I found this info very helpfull! Invitation EtiquetteThere are some rights and wrongs when it comes to wedding stationery: here's our guide to the accepted way of doing things. But remember this is your day so dare to be different if you like!
Wedding Invitations •Invitations are traditionally sent by the hosts, usually the bride's parents. If other people are hosting the wedding - perhaps the bride and groom themselves, the groom's parents, or other relatives - they should send the invitations. •Invitations should go out around eight to 12 weeks before the wedding, to give guests plenty of time to make travel and accommodation arrangements if necessary, and in any event not later than six weeks. •If you're getting married during the summer holiday period or over Easter or Christmas, or if you're getting married abroad, let people know the date as soon as it's fixed, even if it's six months ahead. You could always send informal save-the-date letters, with formal invitations later. •If you are inviting guests from overseas, let them know well ahead of time so they can arrange flights and accommodation. You could send their invitations about a month before inviting your local guests.
Evening Invitations •You can, of course, invite people to an evening get-together rather than to the wedding ceremony itself. Perhaps you want a small and personal gathering or perhaps your church or register office simply isn't big enough for everyone - whatever the reason, it's perfectly acceptable to invite people only to the reception. Just remember that your guests will want to know where you would like them to be, at what time, and what to expect when they get there! •Try to let people know what sort of evening to expect. A light snack, a buffet supper or dinner at 8.00pm? Evening dress ('black tie') or a more informal look? Will there be dancing? And if it's to be an all-night party the guests will certainly need to know! A brief reference on the evening invitation to any of these features will be enough. •The evening invitations should go out at the same time as the wedding invitations, firstly to give guests plenty of notice and also to avoid any confusion about who's being invited to which part of the celebrations. Reply cards
You'll need to know who's accepting your invitation so you can plan catering and seating and also order the next batch of stationery. The traditional way of replying to an invitation is by hand-written letter but reply cards are increasingly popular: sending one with your invitation is the easy and efficient way of making sure your guests reply promptly. If you include a return-by date on the card, and stamp and address the return envelope, it will make it even easier for guests to reply.
Order of service An Order of Service card provides details of your ceremony and is essential for church or civil weddings. The best man should hand the cards out - one to each guest - perhaps sharing the job with the groom and the ushers. The Order of Service cards can be printed once all the details of the ceremony have been arranged.
Menu cards Menu cards for the reception can be ordered and printed once details of the food and drinks have been arranged. They are really a courtesy to your guests: everyone feels happier if they know exactly what they are eating! Ideally suited to a sit-down meal, with one card for each place setting, they can also be used for a buffet where they can be set out at random on the tables. These are available to order through our brochure or via our helpline 0870 2424555.
Place Cards •Unless your reception is really informal, and no one minds who takes which seat, you'll need place cards to indicate to your guests where you would like them to sit. •Seating arrangements vary according to the number of guests, the number of tables and the formality of the occasion. A formal sit-down reception traditionally has a top table at which the bride and groom, their parents, the best man and the chief bridesmaid sit. You could add to this list and include one or two extra-special guests. •When it comes to seating the other guests, remember that most people will feel happy and relaxed if they can talk to someone they either know or have something in common with.
Wording your invitations •There are a few conventions here but basically it's a matter of formal or informal, traditional or contemporary. However remember it's your day and your celebration - so if you want to throw the rulebook out of the window, why not? •If you're sticking to convention, the number one rule is that invitations are written in the third person, referring to the hosts of the reception. This usually means the bride's parents, so a traditional invitation would start: Mr and Mrs Tom Edwards request the pleasure of the company of... Even if you use more contemporary wording, it's still the third person: Mr and Mrs Tom Edwards would like you to join them... •If there are joint hosts the invitation can come from both sets of parents. You could say: Mr and Mrs Tom Edwards and Mr and Mrs Michael Ross request the pleasure of the company of... •If the bride and groom are hosting the celebrations, the formal version would be: Miss Claire Edwards and Mr Peter Ross request the pleasure of the company of... Less formal wording here could be: Claire Edwards and Peter Ross would like to invite you to their wedding... •Even if things aren't quite as straightforward as this - perhaps the bride's parents are divorced, with one or both of them remarried - the convention is the same: the invitation comes from the host or hosts, in the third person. Remember to include all the relevant information on the invitation! Here's a quick check list:
Names of the hosts Names of the bride and groom Venue of ceremony Date and time of ceremony Reception details, if appropriate RSVP request and return address
•It's worth knowing that different nationalities may have specific points of etiquette when it comes to wedding invitations. If you think this might apply to you and your partner, ensure you check the details beforehand. •Like the rest of your wedding stationery, the wording on the invitations should reflect the overall style of your special day. If it's a formal event, stick to the rules, but if you're flouting tradition left, right and centre, you can do your own thing! A halfway measure might be to link the wording to your own special circumstances: so a pair who work together as teachers might refer to the start of a new term. The possibilities here are endless! When to compile your guest list
•Start drawing up your guest list as soon as possible as it can be a long and complicated job, depending on the number of guests you're inviting, the type of ceremony and reception you want, and of course your budget. •Traditionally the list is drawn up by the bride's parents, assuming they are hosting and therefore paying for the event, and the final say goes to them. But these days it's usual - and much friendlier - for the bride and groom and both sets of parents to work on the list together. This is especially important if the groom's parents are helping to bear the cost. •It's best to start on the guest list at least six months before the wedding. Your invitations will need to be sent out perhaps three months before the wedding, so you'll have three months to think it through!
