Wedding Forum - There's no words to describe how i'm...

Well sadly i was due to get married on 15th September 2012 - Yes that's right 6 weeks tomorrow and on Tuesday my ex-h2b decided he couldn't go ahead and was moving back to his mum and dads.....he says he can't commit, can't say his vows when he doesn't mean them and would be lying to himself, me and everyone. He said he didn't know if it was wedding jitters or what, but couldn't risk us getting married and separating 6 months down the line! I asked him "what if" we didn't and he said he can't take that risk and it will just have to be a regret he will have to live with.

I was distraught Tuesday and Wednesday but ever since i've just been numb!! I don't know how i should feel, what to think?! It's just not hit me yet that nevermind the wedding, we're over for good!! After 8 years together, 3 years living together and only 6 weeks to go to the wedding i now feel i have nothing :0( God only knows how i will feel on the 15th Sept!!

I feel so much time, money and energy has just been wasted. My bridesmaids dresses and mine are in the process of being altered i have personalised gifts no longer needed. As it's so close some people/companies have been more understanding than others but my parents had to lose 50% of the venue cost (amongst alot of other things) and his parents aren't going to be happy that they have to pay the full amount for the cars as it's not been cancelled prior to 8 weeks before!! Part of me wonders which would have been worse... this or us at least getting married, enjoying the day, honeymoon etc and giving married life a chance. This i will never know though.

He's said i could go on the "honeymoon" as he knew how much i was looking forward to it, however that's not been straightforward as we have scheduled flights booked so we couldn't just change the name on them, my mum (has been an angel!) has so kindly after all the money she's lost - paid £1,200 for flights same as mine then i won't be going alone and not all is lost as we can simply change the name on the accomodation!! This holiday is the only thing what's keeping me going at the minute and it's going to be nice to spend time with my mum after everything but also awful to think it should have been the most special holiday of mine and ex's relationship. I'm going to feel like Carrie in S.. and the City Movie :0(

I just feel my future has most certainly changed paths, only this time last week i was planning our wedding, i was taking Folic Acid thinking we were going to start TTC, there was 2 of us paying all the bills and now it's all been ripped from underneath me and i'm going to have to tighten my belt to fund everything myself, with no plans of children, married life etc. I know they say everything happens for a reason so will be interesting to look back on all this and hopefully see why it wasn't meant to be at the time.

So on that note sorry to go on but i wish every b2b and h2b all the luck, love and happiness in the world. However take one piece of advice from me...don't stress over any minor details. Looking back now i'd change it all if it meant that my ex was a man who loved me and was committed to me as much as i was to him. As long as your partner is going to say those vows and mean every word, what does it matter if it rains, there's a hiccup, your bridesmaid annoys etc

Lots of love xxx

Awwwww. I'm so sorry to hear this. There isn't much we can all say really to make it better. Only that we're here for you.
Despite the shadow over the honeymoon I think it will do you the world of good to go on the holiday with your mum. It may be tough at 1st but it will be good for you.
Your words are truely words of wisdom and I will certainly take heed of them
xxx

o poor babes..... i feel so deeply for you..... MASSIVE MASSIVE HUGS! lotsve love xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Im so sorry for what you are going through right now. I can never understand why guys propose if its something there unsure about.There just setting out to hurt people. I think you have def had a lucky escape here although it wont feel like it now. At least you wont be wasting any more years on a guy who clearly doesnt deserve you! lots of hugs xxx

omg I dont know what to say. Just try and take each day as it comes. Is there defo no hope there? Will he change his mind and still go out with you if you cancel the wedding? Just focus on the relationship instead of married life?

