I just need to get this off my chest, out wedding isnt till july 2016 but I'm already fed up,we have booked the perfect venue I love it! But now that's booked I'm keen to get on to the other plans and to put it nicely he just doesn't seem to give a crap! It's really getting me down I just feel like he doesn't care and doesn't want to marry me! I have told him how I feel and asked him numerous times if this is what he wants and he says it is but what he says and what he is doin are completly diff! Sorry it's just making me feel so low about the whole thing :(
Xxx
CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
Hun .. Guys don't see the excitement of a wedding like we do , after we are brought up thinking weddings ..he has thought it for 5 mins in his mind there is LOADS of time so things won't need to be done yet ...
Yeah, in his mind he'll be thinking ''well we have years yet'' they don't get excited the same as us and as into the planning.
I wanted to look at invites the other day and my fiance just wasn't interested as he just thought ''what's the point, we don't have to send them for almost a year''
CommentAuthorKjs2016
edited
I agree with Lala, I think men see it as so far off and loads of time to organise. I think my OH was starting to get a bit fed up with all the venue searching we did but we both love the one we decided on. Since then, to be honest I have driven everything but as I have become excited he has joined in and asks questions and is more interested & involved. Stick at it and try not to take it personally. You have done the right thing in talking to him and asking, that may hopefully help. I'll send you a friend request as I am a July 2016 bride to be as well
I wouldn't worry too much, you've got 2 years yet. I've noticed it's only in the last 6 months that my H2B has got really interested. xx
CommentAuthoralmost a year wife!!
Hi, my hub didn't get really excited until about 3 months before the day, I don't think he appreciated how much work I'd done on the wedding until after lol Really don't worry about it xxx
Ill marry my hero
CommentAuthorbarbie86
My OH is the same; he seems to think that the magic wedding fairy has waved her wand and things have just happened, and doesn't realise that each and every thing has taken time and energy to organise and put in place. What is even more frustrating in my case is that it wasn't me who wanted the big fancy wedding, it was him (I was happy either to elope or have a simple pub wedding); yet I've been left to do all the work!
He literally had two things to do: pick his groomsmen and ask them; and sort out his suit. Well, he didn't ask his groomsmen until a month or so ago (so, they had no idea they were in the bridal party and nearly didn't stay at the venue!); and he left STARTING to look for his suit until the end of last month!!
He's been involved in everything, but it's me who's done all the leg-work; so, he'll look through the shortlist of 6 photographers, for eg, not realising I've looked at about 200; same goes for venues, grr!
CommentAuthorWhovianbride
Calm down hun, men don't really care about these things like we do, he be more excited nearer the time, try to give him certain tasks which will appeal more to him. I put my oh incharge of looking for bands, and made sure he came and met with the photographer before we booked so he was happy with them, mostly when i go on about the wedding i get that glazed over look. does not mean he does not care but just that he does not care about the details like we do. thats why I have you girls. x
Met June 2009 on my Birthday,Met again July 2009 and got
together, May 2010 Moved in,Jan 2011 got pregnant,
August 2011 Got our own place, 2011 Had our Baby Girl,
Dec 2011 Got engaged, July 2015 Getting married! Yay!
CommentAuthorAlexN29
I was planning a 2016 wedding and kept saying to my h2b " we should book a venue, we should look at a photographer as they are the two things to book up quickly." He kept telling me it doesn't need to be done yet we have loads of time. He didn't seem interested at all, I kept saying "we could just run away me and you if the big wedding isn't what you want." He was saying he did but didn't seem to care about the wedding at all. We then pushed the wedding forward a year and he suddenly wanted to do everything, spending all his time doing wedding bits, talking to his mum about flowers. It was a full 180 change. Don't be disheartened like all the other ladies have said he will care more when the date starts getting closer.
CommentAuthorVictoriaL46
Oh sweetie... please don't worry. My OH and I got engaged last year and I had the same dilemma. He showed NO interest whatsoever. For him it's about the music and the food and for me it's everything else which I still run by him, if he doesn't show interest then I got to my BM's for feedback. We had our visit with our celebrant last night and it was the first time I saw him really engage with wedding conversation and it kinda blew me away!
Met in Nov 2005
Engaged 13th June 2013
Becomes Mrs Stewart on 10th Aug 2015 Honeymoon in Florida!
My Diary Thread: My Alice in Wonderland Wedding Diary
CommentAuthorkjl87
I really wouldn't worry - he's just a man. I have the ex's same thing at home. I'll try to discuss stuff and he is so uninterested. If he didn't want to do it he would say.
I find the best thing to provoke a reaction is to suggest a silly idea about what you want at the wedding, he'll soon show an interest - well for a minute anyway. I find if he does start talking about it it'll only be for a few minutes and then he'll shut it down again.
Find some girlies to talk stuff over with and then just give him the receipts at the end.
