This is a bit of a rant...we've had a problem with the way that some of h2b's family are reading the wording in our invitations!! The invitation says:
Dear.........................................
Together with their families,
Caitlin Elizabeth & Daniel Thomas INvite you to join the celebration of their marriage.. bla bla bla.
Now. Most people have read it as written. Some of h2b's family have merged their handwritten names with the first line so it looks as though we're saying "Dear......... together with their families. Caitlin...etc etc." We've had 2 voicemails, one from h2b's great aunt saying "we're rsvping yes - I;ve invited my daughter and her new boyfriend too." and one from h2b's step-grandmother saying "we're rsvping yes...is it alright if I also bring all 8 of your cousins?!"
We've spoken to the great aunt and apparently it's imperative she uses our wedding as some kind of bonding session with her daughter as the daughter has somewhat drifted away from the family. No thanks. Our hands are tied though as h2b's grandparents are insisting, and offered to pay so we've had to do some major reshuffling and now it's sorted. I think. As for step-gran, we've told her we're just inviting the cousins to the evening and she seems happy enough. My family think they're all absolutely bonkers for misreading it in the first place!!!
Now though, because we've made room for these two cousins of h2b's...my mum phoned me in tears last night asking why we hadn't invited her best friend to the whole day (she's invited to the ceremony and the evening). I HATE families. We should have eloped!
Has anyone else had a problem with people misreading the invites?! Or is it just h2b's family that need putting down. Grrrr.
I can't wait to marry the love of my life - 28/04/2012
OCD Bride - it's all in the details!
CommentAuthorLittle Kettle
Blimey! That's utter madness!!! How can people mis-read that and...well...I'm stunned. I think you've been very accomodating - more so than I would have been! It's beside the point that they're willing to pay for the additional people. It's YOUR wedding and you invited who you wanted there, to share in your day and to celebrate your love for each other. Can you put your foot down or is it too late now?
Vegas baby!
Moderator
CommentAuthormadhen
ok that's a bit special cuz it was completely obvious to me when i read it that that's not what you meant!! fair play to you for fitting them in that's all i can say. but def not your fault for syntax, just some people a little bit silly it would seem...
CommentAuthorStevie_Dee
Ouch I think people will read it the way they want to read it. I just hope for your sake it ends at just those who have already replied, otherwise you may end up with a very full venue.
I have a gorgeous husband!
2 brilliant wonderful boys, a wonderful life
in Cornwall. Happiest woman ever!
Now making our house a home. Blessing 2014.
Reading it thorough its obvious what you meant and cannot see how they took it to mean they can invite their whole families. xx
Now a Mrs!
"..I've seen the best and the worst of you and I understand
with perfect clarity exactly what you are. You're a hell of
of a woman. You're the one..."
CommentAuthorMrsCaitiClarke
If anyone else phones and says that then I'm taking out a hit on them! My family was aghast that it had been misconstrued like that!
H2B tried to put his foot down last night but his grandparents seeme to believe that this is the appropriate venue for family bonding. Sigh. H2b's met the daughter once (she's in her 40's) at her first wedding...this new fella is a different bloke that none of us have met! The grandparents are insisting though, and since they've given us our honeymoon as a gift we sort of feel obligated.
I'm so glad it's not just me though ladies - I thought it wasn't possible to read that wrong!
I can't wait to marry the love of my life - 28/04/2012
OCD Bride - it's all in the details!
CommentAuthormadhen
oh dear, i guess if they've given you honeymoon you can't really say anything...still such a bizarre situation to find yourself in!!
CommentAuthorJennaLouise
Oh dear! Hope you don't get anymore dingbats reading your invite in what's clearly the WRONG way!! It was obvious to me what you meant. Lol, some people! GL hon xx
CommentAuthornatalie2614
How can they read that wrong! Its obvious to me how it should be read and they are clearly stupid or, they've just seen an opportunity and seized it to invite more people! Good luck with your dilema x x
Married my best friend 05.04.2013
CommentAuthorShirleygirly
I'm glad you posted this because we were going to have something similar but now I think we will alter the wording. We're already having to upset friends by putting them on the evening list instead of the all day, I don't want any more upset and confusion. x
I can't wait until 29/06/2013
The day I marry the man of my dreams!
