Wedding Forum - Things you wish you didn't know... UPDATED...

...because they bum you out even more than you already are about something.

Please bear with me on this,...
I can't help but feel a bit disappointed about my stepsons (who is 15) attitude about the wedding day. We get on pretty well and have a laugh - when talking with his dad about marrying me, stepson said "you've got a good'un there dad" referring to me.
I know that on the run up, he kept going on about how the suit was green (it was teal, same as the best men), but he was just imitating his dad by trying to wind us up about it - he must've been because he even asked if he could have a matching waistcoat for it too!
He was ring bearer on the day, but after the ceremony he went off away from everyone to sit in the shade. I thought maybe he was hot & wanted space away from relatives/kids etc. Fair enough.
During the meal he had a pack of cards to play with - FIL was sat next to him & played with him. Between courses he was outside playing with footballs with another lad his age in the gorgeous sunshine.
After the meal, FIL & MIL popped home to see to the dogs & took stepson with them, they returned in time for the first dance and stepson had changed out of his suit into jeans & t-shirt (could he not have worn the nice trendy black striped shirt he likes?).

So on top of the disappointment that step son didn't write in the guest book, or get us a wedding card, I have since found out from MIL that he didn't want to return to the venue for the evening reception, and found out from my mum that although she tried to persuade him to cut in at the end of the first dance, saying that his dad would be so happy if he did, he bluntly refused and carried on playing on his iPad.

Thinking about it, he didn't say anything resembling congratulations to us at all :-(

I know he's a teenager, but I had hoped that he would've made some sort of effort for his dad.

Hubby doesn't know that his son didn't get us a card - he has yet to read through them all. Do I get a card on stepsons behalf and ask him to sign it so it looks like stepson did make an effort for his dad?

We've booked a 2 week holiday to Orlando for next week for the three of us, going to the theme parks and is getting a new ps vita so he doesn't get bored on the flight over... Basically, spending the fund that was intended for a fabulous honeymoon but due to hubby getting severe dad guilt, wanted to spend it on a fab holiday for the lad so he doesn't feel as though he's missing out while he & I go on honeymoon (we had a week break in Italy - nice, but not the once-in-a-lifetime trip we originally discussed as our honeymoon) but I agreed to the family holiday. He's not missing out...

I don't think most 15 year olds think about cards etc, My mum dealt with family cards till I was 19. and just got me to sign them. You may now be his Stepmother by law, but your not his parent , just let your hubby realise and deal with it if he thinks its a issue. kids will be kids

As a teenage boy I would say he probably isn't bothered about nice little touches i.e. cards and signing the guest book. He probably hasn't meant to be nasty or cause any upset in any way, he just probably didn't want to be sentimental. Do you think he would find being sentimental a little embarrassing? Xx

As above!

Hi ladies, thanks for your replies.
So it seems things are back to normal - out shopping today and stepson was his old self, offering to carry bags, having a joke with me, etc.
But he doesn't cope well with queuing for example, so I'm thinking its likely he was just bored on the wedding day. I've got incredible patience, and have done from an early age so perhaps I was expecting too much of him to just sit and try not to look bored for a day. I suppose weddings are rarely a blokes idea of fun, let alone a for a teenager.
Had have not come back for the evening, then I would've been miffed.
All is well, and looking forward to the holiday with him :-)