OMG x 10000!! I've just given up on this chuffing wedding, like REALLY given up this time and am now washing my hands of the entire planning process (It's been a rough fortnight)

Dean (Best Man, Ross' brother) came home from the US a couple of weeks ago - good news is he's allowed the time off to come home for the wedding which is great. Dean has also decided in his infinite wisdom that our choice of photographer isn't what he'd have picked for himself and put an offer on the table "If you use my friend as your photographer then I'll pay for it as your wedding present" Erm, no - we chose who we chose for a jolly good reason, his work is second to none, he's booked up anything up to 3 years in advance and he's asked to do weddings all over the world, Dean's mate is some small time nobody with a digital camera and to be quite frank my little Honey takes better pictures than him. After I initially blew my lid at Ross he went back to Dean and said "Thanks for the offer but Kerry and I still want Damian to do it, would you be willing to put the fee of your friend into what we've already booked?" This was met with "I said I'd pay for Xande, I never said I'd put the money into your photographer"
Thanks for eff all then Dean *grrrrr*To cap it off he's picked up some bint on his travels around New York and apparently she's moving to Oregon with him next month and he's said to his mum "I hope they're inviting her too, I'd be awfully upset if they didn't" Erm, hang on, none of the family have met her yet (though she's coming over this Friday) we have no idea if this is going to last or whether Dean did his usual trick of finding a regular sh@g and she's gone all bunny boiler on him or what's going on yet we're expected to invite her to keep Dean happy - sounds really selfish of me I know but we've already had to make allowances for Ross' family to keep the peace and I don't appreciate Dean holding a loaded gun to my head like this.

Then there's the MIL (yup, her again LOL) She's bent FIL's ear to put some money towards the wedding and bless his heart, he's agreed, so I asked Ross to suss out what they were wanting to help with. Apparently it's "bad enough" that we're having our reception at the local sports club without subjecting the guests to mine & my mother's catering - excuse me, my mum is a trained chef (trained by none other than Marco Pierre White ffs) and so am I <insert rant about my MIL being the snidest moo on the planet> FIL suggested writing a cheque and letting us decide what it should be spent on - this isn't good enough apparently and the money MUST go towards catering or she'll retract the offer of help *grrrrrr*

Then my mum's playing at awkward beggars again. She had a chat with my brother last week and we've gone back to "I don't want to make the cake but I'll buy one for you" That in itself is great but she's now using that as an excuse to dictate what sort of cake we have and she's even gone as far as to tell Thomas (my bro) that he's under no circumstances to offer to make the cake we'd set our hearts on. Anyway, I had an epic tantrum and told her to do whatever the f*** she wanted as we're obviously not allowed a say in it. As if I wasn't foaming enough during that conversation with her she's now 'doubting' whether or not she's capable of doing my hair on the day - the style I'd like entails of whacking some rollers in to make it ringlety, that's it. I wouldn't mind BUT my mum has been a hairdresser for over 30 years - doubting her own abilities? Can't be ar5ed more like :( THEN she started having a pop at me for Thomas doing my bridal make up, something to do with him being incapable of doing it - what she's chosen to forget is that my darling brother passed the bridal hair and make up course at college the top of his class and out of all the students the examiner had seen over 5 years Thomas was by far and large the best artist they'd seen.

In amidst all this I have Ross who has,well, decided that it's probably easier to turn what was supposed to be our dream day into some utter farce to keep both sets of parents happy. I've worked on this wedding tirelessly for the past year to make it what WE want on a budget we CAN afford, to keep everyone else happy means no wedding because we can't afford it, nor would we ever be able to plus it isn't going to be what we wanted.

I've got a dress, I've got a Church and providing I don't stove his head in I've got a Groom - beyond that I'm not interested in any of it anymore and unless something gives somewhere and it gives quick then everything else is getting cancelled. I just don't need this cr@p, everyone has been more than happy to leave me to organise everything but been so quick to judge when something isn't quite what they envisaged so the lot of them can go f***, if they want a party with a cake and a disco and whatever else then they can effing well organise it.

