I just read this article and wanted to share it with you all as it's so lovely (it made me cry!) and just gave me abit of a reality check. I haven't put the link as i didn't want it to be seen as advertising for the photographer but if anyone does want it then let me know.
In what has become a quarterly ritual, I submitted a selection of wedding photos to a well-known wedding magazine. They were all weddings in beautiful locations, with gorgeous color and emotion and life and LOVE. I was so proud of each of them, and happy to share the stories I'd told through photographs for each couple.
A couple weeks after submitting, I got this reply: "These are all really pretty, but we want to see more details. More pictures of flowers, centerpieces, and any other details that really made these weddings special. Our Real Weddings section should give brides ideas for planning the perfect wedding."
And while I did provide additional detail photos, I also kept the original e-mail in my inbox, just... mulling it over.
See, wedding publications exist to feed the industry: the florists and the lighting designers and the calligraphers and the caterers and the photographers and the thousands upon thousands of couples who will spend thousands upon thousands of dollars on their weddings. Magazines and blogs publish pictures of couples in lavish surroundings with immaculate decor, and vendors who can provide similar glitz and glam pay big bucks for full-page ads and featured banners. Many women (in particular) spends YEARS scouring these staples of wedding wisdom for the perfect dress, the perfect bouquet, the perfect cake... when they finally meet the perfect partner they'll be ready.
I've had my own work published in these magazines. I've been featured on wedding blogs. I've even paid to advertise with publications who "reach a bajilliondy high-end brides every month."
As I think back on the hundred-plus weddings I've photographed, I want to emphasize this:
Every wedding is perfect.
I love a good party.
I love a bride in the most elaborate, fancy, princess-y dress you've ever dreamed of.
I love custom chuppahs and embroidered aisle runners and matchy-matchy bridesmaids dresses.
I love to photograph flowers and shoes.
But you know why I REALLY do what I do?
To photograph your parents, who will hold hands and cry on the first row of the chapel. To photograph your sister dancing with that boy she will marry in three years. To photograph those kids who will grow up so, so quickly. To photograph your grandfather, who will pass away next spring. To photograph your first kiss as a married couple, your best friend busting out her signature dance moves, the flower girl asleep under a table, and maybe even your ex looking pretty wistful as he hugs you a little too long in the receiving line.
You already know: your cake will disappear in less than an hour, your flowers will wilt before the ceremony ends, and that uncomfortable tux will go back to the rental place in the morning. But those photos... they're gonna be there forever. You'll have them when your own kids are born, when you have the biggest fight ever with your partner and need to be reminded of how much you really love each other, when your parents pass away and you realize the last time you danced with them was at your wedding...
So, nothing against the wedding magazines and blogs and their endless, passionate quest for "perfect" detail shots. PLEASE: throw the party of your lives with every. single. detail. EXACTLY as you dreamed it would be.
But my job -- MY job -- is to see past all that. My job is to give you photos that will remind you why you had that damn expensive party in the first place.
If you're planning your wedding right now, please just close the magazine. Log out of Pinterest. And look at the person you want to grow old with. Remind yourself of why you're doing this. And really CELEBRATE when that day comes. Don't stress about your shoes or your cake or your flowers. Don't stress about anything. When it's all over, you will be married, and surrounded by the people who know you and love you most in the whole wide world.
I promise: that is the Perfect Wedding.
CommentAuthorbumblebumble
That is gorgeous! So lovely! made me well up too!! xxx
x Keeley x
CommentAuthorTatty
Awhh, I aren't going to lie i shed a tear or two, that's so lovely! x
Love: A wildly misunderstood, although highly desirable,
malfunction of the heart.
37 Pounds down, 22 pounds to go! I will be a skinny bride!
28th March 2014 will be the day I marry my best friend.
CommentAuthor*KelBel*
Aww that's so sweet ..... :-D beautiful words xx
Velcro...my wedding day twinny! The Two Kel's!
Got engaged 14/10/12 in Central Park NYC!
Became Mrs Macdonald 13th September 2014
Mummy to 4 girlies and baby blue boy Due 10/05/2016
CommentAuthorShirleygirly
That is beautiful and it's so true. x
I can't wait until 29/06/2013
The day I marry the man of my dreams!
Aww I love that. It is so true.. it doesn't matter What you have on the day, its the person ur marrying that's important :)
caught the catch of my lifetime
25.05.2013. best day of my life
CommentAuthorSazzell23
That is so good! :)
CommentAuthorSianyCaitlin
That is soooo sweet, I love it!! xx
Got together 06/07/2009
Got engaged 16/07/2012
I marry my best friend 08/06/2014
Can't wait to be Mrs Sharp x
CommentAuthorNearlyMrsS
i love this! what a wonderful reality check. thanks for sharing.
Can't wait to be a Mrs to my Mr xxx
CommentAuthorNearlyMrsFountain
After stressing about flowers for the last day or so this is perfect xxxx Thank you, always good to she'd a tear xx
CommentAuthor~Tigerlili~
So true and so beautiful. Sometimes I think all of us can be guilty of getting so wrapped up in planning and details that we forget the bigger picture. H2b just tells me 'A wedding is one day, it's the marriage that counts'
10-5-2014 Marrying my soul mate.
Future Mrs Miller - Can't wait!
CommentAuthorb2bnicola
aw gave me goosebumps :) x
Happily Married! :) xxx
CommentAuthorPenguinJ
awww so sweet, made me well up too haha xxx
So lucky to be marrying my soulmate on 18/07/20
CommentAuthorMrs Jones
edited
Oh wow! It really makes you think... :')
<3
Got together - 05.11.2006
Engaged - 05.11.2009
Married - 22.05.2013
CommentAuthorHannahD47
It really does. And you're right TigerLili, we all get so caught up in the planning it's easy to lose sight of what's important.
xx
CommentAuthorGillianE
I welled up reading that, what a lovely way to see things and so very heartfelt and true too. This is exactly why i don't get stressed over things and take my time to really think about what we want from our wedding. I was just saying to my friend today, that our wedding is about having those people close to us sharing our day, it doesn't matter about the elaborate and expensive gifts and decorations etc. It's about having a good time and sharing that happy occasion.
Why waste money and time on things that will get forgotten about.
xx
CommentAuthorsarah
So true x
CommentAuthorAmyP7
Aww how lovely x x
CommentAuthorBobsi
That is beautiful. X
Got together June 11th 2006
Getting married June 11th 2014
8 years to the day and I'll be Mrs T.
CommentAuthornatalie2614
That's beautiful x
Married my best friend 05.04.2013
CommentAuthorMargaretH85
That is lovely and absolutely spot on.
I do find that some people lose sight of why they're getting married in the first place.
Yes all the hoopla that goes with it is "fun", but what really matters, is getting married to the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, in front of all the people who you love and who love you.
CommentAuthor*Claire*
Yeah, we do sometimes lose sight of why we are getting married. Lost in all the prep. And in my case really annoyed right now with H2b to the point of....do I really want to spend the rest of my life with such a selfish man!! This article has just defrosted my annoyance and warmed my soul a little..... Thanks for posting!
CommentAuthorHannahD47
No problem and i hope your issue is resolved quickly :)
xx
CommentAuthorkimicharles
Awwww that is sooo lovely. Bookmarked to give ideas to my own photographer for photos. :-)