CommentAuthorVickiD69
My man was more excited about the engagement than me, he also set the date and said the next day we should go out looking for venues like next week!! so we did, we picked and paid deposit on our venue. I invited my sister to a wedding fayre and she didn't want to go, but he got offended that i didn't ask him or i didn't want him to go (thought it was a girly thing to do :/) so he came with me and got good ideas. Since then however he isn't interested at all, no one in my family is, his mum and grandma are the only ones interested. Every time i say are you going to help me, he says no i'm going to rubbish at it and i know you want it perfect. any excuse to get out of crafty things ;) but yes every time i suggest something he says, we have ages yet!! its like a year away. they just don't appreciate what us women do let alone for a wedding! Just think, if he didn't want to marry you, then he would'nt have asked you! :D
CommentAuthor*KelBel*
It is VERY early and he probs doesn't see it as a priority yet as much... You'll find some suppliers won't either,as some will only just be taking bookings for 2016, maybe perhaps take a month or two off and just enjoy being with each other,as there's loadsa time to plan it. We booked our venue in November 2012 for September this year but didn't book anything else til about 13months before x
Velcro...my wedding day twinny! The Two Kel's!
Got engaged 14/10/12 in Central Park NYC!
Became Mrs Macdonald 13th September 2014
Mummy to 4 girlies and baby blue boy Due 10/05/2016
CommentAuthorVelcro
took mine til about 5 months before he started getting excited and stuck in, til then it was just 'whatever' then got the hump when id made decisions without him, the weapon. so now hes stuck with table name décor he doesn't like because when I asked him he shrugged and said 'whatever' lol
hes been interested in the stag do since day one the, the little shite. give your chap time, he'll come round, it might just not be for another 18 months though xD
Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey
*Kelbel* is my wedding twinny!
CommentAuthorVickiS63
I don't think they understand how long it can take to plan a wedding :) My h2b doesn't want any say in it at all. I've booked my venue, chosen the ceremony time, chosen the wording for ceremony, sorted out save the dates, settled on type of design for cake and bought my wedding ring!
Everything else to follow will be without his help to as it's really not his thing. "Whatever makes you happy" is what he keeps telling me!!
The only thing he is sorting is his own suit & also his best mans!
CommentAuthorMegs84
Mine has only recently started getting excited/nervous. I have done all the planning and organising, and gave him choices e.g. suits, cufflinks, best man and ushers. As we've been together for 14 years, he was not interested in the slightest when we finally set the date a year ago! I wouldn't worry about it at the moment, as you have plenty of time! xx
CommentAuthorBecky1608
My H2B has been similar! I don't think anything would have been organised if I hadn't done it! Apart from maybe the invitations!! Xxx
29/09/2008 - The Day we met
12/11/2008 - When we decided to be more than friends
04/11/2012 - A proposal in Central Park NYC
08/11/2014 - The day we say I do!
CommentAuthorDanielleH99
My h2b is the same, it was a nightmare getting his guest list, i had to book him in to get his suits sorted. Only thing he has done himself is pick the first dance song (which i am not allowed to know till the first dance).
CommentAuthormrs smith 2 b :)
edited
Hi thanks girls, glad to know it wasn't just my man being a Pain the bum hehe, all sorted now I got drunk a cpl of weeks ago and blurted out how I felt and we had a huge chat the next day, I know there's not much we can book just Now, but HES since bn the one wanting to sit and go through color/theme ideas and guest lists :) a lot happier now :)
CommentAuthorWelshBrideBethan2015
It's normal hun lol Last year after we were engaged I started looking everywhere I dragged him to wedding fayres just because I was so excited lol Until we booked more stuff and really started doing stuff did he start showing any more interest and I think it was more he wants the day to be perfect and knows how much of perfectionist I am and he thought I would ask him when I needed him rather than fully involve himself . However he has now started getting more involved and I am surprised how much he wants an input .
Talk to him as he may not realise how you feel x
Somehow always connected , finally became friends .
Friends became soul mates :)
Engaged 6th July 2013
CommentAuthorMillieT
Yep, afraid to say my H2B was like the rest of these above posts. He didn't really start getting involved until about 2 months ago , when I finally forced him to sort out suits. In fact, I made loads of decisions because he literally offered little to no input, and anything he did have a say in, was him saying "No" to things...... now 6 weeks before the wedding he keeps saying little things like "We should have done this" or "We could have got that" ..... all stuff he had said no to in the first place!!!! Since his stag do, hes now full of ideas!!!
xxxxxxxxx
CommentAuthorAprilS61
It's just a man thing! Some ladies are lucky, but most of us aren't ha! My OH has random spouts where he'll say something wedding related but he usually just leaves it all to me but I think it's mainly because he knows I love doing it all. I had to force him to a wedding fayre and then he realised it wasnt as bad and boring as he thought and then came willingly to a few more. It's still early days, you have plenty of time. I woud maybe us shortest a few venues you like and draft up a guest list and concentrate on saving. Maybe then by the end of the year you can book a venue and get the ball rolling!
