Hey all! I need a bit of advice about H2B's stag do.

H2b's best man keeps mentioning strippers for the stag do despite being told time and time again "don't you dare" Gavin (H2B) really does not want to go to a strip club because he's never been interested and feels that he would be severly uncomfortable as my dad and 2 older brothers would be going. I think that his BM (who I count as one of my friends) might be winding us up but I'm worried that maybe he isn't or might do it as a (very bad) joke. It's not that I don't trust Gavin it's just I know he would be gutted if it did happen. Do you have any suggestions on how to deal with this and have any of you had a similar situation? xxx

well if H2B and you have both said very firm "NO"'s, and given your reasons for it, and the best man still goes ahead and drags him to a strip club, why the heck is he the best man??

I would hope he is winding you up, and it actually respecting your wishes

i wouldnt worry as people have said if he knows that your h2b really doesnt want a stripper then i would think he is winding you up! he wouldnt jepordise (sp) the friendshipa nd the chance of being best man over something like this would he? especially not in front of you fil and bils xx

If the BM is your friend then you should be able to have a chat with him about it yeah? I would anyway, I'd say "all jokes aside mate, neither me or the h2b wants strippers at the stag, and if there is there will be consequences, aside from my hurt feelings"
If he's an alright lad he'll get the message and leave it

hubby to be needs to check with him and lay down the law and make it perfectly clear that its not what he wants. I have told my girls that if they get me a male stripper I will walk out as am not being embarasssed.... the concept of wasting their money has put them off 100% as they are not the cheapest. He cant get dragged to a strip club either so he will be fine there, just make sure they are not hiring him one

I'm sure if he really doesnt want to go, he won't... and it doesnt sound like he'd enjoy it much if he did anyway! I wouldn't worry - concentrate on your hen, and trust him :) If the BM is your friend, you could always have a quiet word with him and make it clear how you feel - it's likely he's only winding you up anyways! x

Thats how i feel nicole.

H2B said last night he would feel embarrassed saying he doesn't want to go. So he will probably end up going to which I replied that if he does he will have deliberately done something he knows I'm not happy about and I will have to think about whether or not I want to be with someone like that...he laughed at me lol I can't win this win i don't think

Just explain that as your family are there it would be uncomfortable!
I used to work in a pub and we had loads of stag do's, believe me I would not be worried about strippers, most of the men just turned their backs and carried on talking, there's no suprise factor anymore and you can probably see naked women most nights on the television!

I think strippers for hen do's or stag nights are an absolute no no!! I can't see what the entertainment factor would be myself and I do see these people who strip as, well, desperate as I can think of so many other ways to earn an honest living.
My h2b isn't interested and neither are his friends, they are all family men and don't need nor want to see a stranger strip.

mandyhoyle is right, strippers maybe one thing you're not happy about but there are so many women that will be trying it on if they go to a normal club! I'm going to the gay quarter to make sure there's no harassment from any guys trying to get with the hens lol

Aww hun lol I wouldnt mind if h2b went to a strip club - he's not the type to but his BM would love it and h2b would go for a laugh (although he'd deny it). I'm cool with that - he'd be more stressed about it, feel completely uncomfortable and even if he did have a look - it'll be the last time he'll be seeing any bare boobies apart from mine lol

I wouldnt worry about it - at the end of the day, even if he was dragged kicking and screaming, you've said he wouldnt enjoy himself, and even if he did, how uncomfortable would it be for him with your dad and big brothers in tow lol eeeeeeeeeeeeeek!

I've already said to my MOH that I dont want a stripper, I love a stripper arriving for someone elses hen night so I can watch the hen squirm but naked men are not beautiful and the thought of a lunchbox jiggling too close to my face is not appealing lol x

Well said Clive!!!

Not only that, but women in general really do take the blinkered view that men seems to go to a strip club with some ulterior motive. Fact remains, that there is no right or wrong to strippers. fact is they are out there and while they are out there people (men and women)will do see them.

Mrs S x

Never been to a strip club and don't find a strange man - no matter how good looking - gyrating his parts at me. I'll pass.

I know someone who was kissed by stripper having a private dance in back room, and the stripper got sacked for giving her number out and the kissing x

As I said each to their own. What works for one will not work for another but it's when people sit back in judgement because they have a different opinion on something. Everyone has a right to say what they want ( well within reason coz I don't condone bullying) but to turn around and make out that I don't let my h2b go out and have fun or calling people ridiculous because they do not think it's ok for their partners to go behind their backs and do something they know they aren't happy with it's just not on. Btw Cheryl just so there isn't a misunderstanding I'm not on about you hun! And it's brilliant that you are happy enough within yourself to feel that you don't mind whether or not he went but unfortunately I cannot say the same about myself. As I said to Gav before it's not him I don't trust it's the women around him! And I'm a selfish cow that wants him all to myself mwahahaha!

