FREE Wedding Table Planner

+ FREE Wedding Budget Planner and more wedding planning tools

Join now free to use

Wedding Forum - The in laws!!...

Not signed in (Sign In)

UKbride Supermarket


* Discount available to Power Users only. Terms and conditions apply. more

  1.  
    • MrsW2b_x
      CommentAuthorMrsW2b_x
      Posted: Apr 21st 2014
     
    Hi, I'm a newbie!

    I need to rant- I feel like I have nobody to talk to who will understand or listen except my fiancée and it's his sister who's the problem!
    Basically she's a cow!!!
    When we booked; we asked her to be bridesmaid and she accepted. At this point, she offered to
    Do my wedding day hair as she's a qualified hairdresser- I accepted gratefully. This was September last year. She was involved in my dress shopping, looking for her dress, my hairstyle... I never asked her to Do anything. A few weeks ago she messaged me being really mean saying that she's sick of me, the wedding and of me getting her to do my *hit. My fiancée spoke to her to try and clear up any confusion. Three weeks later- nothing. I was in the process of looking for BM dresses and flowers so sent her a long but friendly message asking how she felt about being bridesmaid (knowing that she wasn't interested). She said She didn't care and probably wouldn't have time. On top of this she said I was being a pain about my hair and she hadn't planned on doing trials- apparently I'm being a princess and should know what I want!! She said she refused to do that too. Fine- At least I knew. So I ordered my BM dresses (two friends) and we were discussing the other day in Facebook - as you do- nothing specific just about alterations on an unrelated post. Suddenly the mental cow has decided she's angry with me because I'm a b*tch as I haven't ordered her a dress?!?! She's told her mom that I haven't spoken to her about it and she had to find out on Facebook. She's 39!! What she isn't banking on- I have kept all the messages and the reason I haven't shown her mom is because she's slagging her off on the messages. I feel like I have no choice but to prove I'm in the right but in doing so I'm going to Upset mil who already dislikes me.
    She went round telling other family members who hadn't yet received invites that they weren't invited (theirs were in the post- hers hand delivered!) and then had a go at me saying how dare you not invite my brother and sister. As if I would do that?!!

    Luckily my fiancée knows what's gone on but I just feel so put out!
    What is wrong with people?! I genuinely feel like she's trying to Ruin this for me.
  2.  
    • almost a year wife!!
      CommentAuthoralmost a year wife!!
      Got married 7 years ago
      Posted: Apr 21st 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Tell her where to go x

    Members signature icon
    Ill marry my hero


  3.  
    • Elinor Claire
      CommentAuthorElinor Claire
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Apr 22nd 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    It sounds like you're better off keeping your distance from her. You might need to let your fiancé smooth things over with your mil and any other family members on his side that sil has upset. It doesn't sound like they'll listen to your side of the story.

    Members signature icon
    30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
    It was the day that I became Mrs. Dixon.

  4.  
    • Becky1608
      CommentAuthorBecky1608
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Apr 22nd 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Wow she sounds awful!!! She's the one who said she didn't want to be BM anymore so why are you in the wrong for not buying her a dress?? Xxx

    Members signature icon
    29/09/2008 - The Day we met
    12/11/2008 - When we decided to be more than friends
    04/11/2012 - A proposal in Central Park NYC
    08/11/2014 - The day we say I do!
  5.  
    • clairenina
      CommentAuthorclairenina
      Got married 7 years ago
      Posted: Apr 22nd 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    I wouldn't order a dress for someone who was rude to me. I'd tell her where to go, and not rely on her for anything at all.
  6.  
    • **MrsFarrelly2B**
      CommentAuthor**MrsFarrelly2B**
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Apr 22nd 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    OMG! whats wrong with people! You hear people go on and on about Bridezillas - but flaming heck I reckon there are more Guestzillas out there - not to mention "imjealousitsyounotme-zillas"
    Your finace needs to tell her to do one - whether she is his siter or not! My sister has been awkward and difficult - and uninterested but not to that extent - thats awful.

    No way should she be a BM ...... and i wouldnt trust her to do your hair - who knows what would happen!
    xx


    Members signature icon
    Met as Bingo Managers in Kent
    Engaged 30th July 2013
    Will be married 31st Aug 2014
    Honeymooning in Las Vegas & Mexico come Oct 2014 :-)
  7.  
    • Showgirl
      CommentAuthorShowgirl
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Apr 22nd 2014
      BadgeBadge
     
    If your FMIL says something to you then I wouldn't hesitate in letting her see those messages - her daughter was the one being nasty not you. At least you fiance knows the score and can weigh in if needs be.
    Is she/has she been married herself? Does she normally thrive of drama or is this a bit out of the blue?
  8.  
    • clairenina
      CommentAuthorclairenina
      Got married 7 years ago
      Posted: Apr 22nd 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Isn't it weird how weddings are supposed to be happy times, but it can be when you really do see people at their worst. People can turn into such horrorbags
  9.  
    • AH86
      CommentAuthorAH86
      Posted: Apr 22nd 2014
      Ticker backgroundTicker foreground
     
    Maybe you are best off keeping your distance and letting your fiancé deal with them as they are his family and especially if you feel disliked by them already. He knows whole story and truth too so if it were me I would carry on planning without her as bridesmaid and doing what you're doing as they will soon get the invites etc and realise they are wrong there. I wouldn't give them anymore ammunition. Just get him to deal with it and until it's re solved and they apologise (he should tell him what a hard time you are having and how they have made it unnecEssarily difficult) I would scrub at least her off of the list completely.

