Ok so i posted quite a while back asking you lovely lot what you thought about a 'sweetheart table'... for those unsure what it is, its where the bride and groom sit together for the meal at the top and blend the family into the table plan. its more an american tradtion. I love the idea of spending that small time together and having our 'first meal' together as bride and groom.
But hey ho... because it is out of the norm... family members have started to kick off.
My mum thinks the idea is 'stupid'... and quoted ' we will just have to party without you'... lovely i know! she is the main reason we wanted a sweetheart table, i am all about having even numbers for a top table and because my mum is twice divorced and currently single she has no one to sit next to her. whilst my fiances parents are still married.
we didnt plan on telling my fiances parents till the day because we knew they would also kick off... but me and my big mouth it slipped out, and his poor mums face was a picture! she was clearly unhappy with the idea.
I feel more for his mum because his sister is planning her wedding also but we all are doubting is whether it will actually happen and this could be the only time she ever has a chance to sit at the top table and celebrate her sons wedding.
I know the wedding is about us, but i really dont want to take that chance away from her.
argghhhhh its so blinking stressfull!!
CommentAuthorMrsH-2B
I totally get where you're coming from with regards to MiL.. And also the even numbers... My MiL passed away before we got together and I have had to be very careful with the top table as obviously there will be a person missing..
Is there anyone you could promote to top table such as a sibling or close cousin and just sit your mum on the end of H2Bs side if you're not up for putting up with her ? It is of course tradition for his family to sit next to you and yours next to him :-) xxx
I can't wait to become his Wife :-) <3
4th July 2015 <3
CommentAuthorCamillaB
i literally have no family... no aunties uncles cousins... which is annoying! if we do have a top table i was thinking of (in no order) me, hubby, his mum n dad, best man, my mum, two brothers or bridesmaid and whoever maybe my mums plus one? its so awkward for my side!
then my mum pipes up saying i dont want to sit next to my 2 sons!.. its like FFS!!!.. lol
CommentAuthorDanni13
Seems like a great idea doesnt it unti lyou see how gutted people are!
We had the same discussion, but its the opposite way around for us, my parents are together and his are divorced (each have partners, but FIL has been with his wife 20years...so its difficult!)
I approached it with my parents, and my dad (who usually goes with the flow and his happy with most things) said " Well, Im sitting next to you. Aren't I?" With the saddest look on his face. So obvs I couldnt say no after that. And it did occur to me, I want my parents both to be next to me when were doing speeches etc, rather than us on our own. So its back to the top table dilemma..and it potentially being uneven... but hey ho.
I think 'in this day and age' people have come to expect non-traditional weddings, but some aspects are still very close to peoples hearts. This being one of them.
Hope you come to a conclusion that suits everyone! xx
CommentAuthor~Beauty&TheBeast2Be~
I love the idea of a sweetheart table, it's lovely! First meal and all that jazz, and the photos would be gorgeous, little candles, my imaginations running wild now!
Could you have your meal together, then move to a bigger table for the speeches? Lets be honest, the only reason we all sit together is for the speeches to all be in one place. A nice compromise? x
We had me, him our best man and my grandad on our table. We then had a table for his family, table for mine and then 3 fruiends tables. They all took our decision fine.
Word of Warning Though: Sitting there on the sweetheart table, I did feel like an observer at my own wedding because everyone else was having a good chinwag etc on round tables whilst we were on an oblong one.
I really did marry my Mr Wright and we had a nice day for a
Wright wedding!
Mexico for our first anniversary <3
CommentAuthorMrsH-2B
Ahhh nightmare !! Maybe say it in the way to your MiL that she's hosting their own table ? Would that make her feel better ??
I can understand where she's coming from in a way, but tbh, it's not as if you're bumping her off it for someone else.. Literally no one would be sat with you.. And the table plan isn't the most important thing of the day, everyone knows he's her son, a position at a table doesn't change that...
If I was in your position I'd say to her you'd love her to host her own table and just have your sweetheart table.. You can't please everyone and having your mum on your top table sounds like itd put a downer on your day... Xxx
I can't wait to become his Wife :-) <3
4th July 2015 <3
CommentAuthorCamillaB
Danni13 - i think the top table is probably a tradition that will never change, and when u seen the family who are heart broken when we want different it really does make you think about keeping atleast one tradition.
MrsWright - i think thats what my mum means by having a sweetheart table, watching everyone chat and just being the observer, its nice to hear others who have done the same.
MrsH-2b - I think for his mum its all or nothing... ggrr lol
Thank you for your advice guys!... It has deff made me think more about whether to have a top table or not, I can feel a top table will please everyone, and if my mum doesnt like who she is sitting by well its tuff..
CommentAuthorBeckyU98
personally i think you should do whatever you want to do. but i want a top table as im looking forward to sitting next to my parents on the day so that i get to spend some time with them as no doubt everyone else will steal us all day. my parents are divorced and my dad is remarried so i had an uneven number on the top table. so i asked my MOH's boyfriend to come and sit on top table - this way my numbers are even and he doesnt have to sit on his own.
if you want to stick with your sweetheart table you could always ask the parents to host their own table and even have table names rather than numbers x
CommentAuthorkrissy905
we are having a sweet heart table I have no parents alive any more so getting a top table to look balance would be very hard
CommentAuthorWhovianbride
edited
If you want a sweetheart table you have one hun! We are not having a sweet heat table but not having a traditional top table either, fmil and fil will be on seperate table, my mum will be on a seperate table, moh will be on seperate table as shes got a young family, there is goung to be me, hubby, best man, bridesmaid, couple of his cousins and couple of mine! On a round table not rectangle
Met June 2009 on my Birthday,Met again July 2009 and got
together, May 2010 Moved in,Jan 2011 got pregnant,
August 2011 Got our own place, 2011 Had our Baby Girl,
Dec 2011 Got engaged, July 2015 Getting married! Yay!
CommentAuthorValentinaK
Tough one - It's nice the idea of having a sweetheart table, but it can also look really swamped by the other tables. You can be political about it all and stick a bridesmaid next to your mum to help balance things out a bit. However you could also not put the best man up there or the MOH to help keep numbers balanced.
However, your seating plan should not be dictated to by your parents and parents in law to be so do what you want and explain why tactfully - they may not like it 100% but they'll probably accept it... and seriously... if they fall out over that... you know at least you've got bigger things to prepare for in the future!
