This is another "what should I do" stick my guns or pay out to keep the peace.
H2B is 35 - his little bro is 19.
We had already decided that we want and are paying for the dads suits.
H2B is already having BM/Usher issues - so doesnt want any. But I am trying to persuade him that we need some ushers to do the ushering at the church.
I have persuaded H2B to ask his 2 BIL's to be ushers.
Here is the big but - I know that MIL is gonna pipe up and say what about his brother, you are leaving him out on purpose. (I have fallen out with said brother, he hates me, and he always causes dramas) He is the type that doesnt go out and just stays in his room on the x-box doesnt have any friends and his people skills are non exsistant. So he defo does NOT fill teh roll of usher in any shape or form. I really dont see why I should pay out for a suit for him - just because :-(
H2B has said that if we dont, there is defo gonna be drama.
CommentAuthorFuture Mrs Doublé
If you've really made up together with H2B your mind about who's going to be Usher then I don't see why you should pay for brother's suit if he doesn't hold a role. while you're at it why don't you pay for all his family if you see what I mean. Explain to PIL that it's nothing against H2B brother, but by the tradition you should just have to pay for suits for FOG BM and ushers no one else
Soon to be Mrs Gary Doublé
Everything is now booked
Getting really stressed and excited now
CommentAuthorKinkyemo
mhmm cant you ask him to be one but ask him to pay for his own suit! Then its his choice if he wants to be part of your day or not! If he knows he has to pay for his own suit then maybe he will be a little bit better with the situation and might step up to the job at hand!
Are you paying for all the usher's suits?
CommentAuthorStave
Well we were going to pay for them yeah.
I know that he wont want to do it but will cause a drama.
CommentAuthorFuture Mrs Doublé
thats a tough situation, I would do what H2B decides, after all he's his brother, if he thinks for your peace of mind its better to pay for suit do it, if he prefers talking to him to explain. but let H2B decide.
Soon to be Mrs Gary Doublé
Everything is now booked
Getting really stressed and excited now
you're welcome, I like to help. I think I'm gonna go try to get some sleep need to be up no later than 9 :) take care and hope you get everything sorted, and let me know which food you'll pick
Soon to be Mrs Gary Doublé
Everything is now booked
Getting really stressed and excited now
CommentAuthorStave
Will defo keep you posted ;-)
CommentAuthorJane
edited
To be honest I would say to MIL that you only need 2 ushers, any more is not traditional. MILs like to go with tradition! It sounds like the younger brother doesnt really want to have a role anyway, and if he does turn around and say he feels left out give him the job of doing a reading or something like that so he doesnt feel neglected. Or if he is your typical 19 year old into Xbox and music, maybe he could be involved in planning the disco? Sorting a playlist, going around and asking the guests what they would like played? x
CommentAuthorFuture Mrs Doublé
brilliant idea Jane, I forgot that people can have other duties than being usher.
Soon to be Mrs Gary Doublé
Everything is now booked
Getting really stressed and excited now
