We are funding our wedding ourselves.... Whilst we have a rather large budget, huge amounts have been swallowed by venue, food and drink...
Who pays for the bridesmaids dresses? I ideally want my 3 maids in the same tea length dress, so would need matching shoes too. Do I ask them, do I meet them half way?
Who pays for the ushers attire, can I be cheeky and say they need to pay for it themselves? It would save us a fair bit of money. Especially as many bridesmaid dresses are ball park £100-£200. And suit hire £100 per person.
CommentAuthorVictoriaE35
I think if your insisting on matching then you need to pay and also the ushers. some may offer to pay for themselves but I think if you want them you should pay. sorry
CommentAuthorlizzylou
edited
Yeah, sorry but I agree with Victoria , I think if its you choosing everything you should pay. If you're really struggling with the budget can you choose different dresses? X
Lizzy. x
CommentAuthorShazk
I agree with other ladies if it U choosing then U should pay but maybe speak to them they maybe Willin x x
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CommentAuthormillz090
TAlk to them, first and see what ushers and bridesmaid are willing t pay for? However it's tough t expect people to pay out about £100 when you have chosen to get married, not them. And yes they wills happy for you but if attending as a guest then ma not spend that much on a outfit.
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CommentAuthorMrs C to be!
Sorry... New to this. Thanks ladies.... I didn't know the protocol as such, and I was thinking I would have to pay. Just means dress budget will be limited. I'm wanting something they can wear again if they wanted to but, I do obviously as most of us want to control the dresses as such of the wedding
CommentAuthorSianyCaitlin
I was told that usher's pay for their own suits? My girls have said they will chip in to help with their outfits as their dresses are something they could wear again & they really like them
Got together 06/07/2009
Got engaged 16/07/2012
I marry my best friend 08/06/2014
Can't wait to be Mrs Sharp x
CommentAuthorLlosa
ask them, i paid for my bridesmaids shoes but only because im so picky, but they paid for their dresses as they picked them and liked them
CommentAuthorLauraJo87
What I've seen done quite bit in the past is the bride sets a budget, say fifty quid, and if the bms can't find a dress they like for less than that, they pay the difference.
Be prepared that if they pay they will want a lot more input in what the choose...and trying to get three girls to agree on a dress can be tricky, particularly if you want them all to match.
I would also make sure you make it clear what they will or won't be paying for as it will save arguments later. Maybe you could by the dress, and they could buy the shoes and accessories?
I thought it was the groom that traditionally pays for the grooms men's attire...
However I wouldn't be too worried about tradition or etiquette, at the end of the day it's your day.
A lot of high street stores do bm style dresses for under a hundred quid, my friend picked hers up from mons00n in a sale, £120 reduced to forty quid and they're stunning, easily as nice as what you'd get in a bridal store.
Xx
My Beating Heart Belongs To You
30 August 2013
The First Day Of My Happily Ever After
CommentAuthorMrsMcK2B
I was my sister bm & myself & the other 2 bm's paid for our own dresses & she paid for hair make up, nails, tan & jewellery/accessories. She had said to us these are the dresses I want yous can either buy them & I'll pay other stuff or if I buy dresses yous pay for other stuffs. We agreed & bought dresses.
You don't marry someone you can live with -
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CommentAuthorMrsA-J
I spoke to mine, explained my situation. They all said they were fine with buying their own dresses....ideally something they can wear again if they were payin around £60 but if it was around or under £30 they said they didnt mind. Although Im not fused about what shoes they have on...
and tbh my bridesmaids sort of asked me to be bridesmaids lol so i said Id love you to be if I could afford it but really I can only have bridemaids if they dont mind paying for the dress...
Deffinatly talk to them. Some people do think its wrong as its your wedding and your day. but if your struggling then I cant see the problem. They will either say yay or nay!