CommentAuthorStave
Who to invite?
•Is your wedding to be a small and intimate affair or a large gathering of the clan? What size is the ceremony venue? And what's the budget to be? All these factors will affect the number of people you invite. •Most weddings are family occasions, and you'll probably want to start your list with the obvious people: parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. Then there are the close friends and perhaps long-standing colleagues of the bride and groom, as well as close friends of the bride and groom's parents. •It's thoughtful to send an invitation to someone even though you know they won't be able to make it - maybe they live too far away or are too ill or elderly to make the journey - but they'll really appreciate your consideration. It's also the done thing to send invitations to the best man, the bride's attendants, the groom's parents and the church minister, although not the registrar in the case of civil ceremonies. •In a perfect world, the guest list would be one third each from the bride's parents, the groom's parents, and the bride and groom. But this ratio simply may not work for you: it really doesn't matter, as long as the final list pleases everyone. Bear in mind, however, that whoever is hosting the wedding should really have the final say as far as the guest list is concerned. If you have to cut down on your guest list, ask yourself the basic question: will I mind, in 10 years' time, that this person wasn't at my wedding? •You may find that some people will be unable to accept, so be prepared with a reserve list. But be sure to allow enough time for invitations and replies, otherwise those who receive these second-wave invitations may feel they are last-minute substitutes. A Roman Catholic wedding?
If yours is to be a Roman Catholic wedding, you could send an invitation to the Pope. Discuss this with your priest, who will help with the arrangements.You'll be sent a papal blessing, which would surely be one of the highlights of your wedding day mementos.
Inviting children
•Whether to invite children to your wedding is an important decision. For some couples the little ones are a vital part of the day but for others the thought of bored or over-excited youngsters is not for their wedding day. Like the rest of your great day, what you decide about this is your personal choice - but whatever you decide, make it clear at the outset. •If you decide to invite children, they should be included on the invitation. On the day itself you can keep disruption to a minimum by seating children with their parents at the back of the church or marriage room so they can be taken out if they become noisy or restless. Consider hiring an entertainer or a creche facility to keep them amused during the reception. •If you decide not to invite children, make this plain on your invitations by listing only the names of the parents. But some parents may still ask if they can bring their children and you'll need a ready explanation that you can deliver without giving offence. Something along the lines of restrictions on numbers will be suitable, and most people will understand if children are not invited. Many parents might welcome the opportunity of a day out away from young children. •If you do invite children, remember to increase the quantities of soft drinks. Inviting guests' partners you don't know
Whether to invite the unmarried partners of your guests can be a complicated question, but again it's your choice. A guideline is that these days long-term relationships are socially almost equal to marriages; but if it's a new or short-term relationship, you might feel the friendship doesn't really merit a place for the partner, especially if you are looking to keep the numbers down. Whatever you decide, make it clear on the invitation and invite the partner by name.
Who should send the invitations?
The rule here is that the host sends. So if the bride's parents are hosting and bearing the cost of the wedding, it's they who should send the invitations and receive the replies, even if there's a financial contribution from the groom's parents. If the bride and groom are hosting and paying for their own wedding, it's fine for them to send the invitations and receive the replies.
Addressing the envelopes
•How you address the envelopes containing the wedding invitations is again a matter of personal choice and your decision will probably depend on how traditional your celebrations are going to be. •A formal approach demands a few points of etiquette. Firstly, in the case of a married couple, the envelope should be addressed only to the wife; convention assumes it's the wife who's in charge of social engagements. The formal mode of address for a married woman is to use her husband's first name, for instance Mrs Thomas Edwards. If you don't know the wife (perhaps the invitation is to a male colleague and his wife) the envelope should be addressed to the husband. Abbreviations of names (Jim, Bill) or addresses (Rd, Ave) should be avoided. •Other formal pointers include: men should be addressed as Esq (short for esquire,) widows should be addressed using the husband's first name, and a divorced woman still using her married name should be addressed as Mrs, with her own first name followed by her married name. •An unmarried couple in an established relationship should be addressed as Miss (her own first name and surname) and (his first name and surname) Esq, while envelopes to same sex couples in an established relationship and living at the same address should include both partners, with the names in alphabetical order, for instance John Brown Esq and Colin Smith Esq. •A lot of these conventions are just that - conventions - and you can of course simply address the envelopes to people as you know them. Don't forget to hand-write the envelopes: printed labels might seem efficient, but they're pretty impersonal and might give guests the wrong impression. Enclosing wedding information
•Your guests might need directions to the venue for the ceremony and then on to the reception. It's a good idea to show the ceremony venue in relation to the main approach roads into the area, and remember that some people appreciate written directions as well as a map. •Some of your guests may need overnight accommodation, depending on the time of your wedding ceremony and reception and also of course on how far they're travelling. Sending details of local accommodation can be really helpful, particularly if you can include a range of prices. If you're holding your reception in a hotel it's worth asking if your guests can be given a reduction on the standard room rates. •You can send this information when you send your invitations, but you might prefer to wait for replies so you can send details just to those who are accepting.
CommentAuthorgraffalice
I found this really helpful, thank you! x x haha invite the pope, that made me laugh
