I've spent the last few hours working things out and i dont think i'm going to be able to afford to get married the figures could work out at least 30k or more, why so much you ask... well i need a £500 deposit to book my date then venue price for 2011 is £6500 and then an additional £8000 for food, drinks an dj, thats without additional cost of chair covers, and every other wedding stuff dresses, suits, cakes, honeymoon etc BUT i'm not getting married till 2014 so prices are bound to go up..... I need a miracle and yes i've looked at cheaper options but h2b or myself didn't like anythin else although baring in mind i get the entire venue for myself etc... i'm in such distress as this is my dream wedding.....
Any serious advice please thanks xx

The first thing I would do is... decide if this venue is what you really want, or its going to be more trouble than its worth.

I just looked at you pics and I know the venue you are looking at, been to a wedding there myself. Have you actually seen the venue yet? I think its really over rated.

Id seriously look elsewhere for a venue you can do it alot cheaper then that at somne great places. (mine was £3500 for everything and a room overnight then we changed to disney florida and its still only 4000 with food cake photos and limo) It might not be what you want but its either compromise or set a later date??

If its your dream day then fair enough but we got an amazing venue for £4500 all inc, including any extras you could imagine. Even the £1000 wedding at the holiday inn can be done really nicely, it all just depends on how badly you want to get married, In my opinion £30k is an enormous amount for one day, but as i said if its really what you want then fair play x

if that venue is 'the one' and nothing else will do then you can make up the money somewhere else. our venue is overbudget but we are getting all our invites for £150, bridemaids are buying their own dresses etc etc if you don't want to look for another venue try looking for cheaper options for the other things xx

I don't mean any disrespect towards you and your H2B (or anyone having a costly wedding) with this post and I apologise in advance if that's how it comes across.

Our wedding is costing us the grand total of £5000, less if we can get away with it. Even if we had 30k to spend we wouldn't, it's 1 day and give it 2 months and no-one is going to remember it except us (how it rolls with weddings I'm afraid)
Getting married isn't about 5k dresses or 8k meals or having your reception in a huge venue, Gina shoes and Maggie Sottero (or is that Sorreto, can never remember lol) bridesmaid dresses. Your wedding day is about commiting to the person you love above and beyond any other - it doesn't matter if you get married in Church, in a registry office, a hotel or in a Vegas Chapel with the service held by a fat Elvis, what matters is the commitment you make to each other.
Yes, every wedding day has it's value but the value isn't monetary. I've worked weddings all over the country and 1 thing I can tell you for sure, the BEST wedding days are the ones where the Bride and Groom have a modest venue, a finger buffet and drinking and dancing. These huge ones that cost mega-bucks all roll into one, nobody remembers them and because you're in a 'posh' venue no-one dares to let their hair down properly - they're like funerals with different clothing :(

I've been dreaming of my day since I was my daughter's age - yes, I'd love a horse-drawn carriage and a massive dress and designer shoes and to go off to a reception where everything is done for me in a stately home or castle, but is it going to enrich my married life? NO, NO, NO!
I do know someone who had a 50k wedding - years later people do still talk about it, but because it was the cr@ppiest wedding that any of the guests had ever been to. I also know someone who had a 3k wedding that still gets talked about, because it was the best day out any of us have had! - so there's your perspective.

It's up to you - do you want to get married because you love him with every fibre of your being or because you want a showy day playing at princess? If it's because you truly love him then you WILL find a way to have a dream day without all the pomp, circumstance, frills and expense.
When push comes to shove it doesn't matter where or how much, it's why you're doing it!
xxx

30k WHAT!!! I wouldn't spend that much nooo way I want a nice wedding a big wedding however I've gone on ebay haggled my way down, charity shops ect I get why you want this dream wedding its once in life time and as long as you look back and think wow my day was amazing then thats what counts but are you going to be able to do that whilst thinking omg I can't believe I spent that much on one day x

Ok i'll explain a little more on prices and what they are offering as a venue... I'll have the wedding and reception there, the entire venue and grounds are reserved exclusively for me on my wedding day, I'll have a front of house manager to help wih planning 10-12 weeks before my day. The quote for 2011 based on 60 guests (I have 100 for the day a further 100 in evening) is
** 3 course meal of my choice, 60 guests @ from £50.00 - £3000.00
** Welcome drink (Bucks Fizz, Pimms etc) - 60 @ from £6.50 - £390.00
** House wines with meal - 30 bottles @ from £28.95 -£868.50
** Sparkling wine for toast - 12 bottles @ from £32.95 - £395.40
** Evening Buffet 100 guests at prices from £26.50 per person - £2650.00
** Dj through til midnight - £450.00
Total - £7753.90 + VAT
+ Venue Charge
This price includes
* My own dedicated front of house manager to help you plan and run my special day
* Exclusive use of the whole house and gardens
* Free use of one of the five licenced areas for my marriage ceremony
* All non consumables including furnishings, table linen and house decorations. (sent an email chair covers seperate price)
* Full Bar facilities including staff
Venue Charges for 2011 - Saturday** August - £6500

Take into account price might go up come 2014

Still alot of money i think hun:
Our wedding breakfast is £32 per head for a 4 course meal plus tea/coffee & mints
Drinks package is £19 per head and it includes champagne and canapes, 2 drinks with meal and champagne for toast.
Evening hot buffet with 2 deserts is £11.95 per head with a drink incuded.

