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  1.  
    • bride2b90
      CommentAuthorbride2b90
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Jan 17th 2015
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    I couldnt find my last post about this i wrote a post a few months back about not asking my sister to be bridesmaid and how much a cow my mum can be trying to pressure me into making her one. Me and my sister have never really got on and i so t know why i would make this girl part of my wedding party when all she does is have a face on her like a smacked backside. Anyways the rant is my mum started trying to guIlt trip me yeaterday pressurising me into making her a bridesmaid and ny sister text me last night sayin she isnt coming!! Ano its a while away but tbh im seein this as childish blackmail "im not comin since am not a bridesmaid" yada yada and even if j asked her now shed say no and make up loads of lies! I hate families

    Members signature icon
    I met my soul mate in school, after chasing him for 18months
    We got together 15th September 06,
    We celebrated our son Jacob 29th October 10,
    He proposed 15th June 14, We marry 09th July 16
  2.  
    • DonnaH39
      CommentAuthorDonnaH39
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jan 17th 2015
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    This might be childish, but I would just say fine then... someone who would not turn up as a normal guest is not bridesmaid material in my honest opinion.

    Try not to stress too much about it though hun, like you say your wedding is next year, you should be enjoying your planning and the excitement of it being next year :) don't let your mum and your sister ruin this special time for you.




  3.  
    • Glitterfairy
      CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: Jan 17th 2015
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    I agree, play her at her own game. Just say fine, don't come then!

    Members signature icon
    Our wedding day - 6 October 2012


  4.  
    • bride2b90
      CommentAuthorbride2b90
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Jan 17th 2015
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    Thanks girls my mum has a skill for manipulation and makin you think its all your fault. Shes really tryin to guiLt trip me and without sounding bridezilla i keep telling her its my day i choose who i want end of me and my sister wernt talkin and have only just started rebuilding pur relationship in the last few months. My partner is furious at how they are being with me bit says himself let her play her childiah games and see how far it gets her x

    Members signature icon
    I met my soul mate in school, after chasing him for 18months
    We got together 15th September 06,
    We celebrated our son Jacob 29th October 10,
    He proposed 15th June 14, We marry 09th July 16
  5.  
    • TheNewMrsBarrett
      CommentAuthorTheNewMrsBarrett
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jan 17th 2015
      Is poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadge
     
    I agree with the others (and your H2B!), I'd stick to your guns and tell her fine, don't come xx
  6.  
    • VictoriaL46
      CommentAuthorVictoriaL46
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jan 17th 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
      edited
     
    I mentioned on another recent post my sister threw the same wobbler when she was told her new boyfriend couldn't come to my fathers wedding because they had never met him and it was pretty much the lastest in a string of failed relationships. She said she wasn't going to come (she was actually also a bridesmaid) and she didn't... horrible to say this but did it affect the wedding?.. no. Yes my father was a bit put down she chose to be that childish but he had already made allowance for the boyfriend before that and decided to put his foot down.

    You can't give in to that kind of pressure because it's wrong and your mother should know this.

    Members signature icon
    Met in Nov 2005
    Engaged 13th June 2013
    Becomes Mrs Stewart on 10th Aug 2015 Honeymoon in Florida!
    My Diary Thread: My Alice in Wonderland Wedding Diary
  7.  
    • Flossie
      CommentAuthorFlossie
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Jan 18th 2015
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    If she doesn't want to turn up as a normal guest then why does she even deserve to be a bridesmaid?! She clearly doesn't have your best interests at hearts and is only thinking about herself, which is not bridesmaid material at all. Play her at her own game, don't let anyone manipulate you. You have your day exactly how you want it and share it with those with exactly who you want to share it with!! X

    Members signature icon
    Happily married
    18th June 2016
    xx
  8.  
    • CharlieBe-Cool
      CommentAuthorCharlieBe-Cool
      Posted: Jan 18th 2015
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    I have a hard relationship with my sister too, pretty non - existent, so didn't ask her to be my bridesmaid. My mum tried to talk me around but I stood my ground. There were murmurs of her not attending so I just said "fine, in fact better she doesnt". They have not mentioned it since. I also refused to be her bridesmaid, various reasons, mainly because everyone just 'told' me I would be one, she never formally asked me and just assumed I wanted the role. We have no relationship to speak of and I don't agree with 90% of what she does, so it felt hypocritical to then be a bridesmaid. Loads more to it, but basically, family shouldn't automatically assume they will have a role, and her refusal to go unless she does it just an example of her childish behaviour and the lengths she will go to be center of attention.

