Hi everyone. I didn't know who else to talk to so came here. Me and h2b have had an evening in which we very rarely do. We watched corrie and then he wanted to watch rugby which I wasn't too happy about. I went into the bedroom and watched the next corrie and friends on my iPhone. At 10 I went into the lounge and asked him if he was coming to bed. All of a sudden he went mad. Pushed me to the floor and put his clenched fist to me but didn't hit me. He was saying all these horrible things saying I had a go at him tonight which I Havnt and all my friends think I treat him like dirt. I have no idea where it came from. Still sat here crying. Sorry can't do paragraphs on my phone. I pushed me and I fell over sofa to the floor. He had never been like this before. I am in bed now he is in lounge. He was saying we shouldn't be together and stuff. He has been in a weird mood since he saw his kids on wed and I kept asking what was wrong but hd keeps saying nothing. Sorry for the moan everyone xx

oh hun is ther anywhere close by you can got to till he cools off xx

No he hasn't done it before which is why it was a shock. I have no idea why he turned. Shouting at me telling we I was in the wrong! He said he has s lot going on at work but that isn't an excuse. I have been all over the place last few months with hormones and body nor knowing what they are doing so maybe Havnt been myself bur he doesn't seem to understand that xx

no excuse 4 wat he did! u came down n ask him to cum to bed!! n it doesnt matter if uaint been ureself dont mean he shud do that, ru hurt btw ? dint ask that b4

Omg - are you ok - he is bang out of line.

Has he done this before?

I would seriously wait until tomorrow when he has calmed down and read him the riot act, this is unacceptable behavior, if he has a problem he either shares it and you deal with it together or he sorts his head out and leaves you out of it.

Huge loves and cuddles xxxx

yes i wud do wat raekim has said! awwwwww dont kno wat 2 suggest x

awww hunni i hope you manage to sort it out!!! Make sure you do tell him it isnt right otherwise he might think it ok!! There no excuse for it at all! Even if he is upset over his kids that not your fault!!! big hugs hun xxxxx

Get out now the fact he has been like this once shows he has the potential to be like it again. Having been in an abusive relationship I wish I'd run for the hills when my ex showed his very first sign of aggression. Fine if you want to see how he is when he has calmed down that's ok but for tonight get out the house or I'm fairly certain it'll be worse. I don't want to scare you hun but that's what my experience has shown me, stay with a friend and stay safe until he is calm enough to talk xxx

you need to leave him huni, no way should any man do that to his partner. Its disgusting. When his gone i would pack your bags and leave.

Oh hun, I'm so sorry this has happened. I don't think I have the right to tell you to leave, you'll know what to do for best but please be careful and think of yourself! A real man would never do such a thing, remember that ok? We're all here for you. Be strong! x x x x

Is he on drugs or do you think he could have developed a physiological condition? That doesn't sound right no matter what. I would talk to him in the morning if you can and find out what the hell is going on in his head. It could be something wrong with him and he just needs to get medical help (not making excuses but sometimes if people have things like epilepsy they can become violent before an attack is due etc) If he either acts like this again or hasn't got any medical reasons for doing this then you need to get out hun.

Oh I really hope that everything is okay sweetie and you have got to the bottom of the problem.

Hoping everything is ok, and that you get to the bottom of what happened last night. But above all else, make sure you are safe, no matter what that might take. <hugs> xx

Ok, I'm not being funny when i say this, but my mum and I were both huge sufferers of domestic violence when she was with her now-ex husband.
It got ridiculous, at 7 i was refusing to go to friends birthday parties because i was scared of what he would do to my mum whilst i was gone, at 11 he ran me over and tried to kill me, every week we were pushed down the stairs, strangled and this is only the start of it.
You do NOT have to put up with this. If he's like this before you've even got married i think you seriously need to sit and have a good long hard think about whether he's the right person for you or not. I know you love him etc, my mum was in a similar situation but if its not a safe environment then its really not worth being in it.
Hugs xxxx

yes there could be an underlying problem that needs checking out but still, does he drink? hiding something from you , you don't know what he was doing whilst you were upstairs.

(ps how can you not like rugby i love it! ) xxxx

oh wow. I hope you're ok this morning Mrsbarkertobe! The girls are right...if theres no medical reason for this outburst from him, get out NOW. If he did it *just because he can* he WILL do it again. It doesn't matter if some other situation p1ssed him off that is NO excuse for him to treat you like that. Good luck hun xx

OMG... you poor thing -
Get out whilst you still can...
I was married to a violent man... it started with little pushes (before we got married), with the "Im sorry it will never happen again" little speech afterwards... then it became grabs and slaps..... then of course the punching and kicking....