CommentAuthorFuture Mrs Doublé
I have put number of guests invited in RSVP card so they cant invite other people, as my venue can only sit that many anyway. good luck and congrats for putting with this so nicely
Soon to be Mrs Gary Doublé
Everything is now booked
Getting really stressed and excited now
CommentAuthorbecky -mrs firth
i think all the people including ure mum askin for people to be invited are extremely rude!!!! i wud tell them no way! i wudnt let cousins cum cos they want to bond! nay a weddin aint about other people bonded just u 2!
Engaged 27th November 2010
Hen Do Newcastle 2nd June 2012
Marrying the man of my dreams 11th August 2012!
Honeymoon To Jamaica 14th October 2012
CommentAuthorKate_B
Eek - we've got the same wording 'together with their familes, steve and kate invite you to blah blah blah...' I just automatically assumed people would understand it as it reads - hoping none of our relatives etc mis-interpret it but then there's nothing we can do about it now i guess and just wait and see what the responses back are...
CommentAuthorClareS
I can see where they've got the misunderstanding from due to the spacing but I'd take it as only thepoeple who you'd addressed it to were invited. If it didn't say my little lad's name for instance I wouldn't be taking him. Good luck and hope you don't get any more numbers added x
CommentAuthorMrsCaitiClarke
I hoped that's how it would be interpreted! On our online rsvp though, it states the name of each guest and doesn't allow you to add any so I hope that people will rsvp properly (rather than leaving me endless voicemails) and see their mistake! It IS rude, and very annoying. But all we can do is wait for replies now! Ours all went out over the weekend so fingers crossed! The only ones it makes a big difference on are our wedding breakfast guests. The evening ones are less stressful!
Thanks for the luck - if anyone else does this you'll see me on the news jumping off something. X
I can't wait to marry the love of my life - 28/04/2012
OCD Bride - it's all in the details!
CommentAuthormadhen
oh no! fingers crossed for you and Kate_B!!
CommentAuthorTsukijin
They're doing it deliberately. They know exactly how it reads, they are just trying to find loopholes to turn it into their own social gathering.
I nipped this " can xyz come" in the bud because people really do take the p. If they haven't received an invite, they're not invited ^_^
Sorry to sound cynical lol I can't stand people hijacking guest lists! Xxx
eru, shiteiru ka? shinigami wa ringo shika tabenai?
^_^
CommentAuthorMrsCaitiClarke
Tsukijin that's what I thought tbh. Our wedding is the next big family event and his great aunt actually said as much, and that this would be the perfect opportunity to try and get her daughter to connect more with the family. Don't use my wedding day like therapy!!!!!!
I'm not impressed but absolutely stumped as to how to deal with it. I had a big rant on my phone to my Grandpa (who is amazing) and he just said "tell them to all go hang, it's your day, your way."
I can't wait to marry the love of my life - 28/04/2012
OCD Bride - it's all in the details!
CommentAuthorTsukijin
I like your grandad!
How about sending pretend place cards with just the names of the people invited and see what the response is?
If you just leave it you will end up either trying to shuffle before the wedding or having loads of banquo's at your banquet with nowhere to sit and nothing to eat. More fool them though
eru, shiteiru ka? shinigami wa ringo shika tabenai?
^_^
CommentAuthorLittleMissBossy
I am so sorry Caitlin but this made me smile big time. First of all what a refreshing thread title amongst all the samey and often misspelled ones!
I don't think I could have misread it but when I started reading your post it was obvious what was misread the minute I read "together with their families". But no matter how confusing it may be to some - who in the right mind thinks they can take 8 people along? I would have understood if a family thought it includes their children. But not Nanny and all her grandchildren :-))
You have been very accommodating and I hope that's the end of mishaps for you now!
It’s so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life....
