You may remember my rant from a few weeks ago when everything seemed to be going wrong - my sis lost her baby, my other half decided he thought we were drifting apart and my parents wanted to "talk" about the wedding, well here is my update: a
My sis seems to moving on and getting over things, been spending time with her each weekend just to give them both the support they need and she is very positive and looking forward to trying again soon.
The OH and I have had a long talk and are making more of an effort with each other and seem to be sorting things out and actually spending more time as a couple again now! So that is all good!
However, spoke to my parents and basically they were going to give us £4k towards our wedding (as they paid for my sisters whole 1st wedding which she didn't even want) and have now said they cannot afford that and can only give us £2k! Cue lots of arguing and me getting upset! The history is my mum has always treated me differently to my siblings, is jealous that I went to uni & have a good job and awaits tried to make me feel guilty as they offered to pay for my uni fees!
Now the most annoying thing is they just lied and made up all these excuses why they couldn't afford the money when I know they have known about all these other things for months and so could have spoken to us at any point before we finally booked a venue and the registrar and paid all the non-refundable deposits!
So the OH and I spoke about it and have basically said to them that in light of everything that has been said and how they can't really afford it and seem to not want to do it then we will cancel or plans and we will arrange something ourselves for next summer!
In one way I relieved we can have whatever we want with no interfering or dictating now! But on the other hand I am really angry and upset with my parents! I just wish they had said no in the first place rather than doing it like this, and to top it all off my mother sounded a little pleased as we told her we didn't want there money, as if this is what she wanted all along!
Just needed to have a rant, and see if you agree I have done the right thing as now my mother is trying to make me feel guilty and telling me I have hurt there feelings when they don't seem to have thought about mine at all! Xx
CommentAuthorsarah
:( I;m sorry they did this to you
CommentAuthorbumblebumble
Oh love - thats awful...Im not really sure what to say but that is really awful. Like you said though - try and look on the positive and you can now do everything 100% your way! xxxx
x Keeley x
CommentAuthorMrsMoran
Awww bless you hun, so sorry that's happened and not really sure either what to say to help, other than at least you can now plan what you both want xxx
CommentAuthorVelcro
thats such a shame hun, must be so frustrating and such a waste having lost all your deposits as well but the main thing is you and H2B are spending more time together and it's good to hear your sister is coping well
If I were you now I wouldn't be involving my parents in anything, they wouldnt be on top table, my mum wouldnt be inbvolved in anything and Id thank everyone in our speeches apart from them, that could be veiewed as petty, but your parents shouldnt be treating you like that. they could have saved you a lot of bother and money if they hadn been honest in the first place
Enjoy planning your summer wedding and see if there is anyway you can save your deposits or even part of them by asking if you could switch dates with whoever you have booked with?
Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey
*Kelbel* is my wedding twinny!
Sounds a bit of an awful time for you :( But looking positively at least now you have plenty of time to have exactly what YOU want, and time to create your dream wedding :) x
CommentAuthorLauraB437
Thanks for all your comments ladies - should have expected this of them really, but as H2B says I do try to see the best in people even when they don't deserve it!
Think we are just going to scrap the plan and have a big BBQ and party at a family friends huge house that is being renovated at the moment!
Velcro - my H2B is like you and has said he doesn't want my parents doing a speech saying how proud they are when really they are jealous of their own daughter and that they are never welcome in our home if they come back!
I guess the only good thing is they live in the US do at least I don't have to try to avoid them too much!
Tried to see if I can delay my dress but it is due this month
CommentAuthorVelcro
at least you can keep the dress stored :) ive got mine already and im not getting married til next sept
Could it stay at a friends or relis? mines at my mums and im not allowed to keep going pawing at it haha. shes mean lol
Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey
*Kelbel* is my wedding twinny!
CommentAuthorBobsi
Aww Hun it's unfair they've done that. At least everything will now be yours.
X
Got together June 11th 2006
Getting married June 11th 2014
8 years to the day and I'll be Mrs T.
CommentAuthorHannahD47
That's so mean of them! You seem to have taken it well though! And delaying it just gives you more time to look forward to it :)
xx
CommentAuthornadia13
That sucks :0( but as every1 says u can now have ur wedding ur way!! X
CommentAuthorGillianE
How awful, but at least it now means you and your h2b has full say over everything on your wedding without your mum giving you her ideas and expecting you to go along with them as she has contributed towards the wedding with her money.
Really glad your sister is getting better and glad you and h2b getting along great now.
xx
CommentAuthorSianyCaitlin
edited
That's really unfair, I'd be fuming & so upset too, so yes I do agree with you. & why on earth is your mum trying to make you feel guilty?! Guilty about what?? She should be proud that you've been to uni & got yourself a good job etc!
I'm glad to hear about your sister & things with h2b though, that's fab news xx
Got together 06/07/2009
Got engaged 16/07/2012
I marry my best friend 08/06/2014
Can't wait to be Mrs Sharp x
CommentAuthorJennyHeather
As others have said at least you can have things the way you want it.
Glad you're sorting things with your OH thats the main thing.
I kind of know how you feel with the money situation, it's not happened yet but for my sisters wedding that lasted no more than 5 minutes because she was an idiot, my dad gave her so much towards it. But I spoke to my dad the other week about if he was contributing towards our wedding and he didn't say yes or no he just said he would see what he could do but it wouldn't be a lot, and it depends on if his car needs any work doing on it if it does then we definately won't be getting much at all. I'm not expecting loads off him just maybe about the same as what he gave my sister because I've been with H2B for nearly 8 years so we know his money won't go to waste. Whereas my sister got with her ex husband and married him within 5 mins, I'm not saying there's anything wrong with this because sometimes it does work with people, but my sister just became an idiot and ended up divorcing him within 3 months of the marriage!!
Anyway this thread isn't about me lol I was just explaining how I know how you feel with the money situation.
CommentAuthorJennifer84
That's really awful but as others have said you just need to look at the positives of what has happened, at least it will be all your and your h2b's decisions xx
CommentAuthorKatherineR45
This is all a real shame but it also sounds like it could work up for the best, at least now you can plan your day the way you want it x
