My OH, Chris, has quite a big, complicated family - his mum has been married three times and has kids from all the marriages (including kids that she adopted). His family can be quite intimidating, mainly because I'm from a small family (only child, one aunt & uncle on either side and a few cousins, but that's it!) but I get on with them okay. (Or so I thought)

Chris' sister basically brought him up (his mum has MS and was diagnosed just after he was born and struggled with him as a kid). Anyway, I met her first when we had been together for three months and got on ok with her and her kids. But then over the years, him and her have sort of drifted apart. She (And the rest of his family) live quite a way from us and he rarely goes back to visit, which they don't like, but they deal with it. And most of the time, if he goes up there, I go too, to be polite and that.

So last June, it was Chris' nephew's birthday (his brother's kid). Everyone made an effort to go, as the kid had been diagnosed with cancer. He'd just had an operation to remove the tumour from his brain, but he was all okay and running around like you wouldn't believe. Anyway, Chris' sister is obviously there and she comes over to say hi. And then turns around to me and goes 'sorry what's your name again?' everyone laughed it off, but it was pretty uncomfortable as you can imagine. She then goes on about how her new bloke's kid lives down near us and they're down there all the time. Chris wasn't too pleased about this - she always moans that Chris never makes enough effort to go up and see the family, but she obviously doesn't make any effort to see him when she's down here!

Sadly, Chris' nephew's condition got worse over the last six months and he died last week and it was the funeral yesterday. Which was unbelievably tough as you can imagine. We were all there, including his sister - who completed blanked Chris & me. Oh and her kids and new boyfriend turned up in jeans and t-shirts whilst everyone else was all dressed smart (which I thought was really rude but anyway...) Later, at the wake, me and Chris' brother (he has a few brothers...!) were saying goodbye when we were living and I accidently walked into him. So we started joking that we would 'de-friend' each other on facebook. His sister then turns around and goes 'oh I've already done that!' - with no humour, complete straight face and giving me the evil eye. This is true, she (and her kids) took both me and Chris off facebook a while back.

Now, I might be completely over-reacting, maybe she said it in jest, but it just really riled me. And it riled up Chris too. I just don't know what I've done to annoy her. There was an incident a while ago, where she asked Chris for some money. He said to her that if she needed it to let him know by a certain date and he would transfer it over. She never came back to ask him again and then spread it around the family that he refused to lend her the money. Since then, she stopped talking to him and de-friended us on fb etc etc. I don't know if she thinks that I told him not to lend her the money or whatever, but if that's what she thinks it's a complete lie! I did say to him that I wouldn't lend her the money, but it was his money and his sister, so whatever! I can't stop him, but I told him my opinion. But I have a feeling she completely blames me for it!

Sorry for such a long rant, but it's really got to me. I'm one of those people who doesn't do confrontation, I'm quite quiet and keep myself to myself, and things can get to me easily. She's really upset me (and Chris, who is fuming with her) - especially when it came after such a horrible day yesterday.

xx

wow that is such a shame! sounds like she is not very nice. but families can be oh so hurtful. you need to talk to her strait about what is going on and how it is effecting you and h2b

it also sonds like shes just lost a child hun and this is like takin her mind off things?? if u kno wat i mean

Becky - it wasn't her kid that was the one who died. It was her brother's kid. (like I said, complicated huge family!) And when she heard the news, she turned it all around - basically said that her family only want anything to do with her when someone dies!

She sounds like a horrible nasty piece of work to be honest ! what a horrible thing to say about any child never mind a nephew ! If thats the way she is your better off staying back from her and letting her get on with it wouldnt waste your time on someone lile that xx

i agree with becky xx

She sound like everything has to be about her my step sister was like that i have nothing to do with her anymore if ur h2b wants to stay in contact its his choice but if i was u i would stay well clear will make life so much easier then she can have noithing to say to u when u do see each other will make u happier by the sound off it as well sorry to be so blunt but i no what its like with a big family and have had a similer experence xx