I'm due to give birth in 8 weeks, I need all this wedding rubbish like I need a hole in my head :(
XXX

Ooooh why do other people always make things difficult for us hey?
Try and ignore them all (easier said than done I know).
Hope people start making life easier for you x

aw hun big hugs to u u need to chill out it wont be doin u or the little baba any good its ur day u should have there who u want and it done the way u like and other people should respect that,and i think its u that should decide on things as its ur n ross day not parents hope this all gets sorted chic big hugs to u n relax xx

gosh, it hurt my head reading all of that! you certainly have alot to deal with and things can be ten times harder when you are pregnant. i think you are right to have a rest from all things "wedding" and concentrate on you. everyone is being unbelievably selfish, i think you need to stand your ground and tell them to back off.x

yep tell them all to screw it just now and enjoy the last few weeks of your pregnancy. Take a break.

- but you are very lucky to have such a talented family! I would love it if I had a chef, hairdresser and bridal make up artist in my family. So count your chickens in that respect.

but you need a break hun, before it breaks you! x

oh it seems like you are getting it from all sides. big hug. I am sure things will get better soon.

aww hun, def focus on u and ur baby for now you dont need this stress at all.

They all need to know its your day and that if it makes u and h2b happy than that is all that matters xx

aww honey im so sorry your not have a good time atm. ithink you should stop planning until after the baby is born You dont need this kind of stress that heavily pregnant. Im lucky that my mum hasnt really dictated too much as shes paying for a bit. Even though she told me to sell my dress after and she wants half of it even though she said she'd buy me a dress up to 1000. I might just end up giving her a couple of hundred so i can keep it. I wish all the best and hope it gets 2000000 x better :) x

Oh hun you are definately not alone - i agree with your friend. if I had my time over again i would run off. My H2b always wanted the white wedding but even he said the other day I wish we had run off.

Firstly, what you have to do is be firm but polite and say 'thanks for your input but WE would like this and this is what WE are going to have. if you would like something different then plan your own wedding / vow renewal. This is our day and WE will have what WE would like.' end it with a cheesy smile and they normally get the hint lol

I would love to say ours has gotten less stressful but I have absolutely hated the planning stages. Everyone keeps telling me the day will be great - all I can say is it bloody better be! lol

Keep your cool and dont let them get to you

xx

bloody hell hun you poor thing! i hope you sort everything out xx

i have learnt that i can please everyone so i stopped trying! now i say its my day i will do it how i want! lol its the only way i stop getting worried about things! like u said u got the 3 most important things xxxx

aww hun, all this stress is just no good for you! i would maybe leave all the wedding stuff till after the baby is born, and see if people have quietened down a bit.

it can't be easy, but try to talk to your mum about how you feel. she might get it if you tell her without the two of you fighting.
good luck whatever you do.
xx

bloody hell !!!! sounds like youve had more than your fair share of crap over the past week , please keep your self calm for your baby's sake
im sure evreything will come right on the day ! xxxxxx

Just focus on you hun don't worry about what everyone else is doing your gonna have a wonderful bundle of joy in a few weeks & given how far gone you are let that be your main priority for now. You'll have plenty of time to plan the wedding once your little one is born. If anyone says anything just ignore them and if you feel the need to say anything back just tell them your focusing on you and will discuss it once the baby is born. Big hugs xx

Ah hun im so sorry to hear everyone is sniping at you. Do it your way and be happy with it who cares what they want you shouldnt but i know its hard not to care. As you say you have everything and plenty of time left to plan. Tell them you dont want to hear anything else about the wedding til you bring it up as right now all you and h2B want to concentrate on is having your gorgeous baby and enjoying the time you will have when he/she arrives.
x x x x

Hello Kerry .... I'm BAAAACK! lol and OMG!! what the hell has been going on with you?? FFS, I leave for a week and you have all this crap :( Makes my bridesmaid dilemma seem like a pebble in a pond.
Sending you LOTS of Hugs and I'll email you later when I've got some peace ... kiss kiss xx

KAYE!! THANK GOD YOU'RE BACK!!! Yup, can't turn your back on me for more than 5 minutes without it all going posterior over mammories :D Look forward to catching up, you'll have to fill me in on your loony SIL2B!! Love n hugs n stuff *smooooooooooch* xxx

Suzi, that almost sounds like my dream wedding, but I'd have to take the kids, couldn't do it without them. Might have to give Ross the puppy eyes later ;) xxx