I just wondered what all your thoughts were on superstitions surrounding the bride- and groom-to-be sharing accommodation on the night before the wedding, and seeing each other on the day of?
Example: Me and OH live together... if we'd chosen to get married in the local church then we'd be hard pressed to find some way of making us NOT be in the same place from the evening before until the ceremony!
Our actual wedding is in a castle venue where we have some cottages in the grounds for the night before. As we were being showed around, the rep made it clear that *this* cottage is for the bride and her family (sooo..... that's just me in a 5-bed cottage), and *this* cottage is for the groom's family (this actually works well for him).... then the next morning we have separate appointments with the registrar at 11am before our ceremony at 1.30. Guests will be at the venue from 11.30am... so potentially i'm, what, locked in a room until I'm allowed to come out for the ceremony?
This is just the "tradition" foisted upon us, to be honest. Neither of us are particularly fond of any part - we'd both be happier spending the night before together, then separate to get ready, but we're not scared of bad luck from seeing each other on the day...... though I would only change into "the dress" without him seeing, as I'd like that to be a surprise :)
So, question is, how much is "tradition" important to people? I know the venue has pretty clear ideas, for example, about when we can see each other... and his family stick by the general superstitions.... I don't want anyone saying it's going to be doom and gloom and a failed marriage because we did something wrong (this is unlikely)!
Ideas?
CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
My first marriage we stayed in the same house and went separate ways to get ready, this time we went separate ways the night before and did not see each other, or text, or speak on the phone until I saw him at 3pm when we got married.
Our wedding day - 6 October 2012
CommentAuthorKathleenO17
They may just have assumed as I think a lot of people still honour these traditions. If it is something you and your partner are not too fussed about I'm sure if you explained it to your venue they would be fine with it.
Me and my hubby to me are staying in the same hotel the night before but separate sides to avoid any chance of bumping into each other ahead of our 2pm ceremony. I will be eating in the room but I will also be helping decorate/set up early morning and then be heading back to get my hair/make up done. The bridesmaids and ushers will be aware of the situation and will be on hand to avoid any bump in opportunities. I think my partner is planning on going swimming as apart from the bits we can do the night before on the day only really 1 of us will be able to help set up
I think the time apart will make it all a bit more exciting when I do finally see him at the alter as if I'm not with him I will usually be texting him and we said we wouldn't be doing this on the day either x
CommentAuthorEmily17
Ping, it is entirely up to you. I think a majority of people still don't see each other the night before the wedding which is why they have assumed.
Just talk to them and explain. I'm sure they will be accommodating.
Met in 2009
He proposed Jan 2014
Will become Mrs P 7th October 2017
CommentAuthorNicolaB7220
It's entirely up to you and you shouldn't do something just because it's a tradition. Got with your gut instinct and do what you want, the venue will have assumed so as soon as you tell them what you want, I am sure it won't be a problem.
traditions are so different now. i still like the idea that we wont see each other until i walk down the aisle, so we are both staying at our venue, but in different rooms and i wont leave mine until im ready for the aisle so we wont see each. Its entirely up to you, some people stay with their OH's and walk down the aisle together! Nothings set in stone anymore, its your day do it your own way x
Met In Lanzarote April 2013
Engaged In Rome February 2016
Getting Married In Scotland May 2017
CommentAuthorElinor Claire
It's entirely up to you. We did honour it, but we weren't living together until after the wedding. I stayed at hubby's house (where I was moving in) for the week before as it made it easier to get things done, but went home for the last time the night before the wedding as I was getting ready there. I lodged with my MOH so it made sense to use that as my base.
30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
It was the day that I became Mrs. Dixon.
CommentAuthorMichelleC961
We are going traditional and not seeing each other from after the rehearsal the night before! Not sure yet of same hotel or different
It's your wedding, your choice- just say to venue and I am sure they will be fine :-)
CommentAuthorPing
Thanks for all the replies!
I think the issue for me is that I don't fancy sitting around on my own while all my guests and friends arrive. OR, if I'm out there, the OH has to squirrel himself away.
Ahh, I don't know, undecided! I've got some time to think about it at least :)
CommentAuthorMrsC2Be
Usually youll have your mum, mil and bridesmaides in the room whilst you get ready, and usually dont leave until you go to the church/ready to walk down the aisle at the venue xx
Met In Lanzarote April 2013
Engaged In Rome February 2016
Getting Married In Scotland May 2017
CommentAuthorWundatigga
We've not decided on who's staying where and I am considering stopping at the hotel with the bm's the night before but mainly so I'm there to organise suppliers and so we're there ready for hair and makeup.
However we will be seeing each other before the ceremony as we are going to have some photos done together and with the kids then, before everyone else arrives!
Started dating: 10th February 2011
Welcomed our little girl: May 2015
I proposed: 23rd December 2015
I finally become Mrs R 17th August 2017
CommentAuthorPing
Well, it's just me at the moment, maybe 1 bridesmaid/MoH, though the bridesmaid (if there is one) is only young. MIL I dunno, think she'd prefer to be organising stuff downstairs. Not got any family of my own. Hence why I don't really want to hang about on my own! Hopefully I can find a MoH... all my "best friends" are male so will need to do some digging :)
CommentAuthorJulieB11
Have a Man of Honour. Nothing these days says it has to be a woman. Im having my sister as MOH and no bridesmaids but my best friend is a man and if I didn't have my sister he would be standing with me. I was MOH last summer and the Man of Honour actually walked me down the aisle.
CommentAuthorFayeH
I'm another person in the man of honor camp. My best friend Nathaniel is going to be my man of honor/best man as he's the person i'm closest with apart from OH.
It's 2017, throw tradition in a volcano if you don't like it. Apart from a house, your wedding is likely to be one of the most expensive things you ever buy and it's the one day of your life when it's completely about you and your other half.
On the luck front, I honestly believe that life just happens - we can't change it and separating for a few hours isn't going to make the tiniest bit of difference to how things pan out.
Things that are unacceptable to do at your wedding include: - insist people come if it's very expensive to do so - Insult or harm you guests or make them very uncomfortable - Be rude to staff - demand gifts or money - alienate your friends and family over inconsequential wedding issues
Literally everything else is OK.
CommentAuthorWizbit89
I love the traditions but I wouldn't be upset if we couldn't follow them, you need to go with what will make you happiest and what will give you the most enjoyment on your day.
ladies will be getting ready at my MOH house and then cars picking us up and going to the venue. The men will be staying in a hotel local to the venue which is where a lot of our guests will be staying too, its also where we will stay together the night of the wedding.
I think the tradition holds fast with me purely because we live together and have done for 6 years so for me it adds to the experience and the excitement but I wouldn't be superstitious about seeing him for other reasons :)
