My youngest sister is 21, and although that's a relatively grown up age, she's a bit selfish and doesnt think about anyone but herself. And I don't mean in a spiteful way, she just naturally doesnt consider other feelings or anything, she's very child-like like that :/

Anyway, I've had various arguments with her in the last 6 months. The main one was that I wasnt going to invite her boyfriend. The reasons for this is that I'm having a very small, intimate wedding, with only 50 guests for the ceremony. This is a tight squeeze as I'm one of four, and H2B is one of five, and there are alot of nieces & nephews and such. So as we don't really know her boyfriend that well (he keeps himself to himself when he visits, they've only been together on and off a year) we figured we'd say we're really sorry but numbers are tight. I assumed this would be fine as for same reasons I've had to not invite my own aunty and she was absolutely understanding.

But no, my sister went psycho about it and sent me various messages on facebook of all places about what 'a bi*ch' I was being. She then kicked up a fuss with our mum, and so I was *told* I had to invite him.
So I did, and her response? "don't think he'll want to come now as you've upset him so much" :O Flippin cheek!

Anyway, that was then and since then she's been the only one to not even ask about our wedding, to not rsvp, to not sort out how she's even getting here or what date (we live two hours away and they dont have a car) So I've washed my hands of it and taken my mums advice of its not my problem and aslong as me and H2B are their thats all that counts.

However, yesterday she sends me messages saying how am I going to have my hair and that she cant wait to see the dress etc, being friendly. She then tells me that she's got something to tell me, that she is 3 months pregnant. Lovely, and I'm pleased for her...

But then she drops the bomb!
That the reason she hadnt told me yet (mum knows already) was that she was planing on telling e at my wedding, and that he's going to surprise everyone else on my wedding day by sharing her good news!

In other words, make the day all about her!

I know I probably should be happy but I cant help but feel if she does that all the day will be people asking her about her, and its *my* special day! That I've been waiting for for six years!

Even h2b joked about this months ago saying he wouldnt be surprised if her and her boyf announced an engagement on our wedding day...

I just dont know what to do as I dont want to be labelled a cow by the family :/

Hi hun, Maybe get in there first, with the speeches do a little speech and say ' Firstly before I make my speech I would like to say congratulations to my lovely sister and (name here) is having a baby' then turn conversation back on to you and your hubby by maybe putting it at the start of the speech. but as hails said if she only does it in conversation to people then id say thats ok. your the bride so everyone will be watching you not her x

Haha! This is going to sound like such a bit**y thing to say... BUT....
I would accidentally 'slip up' to family members about it, it will spread like wild fire... then there's no chance of it spoiling your day.
Sounds like a touch of jealousy to me on her behalf so don't let her ruin your day. I'd play it cool with her though and be friendly back, after all she is your sister and you don't want to fall out. Hails is right though, no one can up stae the bride on her wedding day xx

How about leaking the info about her pregnancy to your guests now? Then it'll be old news in 2 weeks time ...........or is that mean?

That said, noone can upstage the bride and groom .............it's your big day hun and 100% attention will be on you!

xx

oh yeah, i think everyone would have the same view as us. it's not the done thing!!

Ps - on a side note, congratulations to her :)

Put a congratulations on Facebook now, she clearly thinks it's the correct place to air your laundry! Then play innocent, "Oh you didn't want it to be announced yet, sorry".

how is she planning on announcing it? during the speeches? if so dont give her the opportunity by keeping your speeches controlled and mention it in your own speech!!.
I would also talk to her and explaion that you think she should announce her pregnancy to people before your wedding and not wait until the day as family will be put out they didnt know and your h2b's family wouldnt be very comfortable with her announcing her very private life to them who I assume will be strangers?
If you do it in a really nice way then she cant turn round and get mad at you.
xx

ooft!! she needs a dose of reality!! she'll get quite a shock when the babba arrives!! congrats to her, as it's lovely news, but it's bad taste to announce at your wedding

awww shes livin wiv th boyfriend? then yes u shud of invited him, if she was still at home then that diff x

well she's staying at his parents house only just x

Hahaha lala "mod" bunni - I'm loving it! ;)