CommentAuthorMrsCaitiClarke
Oh I love the Shakespeare reference. A woman after my own heart. We're hoping the individual rsvp forms will send a clear message. Got to try and speak to mil2b tonight and see what she reckons.
I like my grandad too - he's about the only sane one among them! Steers well clear unless his opinion is sought, shoulder to cry on and generally takes no nonsense!
I can't wait to marry the love of my life - 28/04/2012
OCD Bride - it's all in the details!
CommentAuthorMrsCaitiClarke
Thanks Pia - I thought the title was a bit of a change. The misspelled ones cause me pain!
I know the issue with granny and her 8 offspring has been addressed - thank goodness. It's not great aunt, her daughter and the boyfriend of the moment! X
I can't wait to marry the love of my life - 28/04/2012
OCD Bride - it's all in the details!
CommentAuthorLittleMissBossy
It is lovely to grow up in a big family - but becomes a pain at weddings!
So far I was lucky with people hijacking my guest list. Only h2bs sister (best woman) asked if we could invite her fiancees parents. She's not good at social gatherings and hoped she can introduce them to the family under the shelter of a big gathering where she has duties. Sneaky but she was very accepting when we said no :-)
It’s so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life....
CommentAuthorTsukijin
Good and anyone else that "misreads" will have the wonderful task of uninviting those they extended their invites to!
eru, shiteiru ka? shinigami wa ringo shika tabenai?
^_^
CommentAuthorMrsCaitiClarke
Exactamondo Tsukijin! X
I can't wait to marry the love of my life - 28/04/2012
OCD Bride - it's all in the details!
CommentAuthormadhen
ooh that wouldn't be nice! serves them right though!
CommentAuthorBridezilla
Even if you can read it two ways, if you apply just a tiny pinch of common sense, it's obvious that you would not be inviting a random number of people to your wedding. If you had truly addressed it to X and Y plus their families, you would have absolutely no idea how many people they consider "family", and how many to cater for. Who on the planet would deliberately make an open invitation to their wedding? Nobody, obviously...
CommentAuthorBridezilla
edited
To be honest, I would not have been as accommodating as you with the people who had misunderstood the invitation. I would have said "sorry, you have read it differently from how it was meant" and had them un-invite the additional guests. I mean, really - didn't they think it a little odd that you seemed to be sending open invitations? You'd have thought they'd have checked with you BEFORE inviting others...wouldn't you?
CommentAuthormadhen
Good point - most people would have had the sense to do that. If you received an invitation yourself that seemed to suggest you could bring a whole posse with you you'd sort of wonder a bit...!
CommentAuthorBridezilla
Yes, I certainly would. And I wouldn't want to embarrass myself by bringing a bunch of people with me only to find that they weren't invited after all. I'd definitely have checked first to avoid making myself look like a fool :)
CommentAuthorJilly17
They mis read it because they wanted to in order to take advantage of the situation. It seemed clear to me but as I did invites as a business in the past, nothing suprises me anymore and I take nothing for granted so wording was always bullet proof!
CommentAuthortinkerbell2013
oh god poor u girls, my partner is designing our invites im gona have to proof read the words, before they get sent out we can only have so many, dont want more turning up :( GL girls hope everything sorts its self out for u x
Finally Engaged 1/11/11
Loves my h2b and my son charlie 2 the moon and back
cant wait till we finally arrive at the big day
May 2013
CommentAuthorMrsCaitiClarke
I've said to h2b that if people show up on the day that aren't on the guest list that they are to be politely escorted to the bar, told their mistake, and be invited to join us for the evening later on. I'm not having any extra stress and hassle!
I also think they're taking advantage of a "family occasion" to play happy familes. Actually...it's not a reunion it's our wedding day?! We'd also thought if there was any confusion then people would contact us but evidently not. Not impressed at all. X
I can't wait to marry the love of my life - 28/04/2012
OCD Bride - it's all in the details!
CommentAuthormadhen
That's a good plan! I wouldn't worry though, I'd say most people know perfectly well and some are just chancing their arms!