I put up with it for 7 years thinking i could change the man... and for the sake of the children....but of course i couldnt.. it only got worse, to the extent where he broke my nose.. so let him get away with it now, no matter what the excuse and he WILL do it again... ..... so again.. My advice is........... GET OUT NOW!!

hope your ok this morning and clear with the next steps your going to take
keep your chin up and keep smiling

How are you today? I hope your ok. I was shocked to hear what had happened. Prob as shocked as you.

But hun, i am going to say this as i feel i cant not. But a man should never inflict harm on you, no matter what the circumstances.
The fact that he lost his temper- well ok, but he acted out incorrectly. My best advise is to nip it in the bud. If you too feel this is out of character, then you need to talk with him when he is calmer and find out what made him flip. It isnt good enough if he just promises he wont do it again. Coz he has done it once now, and i am sorry but if it isnt addressed. He will and can do it again.

I cant imagine what your going through but please hun. Get some help. Big hugs xxx

Hi hun, really hope you are ok today, worried about you <3 . We're all thinking of you hun XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

It's no excuse as to what he did to you hun, even if you did wind him up (which can't see myself) you just don't be aggressive full stop. Oh hun.... wish I knew what to say/do *big hugs* Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hi hun

Regardless of whether he has ever lost his temper like that before what he did is in excusable. So you asked him to not go out as much? You are well within your right to if you feel it is harmful to your relationship or just far too much. After his out burst last night he should be staying in to sort things out with you , not go out and get lashed up with the lads (thats just my opinion)

I'm not saying spilt from him as I nor anyone else has the right to do that.

All I can say is I went through something that started like that and I got out very quickly (within a month). It took me 2 years to trust another man, for 3 months after I left I wouldn't go out on nights out unless I was with my parents for dinner or I was back in before dark. I took a further 6 months to be able to go out in a group clubbing again. I so wasn't myself. It was me that changed not him. My 2 best friends love my now fiance as they see just how much he cares and looks after me and how much like the old pre looser Rachel I now am. If my oh gets angry he walks away and calms down before coming to speak to me and we talk things through until we're both sorted.

I'm telling you this as I would hate to see anyone go through this regardless of how much or how little I know them. Be strong sweetie. I know it is hard but you have to really think about what you want from life and what expect from a relationship and get it.

Hope it all works out xxxx

As a person who is highly influenced by what other people think and say, please make this decision for yourself. As Rachel says, no one has the right to tell you what to do with your relationship, only you know the ins and outs, and in no way am I excusing his behaviour, just please make sure you know in your heart whaterver desicion you make is the correct one. I wish you love and strength in helping you get through this...
<3

In 2 years my ex had never shown any aggression towards me until one day I annoyed him, like you I have no idea how (and never did). He stormed into the room, threw me out of our bed and then picked up the bed and threw it at me.
He was sorry and promised it would never happen again.
And it never did...Until, I annoyed him again. He grabbed me and threw me into the bathroom and stood over me shouting and screaming at me and punching at me but not actually connecting.
He was sorry and promised it would never happen again.
And it never did...Until, I annoyed him again. 3 or 4 separate occasions, he would hit me or pin me down and scream abuse at me.
He was sorry and promised it would never happen again.
And it never did...Until, my 3 year old son annoyed him. He was a well built man who did a physical job. He took a swing at my son, I managed to grab my son out of the way and get him into his bedroom. At that point I changed. I told him if he touched my son I would kill him. He laughed and asked how I'd do that 'cos I was weak, I calmly replied 'You've got to sleep sometime!'
He was sorry and promised it would never happen again.
And it never did...Until, he lost a necklace his mother had given him. It was my fault. He pinned me down on the sofa with his hands around my neck and tried to kill me, I could see my son stood in the doorway crying.
That was it. I was NOT going to die there in front of my son, he was NOT going to kill him too.
I went ballistic, managed to get hold of the phone from off the table and beat him about the head with it until he stopped moving. I grabbed Scott, doubled locked the front door so he couldn't get out and ran to a neighbours and called the police.

Regardless of what he says it is NOT YOUR FAULT. There is no justification for him acting like that.
Please, please don't let it get as far as I did.
x

I'm glad you are feeling better hun. Whatever you do make sure it is the right thing for you. If you need to talk there are plenty of us about to listen to you x x