CommentAuthorAmyP7
If you are telling them what to wear then I'm afraid you will probably have to pay yourself. But if you let them choose what they want to wear and they can wear it again then you can ask if they mind paying for the outfits. X x
CommentAuthorbex
u can get some fabulous offers on the bay of e if u keep checking, I got 2 matching dresses one brand new with tags on and one had been worn for just 2 hours they are perfect and only cost e £50 for both
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CommentAuthorDawnK21
For me I think it is relative to your overall budget. I will be a bridesmaid for my sister, and I know she is on a tight budget so I will offer to pay when we get to buying dresses. I wouldn't mind if she asked me first because we are close and I know why she'd have to ask.
That said, I can imagine feeling a bit put out if I was a bridesmaid for a friend who clearly had a decent budget but was splashing it on other things. Might make me feel a bit de-valued.
I think it's a judgement call, but if you do ask them to pay you need to have a good chat and help them see why. That way they will be left feeling happy to help out, rather than left out.
CommentAuthorMrs C to be!
It's difficult, are you guys having your bridesmaids hair done, and/or make up? As that's additional costs I'm thinking I have to factor in.
I was hoping to also pay for their hair to be done, and was planning on having them do their make up themselves. And then I thought about offering to pay upto £100 each for the dresses. But asking if they can buy the shoes. If they are in long dresses then shoes aren't an issue, but I'm leaning towards tea length as I feel there is a better chance they may wear them again, but then different coloured shoes, and different shoes I think would be noticeable and would look odd.
I really like many dessy and Alfred Angela dresses but they are all quite expensive. :-( we have a budget of £15k for the wedding, excluding honeymoon, and my dress. Which sounds a lot and is a lot, but our venue and catering is setting us back £9k of that.
CommentAuthorLauraJo87
I think offering them £100 each is very reasonable...to be honest, even in tea lenght dresses I wouldn't be worried about the shoes too much - I just don't think people will notice.
Or you could go for long - they can always be altered by the bms after if they want to wear them again.
Xx
My Beating Heart Belongs To You
30 August 2013
The First Day Of My Happily Ever After
CommentAuthorbarbie86
We're giving mine £100-150 towards the cost of their outfit (how much will depend on funds at the time). However, the only stipulations I've made is that they aren't too revealing; I don't mind what colour or style they choose, or even if they match, and likewise, I don't care what shoes they wear (they're different heights and wear different heel heights anyway).
I really think that if you want them in matching dresses or your choice, then you need to pay for them. I would be seriously unimpressed if someone asked me to be bridesmaid and then asked me to pay £100-200 for a dress and shoes I would likely never wear again (I am very fussy about clothes and shoes). Weddings are expensive for guests as it is what with gifts, the hen do, accommodation, etc, so really I think that if you've asked someone to be part of your day, it's down to you to foot the bill for their outfit, unless you are happy to give them free reign in choosing their own outfits.
CommentAuthorSaraA20
We have budgeted for the bridesmaids dresses and usher suits, however if the wedding keeps creeping up then we might have to ask the ushers to pay, however the oh is not happy about this! lol
CommentAuthorMrstalbot2b
My brother, h2b brother and both dad has offer to pay for they suits to help towards wedding we be getting the other 3 suits for urser, my to adut is my sil and neice and they both said they will go halfs on the dresses but I been paying off monthly with my dress as well and I nearly pay them off so I won't ask for money now as I manged to pay it, and I be paying for flower girl dress and 11 year old dress to but both mums has said the get the shoes to go with dress am also paying for all hair, make-up and jewelly iv already got the shoes for the bridesmaid. Just speak to them about and see what you can up with between you all, am sure they be happy to help in some way to help get your day you what.
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CommentAuthorsuzky123
we paid for the bm dresses because we wanted them all to match and we wanted a designer dress which we felt wasnt fair for the girls to pay for. Howver, you could maybe ask them to make a contribution? it depends on how much say they have.... if they have a say in the type of dress etc then you can get away with charging them more on the basis of its a dress they like and will wear again.
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CommentAuthor*KelBel*
We're getting all our attendants to pay for their own x
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CommentAuthorKirstyJ22
One of my bridesmaids actually said she'd prefer to pay for something so she has a bit of input and the other bridesmaid said she's happy to pay for things so just ask if they'd be happy to put half towards it maybe and I'm sure they will be x x