    Don't rise to it. Just say if she doesn't want to attend that's fine, saves you some money!

    Members signature icon
    Met my prince charming - May 2002
    Finally tying the knot - July 2015
    Where there is love there is life - Muhatma Ghandi
  9.  
    • clairenina
      CommentAuthorclairenina
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Jan 18th 2015
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Stick to your guns, I did. I hate it when people try and manipulate people over wedding decisions.
  10.  
    • InDreamland
      CommentAuthorInDreamland
      Got married 7 years ago
      Posted: Jan 18th 2015
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    How pathetic and childish. Stick to your guns and just say thanks, saves you space at the wedding breakfast table and some money as not having to pay for her place.

    Members signature icon
    Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
    Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!

  11.  
    • Elinor Claire
      CommentAuthorElinor Claire
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Jan 19th 2015
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    I would say stick to your guns as well. No one has the right to assume that they will be bridesmaid, not even a sister, and your mum has no right to have that expectation, especially if you don't get on. Your bridesmaids need to be people that you love and who you can trust.

    Members signature icon
    30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
    It was the day that I became Mrs. Dixon.

  12.  
    • DonnaH39
      CommentAuthorDonnaH39
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jan 19th 2015
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    If you did have her as a bridesmaid I can guarantee you will be on here next year or in a few months with a thread about what a nightmare your bridesmaid is being, not wanting this dress or trying to make it all about her.




  13.  
    • bride2b90
      CommentAuthorbride2b90
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Jan 21st 2015
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    Aww thank you everyone for your reassurance! It's her who's missing out at the end of the day no-one else my mum has been told too many times now I said to her the day before yesterday that if she carries on being rude then we are going to fall out again all because she can't mind her own business· My mum keeps saying "imagine if she didn't ask you" I remind her why would I say yes to being a bridesmaid when her fella beats her up? I am trying not to let such petty behaviour bother me

    Members signature icon
    I met my soul mate in school, after chasing him for 18months
    We got together 15th September 06,
    We celebrated our son Jacob 29th October 10,
    He proposed 15th June 14, We marry 09th July 16
  14.  
    • DonnaH39
      CommentAuthorDonnaH39
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jan 21st 2015
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    As if she keeps asking imagine if she didn't ask you, just tell her what you've said-or just say, we've been through this-I wouldn't want her to ask me.


    My fiancé's mum seemed to expect him to ask one of his brothers to be best man, she didn't kick off about it, but clearly said something to one of them as she told my fiancé that he had said he was glad he hadn't been asked anyway as he was being best man for someone else the week before.... like I said to my fiancé, he wouldn't just randomly say that, surely she asked him how he felt about it first. It was silly really as he isn't really close to either of his brothers and his mum is usually the first to say they don't have anything in common, in fact if anything she over says it-like she'll say, ''oh they're not bothered about coming around at the same time, they don't get on'' when actually although they don't see much of each other and don't share friends, they do like to see each other the odd time we are all in the same place.




  15.  
    • AH86
      CommentAuthorAH86
      Posted: Jan 22nd 2015
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    I agree with a lot of the posts, tell your mum that the issue is solved as she doesn't want to come anyway. If she argues it's because she's not a BM tell her straight as previous have said, if she's not bothered about coming why on earth would you upgrade her to such a big role, by the sounds of it she'll only let you down!

    Defo stick to your guns

    Grrrr hate wedding politics- family and friends wise!

    Members signature icon
    Friday 10th April 2015
    Marrying my best friend
    Not long now :D
 
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