarded a couple of months and my two closest friends have voiced concern that I am going to regret my decision and I see how much it would mean to them to be involved as I have been bridesmaid for one and am in ones future wedding. Am now stuck between a rock and a hard place. Do I stick to my guns and have no one? Do i ask my two closest friends and risk upsetting A or do i ask everyone else and upset B again or just ask them all?
    • MichelleC961
      Got married 33 months ago
      Posted: Aug 21st 2016
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    To be honest I think if you have already asked A then I think it's a bit mean if yiu stand them down, I think it's good to have BMs to help you with thing and they can help organise people on the day. So you have A and then the 2 others, you've already told B they are not bridesmaid snd if you are not close then there is no point bringing it up again.

    I haven't asked my BM yet and am still trying to decide if I have just my sister or another friend- I'm just thinking my sister but OH seems to think it will be better with 2 BM- it's so hard!

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    • StephH96
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Aug 21st 2016
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
    I didn't have any bridesmaids and it didn't really affect anything at all.

    If you are truly happy without any then that is fine, but if you do decide to have BMs I would ask A plus the 2others.
    • MaxineP89
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Aug 21st 2016
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
    We are having my 2 daughters (aged 21 & 23) and my best friend.
    I did feel guilty that I wasn't having my niece, but if I had her then I would have had to her half sister, so in the end I settled for just my friend (she is mother of my niece and her half sister)

    You need to go with your heart, if you no longer want her as a bridesmaid then just tell her - but sooner rather than later so her feeling don't get hurt

    Looking forward to becoming the 3rd and last Mrs McLauchlan

    • MrsC2Be
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Aug 22nd 2016
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    I have asked bridesmaids as i like the bride and bridesmaid photos lol. i havent needed them though as im doing everything myself (so i know its done how i want it lol) and i wont ask them to do anything on the day other than enjoy themselves!

    Its completely up to you if you would prefer not to have them then dont. Or just have 1 on each side! xx

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    Met In Lanzarote April 2013
    Engaged In Rome February 2016
    Getting Married In Scotland May 2017
    • Elinor Claire
      CommentAuthorElinor Claire
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Aug 23rd 2016
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    You need someone to help you get ready on the day, but that could be a mum or aunt. If you decide against, maybe you could give A and your two closest friends other jobs to do.

    Members signature icon
    30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
    It was the day that I became Mrs. Dixon.

    • LeanneR0186
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Aug 23rd 2016
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    If you decided to have them I would have A and the 2 close friends. As upsetting as it is for B you have already told her she wasn't a BM. So should be ok with it. Unless your reason was cause you weren't having any, I would say she should be fine. Xx

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    The Richardson's 31/12/16

    • StephanieM158
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Aug 24th 2016
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
    Its upsetting for people but theyll get over it.
    if you dont want bridesmaids dont feel you have to because theyre putting pressure on. xx

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    Met 2004
    Engaged 2014
    Getting Married 2016
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