    Good luck hun x

    Members signature icon
    Friday 10th April 2015
    Marrying my best friend
    Not long now :D
  10.  
    • *KelBel*
      CommentAuthor*KelBel*
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Apr 22nd 2014
      Is poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadge
     
    At least you have the messages still as proof to show how much of a complete loon she is!

    Members signature icon
    Velcro...my wedding day twinny! The Two Kel's!
    Got engaged 14/10/12 in Central Park NYC!
    Became Mrs Macdonald 13th September 2014
    Mummy to 4 girlies and baby blue boy Due 10/05/2016
  11.  
    • MrsW2b_x
      CommentAuthorMrsW2b_x
      Posted: Apr 22nd 2014
     
    Thanks for all of your replies, I felt like I was going crazy or overreacting!
    She has never been married and is single. She seems very bitter - in a way I feel sorry for her but refuse to have our special day ruined.

    Don't seem to be getting anywhere - tried to be nice all the way through but she just keeps throwing more at me. H2B is being amazing and has said he'd rather her not come but I'm worried about the in-law backlash this will create!

    I love the guest-zilla creation! This is so true, everyone seems to want thir needs considering. I'm so angry with a lot of people though all of this!

    On the plus side, I have 2 bridesmaids, 2 dresses & have booked a professional hairdresser for the day so I won't be getting done over!

    Thanks again all :) - sometimes you just need to vent xx
  12.  
    • MiriamF1
      CommentAuthorMiriamF1
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Apr 22nd 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    wow she sounds like a piece of work!
  13.  
    • Mrs M Wade
      CommentAuthorMrs M Wade
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Apr 22nd 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Oh dear....no wonder she's single and never been married if she acts like that especially at 39!! I'd tell her where to go and enjoy the day without her x

    Members signature icon
    Became Mrs Wade 06/08/2016


  14.  
    • MrsW2b_x
      CommentAuthorMrsW2b_x
      Posted: Apr 22nd 2014
     
    Haha Mrs M Wade2B- exactly :) x
  15.  
    • LauraK7
      CommentAuthorLauraK7
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Apr 23rd 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Haha guestzillas yh tell her where to go she's a grown woman for goodness sake why does wedding planning bring out the worst in people and they all seem to think they have a say in it
  16.  
    • lala "mod" bunni
      CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
      Got married 9 years ago
      Posted: Apr 23rd 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    SLAP HER

  17.  
    • Whovianbride
      CommentAuthorWhovianbride
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Apr 23rd 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    love you Carla

    Members signature icon
    Met June 2009 on my Birthday,Met again July 2009 and got
    together, May 2010 Moved in,Jan 2011 got pregnant,
    August 2011 Got our own place, 2011 Had our Baby Girl,
    Dec 2011 Got engaged, July 2015 Getting married! Yay!
  18.  
    • Showgirl
      CommentAuthorShowgirl
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Apr 23rd 2014
      BadgeBadge
     
    Better yet, just say the word and we'll all line up to slap her for you
  19.  
    • MrsW2b_x
      CommentAuthorMrsW2b_x
      Posted: Apr 23rd 2014
     
    Slapping her is so tempting!
    Update- my h2b spoke to the MIl earlier, who alleges she had no idea about any of this. She also
    Said that I was in the right not to order the nutjob a BM dress & seems to agree with us! Result
  20.  
    • MrsW2b_x
      CommentAuthorMrsW2b_x
      Posted: Apr 23rd 2014
     
    On the downside- she said not having her there was unacceptable lol
    Got my hen do June- can't wait for that as she's meant to be there... A weekend at a cottage in Wales- the joys.
    Just kind of waiting for her to kick off when she finds out about today's discussions (which she will) xxx
  21.  
    • Showgirl
      CommentAuthorShowgirl
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Apr 23rd 2014
      BadgeBadge
     
    looking forward to the update already. At least MIL now knows what is going on and can help reign her in a little.
  22.  
    • AH86
      CommentAuthorAH86
      Posted: Apr 23rd 2014
      Ticker backgroundTicker foreground
     


    Good work for taking some action... Same... Can't wait to hear how that goes! Good luck! X

    Members signature icon
    Friday 10th April 2015
    Marrying my best friend
    Not long now :D
  23.  
    • MrsW2b_x
      CommentAuthorMrsW2b_x
      Posted: May 5th 2014
     
    Haha just to update you all- psycho SIL has dropped out of my hen! (She hasn't told me my other sis in law let slip) is it wrong that I'm happy with this result?! H2B is currently debating whether to tell her she's not welcome at wedding as she's been out of order and doesn't want us feeling uncomfortable- I'm staying out of this as I don't want him to make a decision like this on my bad feelings towards her. As she's his sister, I feel it's his choice to make xx
  24.  
    • Showgirl
      CommentAuthorShowgirl
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: May 5th 2014
      BadgeBadge
     
    Result!! Hope you enjoy your hen do in peace.
    I think you're right to keep out of it and let H2B make this decision himself.
 
Enter Now