Wedding Forum - The in laws!!...

Hi, I'm a newbie!

I need to rant- I feel like I have nobody to talk to who will understand or listen except my fiancée and it's his sister who's the problem!
Basically she's a cow!!!
When we booked; we asked her to be bridesmaid and she accepted. At this point, she offered to
Do my wedding day hair as she's a qualified hairdresser- I accepted gratefully. This was September last year. She was involved in my dress shopping, looking for her dress, my hairstyle... I never asked her to Do anything. A few weeks ago she messaged me being really mean saying that she's sick of me, the wedding and of me getting her to do my *hit. My fiancée spoke to her to try and clear up any confusion. Three weeks later- nothing. I was in the process of looking for BM dresses and flowers so sent her a long but friendly message asking how she felt about being bridesmaid (knowing that she wasn't interested). She said She didn't care and probably wouldn't have time. On top of this she said I was being a pain about my hair and she hadn't planned on doing trials- apparently I'm being a princess and should know what I want!! She said she refused to do that too. Fine- At least I knew. So I ordered my BM dresses (two friends) and we were discussing the other day in Facebook - as you do- nothing specific just about alterations on an unrelated post. Suddenly the mental cow has decided she's angry with me because I'm a b*tch as I haven't ordered her a dress?!?! She's told her mom that I haven't spoken to her about it and she had to find out on Facebook. She's 39!! What she isn't banking on- I have kept all the messages and the reason I haven't shown her mom is because she's slagging her off on the messages. I feel like I have no choice but to prove I'm in the right but in doing so I'm going to Upset mil who already dislikes me.
She went round telling other family members who hadn't yet received invites that they weren't invited (theirs were in the post- hers hand delivered!) and then had a go at me saying how dare you not invite my brother and sister. As if I would do that?!!

Luckily my fiancée knows what's gone on but I just feel so put out!
What is wrong with people?! I genuinely feel like she's trying to Ruin this for me.

It sounds like you're better off keeping your distance from her. You might need to let your fiancé smooth things over with your mil and any other family members on his side that sil has upset. It doesn't sound like they'll listen to your side of the story.

I wouldn't order a dress for someone who was rude to me. I'd tell her where to go, and not rely on her for anything at all.

If your FMIL says something to you then I wouldn't hesitate in letting her see those messages - her daughter was the one being nasty not you. At least you fiance knows the score and can weigh in if needs be.
Is she/has she been married herself? Does she normally thrive of drama or is this a bit out of the blue?

Maybe you are best off keeping your distance and letting your fiancé deal with them as they are his family and especially if you feel disliked by them already. He knows whole story and truth too so if it were me I would carry on planning without her as bridesmaid and doing what you're doing as they will soon get the invites etc and realise they are wrong there. I wouldn't give them anymore ammunition. Just get him to deal with it and until it's re solved and they apologise (he should tell him what a hard time you are having and how they have made it unnecEssarily difficult) I would scrub at least her off of the list completely.

Good luck hun x

Thanks for all of your replies, I felt like I was going crazy or overreacting!
She has never been married and is single. She seems very bitter - in a way I feel sorry for her but refuse to have our special day ruined.

Don't seem to be getting anywhere - tried to be nice all the way through but she just keeps throwing more at me. H2B is being amazing and has said he'd rather her not come but I'm worried about the in-law backlash this will create!

I love the guest-zilla creation! This is so true, everyone seems to want thir needs considering. I'm so angry with a lot of people though all of this!

On the plus side, I have 2 bridesmaids, 2 dresses & have booked a professional hairdresser for the day so I won't be getting done over!

Thanks again all :) - sometimes you just need to vent xx

Oh dear....no wonder she's single and never been married if she acts like that especially at 39!! I'd tell her where to go and enjoy the day without her x

Haha guestzillas yh tell her where to go she's a grown woman for goodness sake why does wedding planning bring out the worst in people and they all seem to think they have a say in it

love you Carla

Slapping her is so tempting!
Update- my h2b spoke to the MIl earlier, who alleges she had no idea about any of this. She also
Said that I was in the right not to order the nutjob a BM dress & seems to agree with us! Result

looking forward to the update already. At least MIL now knows what is going on and can help reign her in a little.

Haha just to update you all- psycho SIL has dropped out of my hen! (She hasn't told me my other sis in law let slip) is it wrong that I'm happy with this result?! H2B is currently debating whether to tell her she's not welcome at wedding as she's been out of order and doesn't want us feeling uncomfortable- I'm staying out of this as I don't want him to make a decision like this on my bad feelings towards her. As she's his sister, I feel it's his choice to make xx