Personally I'd pick option 1 and 2 xx

Personally I'd get hold of the local newspaper and place a congratulations page using the worst picture I could find of her, who you invited is truly up to you, there is no need to lash out because of it

I agree with Lala, but it would be AND not OR lol

I agree make sure everyone knows before the wedding xx

Glitterpix so as to not fall in the position of being like your sister, i would suggest telling her before the wedding that she should announce the pregnancy before your wedding or if it is going to be in conversation at your wedding then fair enough - but by no means is she to mention it in a BIG announcement way! I dont agree with that, also point out that it is your wedding day and she should have her own "limelight" day for her big news - if she wants to behave like a child them just pander to her like one ;0)

As for the boyfriend thing i dont think you should have had to invite him at all, thats your choice and there is no written rule to say you should whether they have been together a year, more or less. If your having an intimate wedding then thats exactly what you should have...... should be your choice, after all he's nothing to do with you, and if him and your sister have been on and off for a year then it doesnt sound very stable - although obvs the baby news may change this?? xx

I'm with the rest of you guys. Accidentally tell everyone now, and that way it's out before she can do it, and the gossippy bit will be over and done with before 'YOUR' day. Serves her right if her thunder gets stolen! X

Is she a bridesmaid?

I would just put on fb. 'gutted my sister won't be able to have some drinks with me the morning of the wedding but so happy for her and xxxx'

That way you havnt actually said she is pregnant but hugely insinuated it.

I think you should say to her that you want her to tell everyone before your wedding and tell her if she doesn't then you will!! As she is not making the announcement at your wedding and having your day turned into the SISTER SHOW!!! I would be absolutely p1ssed off if my sister did that to me! In fact I am not violent but if either my siter or brother chose to make an announcement like that I think I would be forced to slap them and ask them to leave!!! Never to be spoken to again!!
She sounds so selfish and not happy that she is not centre of attention! She maybe got pregnant just so she could be the centre of attention and steal the limelight!!! She seems very spoilt and extremely selfish!!! I reckon GET HER TOLD ANNOUNCE IT YOURSELF OR I WILL DO IT FOR YOU!! Rant over lol xx

Well I spoke to her this morning and she said she's deffo planning on announcing it at my wedding! :O
I've said to her that me and H2B have been planning and looking forward to this for many years, and that our wedding is our special day and we'd prefer it if she didnt tell people then. I told her it would be nicer to tell people before, as then people can congratulate her like she wants, without stealing my day!

She seemed very grumpy about this and just said 'oh, okay then'
I have a feeling this is going to be ignored, though. So, I'll tell my mum to strongly advise what ive said, and if shes still not told people next week or so, I shall do the facebook thingy as last resort ;)

You're very patient and thoughtful Glitterpix, if it were me I'd be straight on FB like yesterday.

In fact, I want to do it for you now! I can't believe how selfish she is, reminds me how irritated I was when my cousin was going around handing out STD cards to people at my sisters wedding last year, he even handed us one when we were getting our hair and makeup done! It's just not on. Grrrrrrr

xx

Thats is nasty! Cannot believe that she is planning to do that! Well you have warned her, so its up to her now. But I would definitely be doing the facebook thing if she hasnt told everyone by a week or so before your wedding! xx

Well after explaining to my mum, mum agreed that its *my* day to be congratulated and such, and I think she had a word with sister, as sister has today told everyone.. phew!

:)

I'm glad your mum saw your side and had a word with her and sure she will still get plenty of congratulations from family that wont have seen her since she made the announcement but the fact she isn't announcing it will mean the attention isn't taken of your and your h2bs day. xx

yey what a relief. You can both sleep happier now. Id have hated to be in that situation. Well done

What a relief hun, really happy for you and a great weight off your mind xxx