I'm so sorry! It was hard to read. The only thing I can think to say is that it probably is best for him to have told you before the wedding instead of you getting married and having children with a man that didn't really want it. You'll find someone who's worth it and who will love you more than life itself x x

I'm so sorry to hear your heart breaking news. I can only say that over time, you will find your life gets a bit easier. It is better to have found out now rather than after getting married. I really hope it works out for you and that you meet the man that truly deserves you. x

so sorry hun! how old r u both?mayb its age x

I have just read what you have written in your profile about you and h2b and something tells me he's going to regret his decision in the future. If you are both only young all the wedding pressure and the trying for babies is all a bit to much for some men. But if he does realise in the future that you are the one for him maybe go away without all the fuss and have a quiet wedding just the two of you. Some people just cant cope with pressure and the fight or flight mechanism kicks in and you just feel like you have to run. Hope you feel better soon love and have a lovely holiday with your mum and dont forget your mum is your best friend and will be there for you when no one else is xx

So sorry to hear this hun, he should have spoken to you instead of leaving it so late to tell you :( all the best x

My heart is breaking for you reading your story, I am so so sorry. Has he ever given any signs that this was how he was feeling? Just seems so strange for him to suddenly decide to move out without even discussing it with you. Although I don't know anything about your situation, I also reckon he'll regret his decision sometime down the line, but regardless, stay strong, take as much time as you need to come to terms with what's happened, enjoy your holiday and you will get through this. Huge virtual *hugs* x

Oh god this is awful for you :( your mum sounds like an angel though.

As for his parents having to pay for costs, sounds like the least of their worries, they have a very confused and mixed up son they need to help- I know he's done this to you but he's obviously got a lot on his mind, afterall, you were in love- no one does things like this on a whim. You're the one suffering and we all give you humongous hugs, you're heart must be in bits. But we're all here if you need to rant or just to chat. You really do have the right to do what you want right now.

Lots of love xxx

Aww hun, I am shocked that he has done this to you so near to the day. I agree with the fact that it may be a fight or flight reaction he has had, not that it helps you. Take each day as it comes and make sure you look after yourself and have your friends and family close by you. Huge hugs. xxx

Oh no, iv just read this, i am so sorry for you. take care of yourself!x

That's horrendous. There really aren't words. Why on earth did he propose if he can't commit?? I'm so so sorry to read that, thank goodness you have supportive people around you to get you through this. Good luck with it all, you'll be a stronger person for it but you shouldn't be put through something like that by someone who should love you, and in whom you've invested 8 years of your life. My heart really and truly goes out to you. x

aww hun I hope you are coping. I wish there was more that could be said, but stay strong x

Big hug lovely.....time will heal xx

oh hunni i feel for you. Hope you can get some money back. How the hell can someone treat someone like this. *big hugs* x

Oh babe! You poor thing! I agree with LauraJo87 and also I know its sort of a cliche but thank goodness it happened now and not later on and I hope you can find happiness again soon and find someone really special xxx

Go and spoil yourself and relax xxx

I'm so, so sorry to hear that :-( I suppose the one good thing is at least you know now and not further down the line, i.e. the day before the wedding or even after you're married, I know that won't make you feel better right now though. I promise though one day you will look back on this and you WILL be glad this has happened. If he doesn't want to commit then it's hos loss and he doesn't deserve you anyway. Sending massive hugs xx

hey you never know who you might meet on holiday !!!!

I can't imagine how you are feeling this must be a devastating time for you. You sound really sensible though and you are seeing that everything happens for a reason. I hope in a year or so's time you will look back and be thankful that you didn't marry someone who can't make that commitment to you. It doesn't really make sense why he has decided that he can't go through with it after you have been together so long and even lived together for as long as you have. I hope you will find someone who will love you completely and treat you with the respect you deserve. xx

aw nicola thats horrible hun!
if you're worried about how ur going to feel on that day in 7 weeks time, then arrange some plans for the whole day to try and preoccupy ur thoughts!

the day i was meant to be gettin married 2/3 years ago now me and my best friend spent the whole day shopping, eating, laughing, drinking and not one word was mentioned of it which looking back was just what I need. I found that painting my smiley face on day by day actually stuck after time and it was no longer an effort to "try" and be happy, i just was.

ull get there too im sure hun!

hope ur okay and chin up :) xx