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Wedding Forum - Sister in Law Nightmare...

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  1.  
    • KateK41
      CommentAuthorKateK41
      Getting married in 3 months
      Posted: May 6th 2020
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      edited
     
    Hi All
    New to this so please bare with! For reasons I don’t really want to get into, my fiancée, his brother and his brothers girlfriend - none of us speak. She caused a big drama about 2 years ago to which my fiancée wasn’t very happy with his brother for not taking any kind of responsibility for her actions - huge issues for a while. We have tried to offer the olive branch at least 3 times but she wasn’t interested (despite her being in the wrong) and we haven’t spoken since. It was uncomfortable at family meals etc so my partner decided he didn’t want to attend anymore which was sad because we miss out sometimes. Still have a great relationship with FMIL/FFIL but this has caused massive strain on the relationship between 2 brothers which obviously is heartbreaking.
    So we got engaged at the start of the year and the difficult conversation has come round of invites. Fiancée and his brother hardly talk anymore because of it all but I just don’t feel comfortable inviting her and fiancée agrees. The turmoil she’s caused within the family is just too much and a really selfish part of me just wants it to be about the 2 of us - without us being uncomfortable on our day. I know some people will argue that this might cause more problems between brothers but it can’t really get any worse. I think I may think differently if my fiancée wanted her there but he doesn’t. Any advice or anyone that’s been through something similar I’d be grateful. Thanks.
  2.  
    • HiddenID
      CommentAuthorHiddenID
      Getting married in 23 months
      Posted: 5 days ago
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    Hello,
    I’d love to speak to you about this. You’re a lot further along the line than we are (no date/venue etc) but I have discussed the prospect of inviting my brother. I have been with my partner for four years and they have never been introduced, I don’t speak to him because of his girlfriend (mother of his two children). I’d love to have my brother there and know if I didn’t invite him
    I would feel regret but I know if I didn’t extend the invite to his girlfriend and family then they wouldn’t attend and the blame would be put on me (as it always is). It’s so so awkward. Sorry I haven’t really given any advice I just saw your post and it resonated with me so I had to comment. X
  3.  
    • DGloomS563
      CommentAuthorDGloomS563
      Getting married in 23 months
      Posted: 4 days ago
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    Hi i'm so sorry to hear about your troubles, we had a similar situation only it was with my fiancee's cousin, they were very good friends and even lived together for a while, however his girlfriend was awful and caused lots of problems between them, stirring up trouble and even tried to break us up at one point, she made our lives a misery. We were unsure what to do as he was family to my fiancee however neither of them had apologized for the upset that they had caused us and laughed it off, we had a discussion and decided not to invite them, your wedding day is a special day and it shouldn't be hindered by people who haven't got good intentions, you should be able to relax and enjoy your day, do whatever is best for you both hun x
 
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