Soon2bMrsS - dont worry hun i repsect tht people have completly different views on these things and no offence was taken at all! x

PS the word that was starred out was the word for 'adult films'

I don't think there's anything wrong with strip clubs tbh. H2b used to go occasionally with his mates before he met me (birthdays etc). He's told me that they're not really that seedy like everyone seems to think - and a few weeks ago whilst on a night out together, we saw the free hummer that picks people up and takes them to clubs. His face was a picture because I flagged it down and decided to take him to a strip club.

The drinks are so expensive there, but we were left to chat ourselves, with just a couple of women coming over to chat while we were there. H2b did get a 'private' dance while we were there - but it cost double because I went in the booth as well lol. The poor girl looked more embarrassed than us because it was her first 'couples' dance lol.

Nothing goes on there. No one is allowed to touch the girls, and tbh it's a ridiculous price for about 2 minutes!!! Afterwards h2b agreed that he thinks he's outgrown going there now. In fact, his dad wanted to organise a stag night and go there but he didn't want to (especially with his dad lol). In fact he wasn't even bothered about a stag and didn't bother.

As for strippers - I've never been to see one and tbh they don't really do it for me. I think they're a bit tacky tbh but that's just my opinion. A room full of half cut women screaming when some poser gets his kit off isn't really my idea of fun. I'm broad minded and will do most things (that definitely sounds wrong lol) - but that's definitely not for me.

I hate strip clubs now I am getting married. When me and my partner first got together we went to a strip club together because we live in a really small town and there are 3 places to drink after 12am. 1 is a terrible nightclub full of neds which costs a tenner the second is a terrible nightclub full of kids and the third is a strip club. It was the first time Id ever been in one. The girls walked around in teddys or bras n pants, none walked about naked. The pole dance show thing they didnt strip either. You only saw them naked if you got a private dance. They were ALL MINGING! I am not just saying this. They really were an ugly bunch of wee neds (some where quite fat actually)

The problem is my fiance used to go there after work(he worked in a bar) so he could sit and have a drink(with other folk from work including girls). I dont know if he really did want to see the girls but my man used to drink. Too much if you know what I mean and he could sit and get drunk there without anyone noticing. He has been tee total for over 2 years now and we barely go to a pub but it still bothers me that he spent time there, so I totally understand what you mean. I know for sure that he wont be having a stripper at his stag because he wants to go camping up north with the boys.

Its weird though, I never cared about strippers and I used to be quite liberal about sex in general but since Ive been with my man I am a massive jealous wreck. I hate being like this though. Try not to worry about it or try and suggest that they go paintballing or something where they cant get strippers so you know for sure. If its going to upset you then you should sit him down and say that. Just say to him that you understand his best man might be winding you up but if he goes to a strip club you would feel very hurt and your not being a stick in the mud, it would just make you feel really bad and thats not fair.

Sorry for the epic reply. I have a total bee in my bonnet about strip clubs (and exs and girls he used to fancy...:-/)

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You're right @mandyhoyle, my fiances aquaintance (who is a horrible seedy wee man) has had "dealings" with a stripper in said club we were in. No money exchanged hands but lets just say the "no touching" rule was well and truly broken. He touched exactly what he wanted. BUT this is probably because of the small town horrors of lassies that work there. Or he could be lying. Man this discussion has made me feel all horrible :-(

xxxx

Its a hard one isnt it. I never used to feel like this but because I am so protective and so crazy about my man, I get so worked up about these lassies. I mean when we very first started going out, we were out in the town for a drink and some lassy shouted at scott and his pals - "oi you come to ma work" Scott didnt recognise her so he said where do work? and she said the name of the strip club. She could see he was holding my hand and obviously wanted to cause trouble and it has stuck in my mind ever since, I was so upset - not that he had been to the club but that this wee idiot thought she had one up on me. Know what I mean? Its not like he has ever been there behind my back because without a word of a lie, since we first got together we havent spent a night apart. We fell in love so quickly.

I've been quite unfortunate with girls in my time. Met a lot of really nasty girls and it makes me very weary of woman, which is a horrible way to be.

I never get why women who sleep with taken men are blamed/vilified as much as, if not more, than the man. If a woman is single, it's up to her what she does, and while it's not nice to chase after taken men, ultimately the blame lies 100% with the man if he does anything as HE'S the one in a relationship.

If a stripper tried coming onto my OH beyond the 'acceptable' limits, I know he'd tell her where to go; and if he DID do anything, I'd place the blame solely with him and no-one else.

Some people on here have been really harsh about strippers. It's just a job at the end of the day, they don't really deserve to be called names.

what are the acceptable limits?

Women who go out with the intention of trying to sleep with someone who is clearly getting married are nothing more than slags. i don't care if they are single or not, who does that to another woman? Of course the man is to blame for destroying the relationship and he isn't worth marrying anyway but i'm just pointing out that there are horrible girls out there that do this.

Strippers are just doing a job and when they stick to what they are supposed to do, it is harmless, it's when they don't like in the situation described earlier that they give other strippers a bad name.