Venue is a 4 star Castle exclusive use on a Sat for £2000 and that includes 9 bedrooms, bridal suite, master of ceremonies, red carpet, table linen, centre pieces, name cards, table plan, and full english breakfast the morning after for 20 guests.

Your prices seem very expensive just for food & drink, and they will go up. Ours have already but we have secured 2010 prices. most places go up by about 10%

xx

my god! you can easily cut that down we have 48 for day and bbq food and 120 for evening with buffet, we have done the whole wedding for just under £1000
reg office ceremony
bbq drinks and music in my brothers garden for 48 day guests
Hired hall for evening and diso and buffet for 120
including outfits apart from mine (dad Bought my dress)
decs
flowers
presents for wedding party
and a bouncy castle yay!
DIY is the key! xxx

my wedding reception was in a rugby club,it was my dream day,nothing went wrong guests has a blast,,throwing money you dont have at a wedding doent mean its going to work,,id seriously talk to him,getting married is more important

you make it your dream day not the venue it will be just a special wherever you do it that monry could be better spent on a house car etc just think in a matter of 24hrs all that money is gone but if you put it towards other things it will go alot further x

Ours is coing in at just under 3k and we have everything we wanted. Not what i always dreamed of but as lon as i got att im more than happy. DIY is the key :)

Claire, your venue costs are about the same as mine. Except I have 80 for the day and 120 at night. Mine does not include entertainment though.
Even paying an extra £1k for the band, my whole wedding is coming out at about £13k (not including dress or honeymoon). How on earth are you getting a total of £30k????

I would say its 4 years away. Your taste will change in that time and you never know what else might happen. You might get pregnant and your priorities will change. Advice I would give is to chill out. Stop planning it this early. Just save up as much as you can, then after a couple of years sit back and see what you have, and see what you can afford and start booking things then.

I think you will make yourself ill if you are stressing this much 4 years in advance!! sorry if that sounds harsh! x

just checked your drinks prices, £6.50 for a glass of Pimms or Bucks Fizz???? I know where I would tell them to stick that!!!

Hi Claire

I was a bit like you...i had an image of what i wanted (big dress, fancy food, lovely venue etc) but then i worked out all was too expensive and over budget. However im still having my dream wedding - im marrying Chris and thats all that matters to me.

Ok im now getting married in our parish church (my dad preffered it that way in which i do to) we got our evening venue free - ok its only a Rec club but it fits 180 people in it (free as we do discos there and know the owner but would have cost £200 to hire) and our main meal is in a small local pub.

Im going to glitz it up with flowers and accesories to how i imagined just on a lower scale.

Its amazing where you can get cheap but not tacky wedding bits....POUNDLANDS BEEN MY SAINT!!! LOL as well as ebay.
Unfortunately we need to be realistic in what we can afford and at the end of it , it is just one day and do you really want to have a debt of 30k in your new married life?? i know i wouldnt. The most important thing is not how much but who you are marrying and that your both happy together. :-)

All the best.
xx

Dont get me wrong, the venue from the outside is stunning but the inside looks like its falling down.
The girls are right, throwing money you dont have in to a wedding will not make it your dream day. Personally i dont think you have enough guests at your wedding to fill the place up which means your party will 'look' smaller.
If your not willing to compromise on cutting costs everywhere else, you have no choice but to put the wedding back to have enough time to save.... will getting married on a weekday not cut the price down?
Please dont get drawn in to the whole front of house, wedding planner thing... most venues have this and in all fairness, apart from on the day, they dont do anything!!
I got my venue for 4.5K when it should have been 10K but i had to compromise on the time of year i got married. x

yep agree with Mrsstockwin! Luckily my dream venue and day is only costing £13k tho!
i had a shortlilst of 3 venues, and the one I have gone for, which turned out to be my dream venue, was the one we only went to see to "stroke of the list"!! The picture and brochure didnt do it justice, as soon as we drove up the drive i started smiling, and I just felt so serene and giddy! I was in love. And still smile inside whenever i think of the place!
When we went to the place that was my original favourite from the brochures, i felt nothing. Wasnt stirred at all. So that was that!!

have you been to see a shortlist of venues yet? You have a while before they will get booked up, so take your time. Go visit loads, speak to the wedding planners (how you feel about them, may well be a decision maker in the end!) and maybe have lunch there to try out the food. Sneak in on the morning of some weddings this year, see what they are like, see how good they can look, or not!!!

Thanks girls you're all being amazing, i'm going to try looking else where however its difficult to find castles in essex only other one was headingham castle but their prices were about the same... i cant afford it which is why i'm trying to save up but it is difficult and i'm going to take some time into looking for money saving stuff and talk to h2b about the realistic situation of things.. Relfy i haven't gone to see it yet, is it really that bad?? xxx

Would you travel further afield for a good venue?

but at that price you might still be better off hiring a couple of coaches to take folk further afield!

I looked at a venue about 60 miles way from me, and coaches there and back for 100 people cost about £1000. And thats way up the top of Scotland, your bound to find a better deal down there!

or how about a castle in another country? If you are set on a castle, then look abroad. Or Scotland!! And just keep your numbers down to nearerst and dearest.

Didnt think of that linzi_mac and i have 80 close family all the rest is my h2b's he has a big family lol xx

I've just been looking at castle prices in the South East...

Anyone want to pay a minimum of £192 per guest?????

Have you looked at Cambridge? Some of the colleges are available to hire during the holidays. And are gorgeous!!!