So this is the beginning of the story... My moh's auntie was in a car accident and died(she was crossing the road at a big roundabout near our tesco and got run down by a car) ... We all gave her lots of support as I know her mum and grandma really well too so was there completely with the support.

Now the middle of the story .... I mentioned my hen do to her (which was gonna be Edinburgh,5hrs away) to which she said she had anxiety because of her aunties accident and wasn't sure she could travel that far, so me being nice moved it closer to York(1hr away) ...bearing in mind my hen do is in August next year,so she may be lots better by then, to get a reply of ...I can't be away from hubby that long as he's the only one that can calm me down so I'm point blank saying I won't be coming.

To which I kind of accepted,til I saw pictures that she'd been to London 5hrs away and her hubby had driven there, her response to my txt questioning it was that as her hubby was there if she had a panic attack, he'd be able to calm her down.... AGAIN OK!!

WELL NOW I AM ABSOLUTELY FUMING ..... her hubby has put a pic on of her cousins fiancé giving her a test drive in a blooming ridiculously fast Ferrari on Facebook making a laugh and joke about it and I quote 'scaring the s h I t out of her!!' ... So I have commented on the pic saying this:
This is interesting to see.... She has such bad anxiety that she can't come on my hen do next year because it involves cars and travel, yet here she is as a passenger in a ridiculously fast car, guess I'm such a rubbish friend!!

Absolutely angry right now, have I been completely taken for a mug??

I don't really know what to say about this except that surely if she WANTED to be at your hen do, she could have her partner in a hotel with her (I'm assuming you will stay in hotels due to distance overnight?) so that if she did have a panic attack he could come deal with it? Personally I think she may just be fobbing you off...

I would like to add that I am very sorry to here about such an unfortunate event happening in her life, but as a person who regularly suffers from panic attacks, there is no excuse for such behaviour & maybe she should try using "Rescue Remedy"... It works wonders & is herbal!

I haven't mentioned taking her out the bridal party, my other friend bridesmaid thinks I should sack her off, and h2bs sisters who are also my bridesmaids think she's being a little out of order since I moved the destination plus all the other bits I've pointed out!

That's a shame, but it's probably better that you're planning your do now. Can you change it back to Edinburgh as that's what you wanted originally?

You have every right to be fuming!!!! After all the support you gave her and her family when she was having a really tough time and beyond (changing your plans to accommodate her 'worries') and she literally throws it back in your face!!! That is so sly and nasty! Try and speak to her face to face about how you feel betrayed. If she was my MOH she would be out of a job!!! xx

I'm not a supporter of sacking members of the bridal party. Sacking of bridal party members generally equals end of the friendship. It seems a shame to call time on a relationship over someone else's book of face post. If she had posted that on her book of face herself it would be different, but there's no way to know if she did it because she wanted to or because she was pressured to.
It looks like Kel has it sorted. I don't think it's helpful to be calling for her MOH's head.

Her husband posted the picture.

I've text her about it and she's backtracked saying her anxiety is not about being in cars,it's travelling and distances..... But I said yeh but being in a car is travelling...especially a fast car and I would feel anxious even without anxiety/panic attack issues

Hmmm.... is your other friend unmarried? You could make her maid of honor and the other the matron of honor.

She's un married my other friend x

I just don't know ... I just start bubbling when I reread what I txt her, very upset right now

Anxiety is a most illogical beast. I have a friend that's a performer. She's been in plays, musicals, and has been done extra work for films and tv. She is also a drama teacher at a secondary school with over 100 different students.
Even though she can perform and teach she has serious social anxiety around her peers. I've know her to stay home to avoid social situations. She has tried a lot of different therapies and medications but her anxiety still rears it's ugly head from time to time.
She can be a very frustrating friend but I've learned to not take her anxiety personally. It does help that she has sought help dealing with her anxiety and that it has been getting better over the years.
Is your friend at least trying to get help for her anxiety? Has she spoken to her GP about it?

I am someone else who suffers with panic attacks and like all of us I have good and bad days ..... ( mine are triggered by not knowing where I'm going or other stuff ) now I couldn't contemplate getting on a train on my own yet I managed to fly from Jamaica on my own .... Does this make my panic attacks any less real ..NO ... The reason I could do it is that I had been trough Kingston airport with my hubby so could picture where everything was and where I had to go before I got there on my own ...I was having to fight one when arrived in the uk as I didn't know my way around the airport here

What I'm trying to say is please don't assume that she didn't still have an attack or wasn't feeling anxious

Kel... not all friendships are forever and sometimes tines like these are the test of all the doubts... honesty, trust, integrity, respect and loyalty... is she ticking all these boxes now? Only you can decide.

I don't get why people keep saying to others to calm down when there's no argument!

I can understand u being peeped off heaven knows I would be too... Probably not the best move writing on fb though... BUT anxiety or not she should not be lying to you, her friend... I don't think I would be giving her any more room for excuses, I'd chat face to face and go from there...

If I'm honest I thinks SHE'S the one out of order and to be fair what were u meant to think when u see things like that on fb???? So she's kinda brought it on herself really....

Lala has a point; I get panic attacks when I am in small spaces or large crowds. It does really suck that she is being like this though Kel; you may need to tell her straight that she needs to make her mind up; I'm sorry to hear about the accident but since she agreed to take on the role of moh then she should be at least trying to confront her fears; it's not easy but it is possible.

Wasnt trying to start an argument by the way ladies and Katya thank you for diffusing it and bringing it down I was just trying to make my point thats all I know friendships can go south and that its awful when they do but sometimes its for the best you wont relaise it now but later But the decision is Kellys So Hugs Kels let us know how it goes

How're u this morn kel? X

I was really upset last night so went in the bath and I didn't reply to anymore of her msgs because I wanted to calm myself down and not say something I'd regret. Anyway I got out,pj'd up and was drying my hair when she was at the door. She came in and we both sat upstairs for about 45 mins crying and sort of explaining a few things as I think some of the friendship things I'd said had been bubbling up for a while and had just exploded out last night ... She kind of explained a bit more about how she was feeling and how alone she is at the mo, and she said she'd spoke to her hubby in the past about stepping down as moh but then she didn't wanna let me down either and that she'll start talking to me about things and not shutting me out, I just said we'll take each day at a time at the min ...

Sometimes I think having a good chat diffuses the situation, so I feel a bit more positive today x

glad youve had a good ol' natter! glad your feeling more positive too!

Good news Kel x