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Wedding Forum - Sister in law issues, advise please...

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    • MollyD25
      Getting married in 5 weeks
      Posted: Mar 3rd 2021
    I would really appreciate independent and unbiased thoughts/advise please.

    Very long story as short as possible, I have been with my partner for 12 years and we are due to get married July 2021 (rearranged from July 20). His sister is also getting married this year a few weeks before we do. We have never had a good relationship with his sister and partner, a lot has happened between us all that we do not see eye to eye on unfortunately and we don't really have anything to do with one another because so much has been said and done. My partner is extremely family orientated and whilst he currently does not have a relationship with his sister and struggles to get on with her, we invited her and her partner to our wedding on the basis we didn't want it to be a regret later in life, if things ever improve with the relationship, as he is always hoping they will.

    However they have told my partner than I am not invited to their wedding, only he is invited. They have said that it is because they don't have any relationship with me or tie to me, whereas they may not have a relationship with him but he is still family, which is why he is invited.

    He does not want to go without me as he is deeply hurt that I am excluded when he hasn't been, and on the basis we were doing what we believed to be the right and mature action and inviting them both to our wedding. He also thinks that by not inviting me to their wedding they have ended what chance there was for a better relationship in the future as it is a big statement to make and somewhat difficult to come back from.

    I am of course so saddened about not being invited and even more upset about my partner not going as he wants to do the right thing by me and how this is going to make him feel.

    From an impartial perspective what are people's thoughts on this situation? Would you feel as the sister in law, who had both her and her partner on her guest list for her wedding, entitled to be upset and think that it is really wrong? Are we entitled to be annoyed and feel disrespected?

    Or, as we don't have a good relationship, is what they have done fair? ..regardless of being her brother and their sister in law to be?.. And just because we felt it was the correct thing to do to invite them both to ours, it doesn't matter they didn't? :-(
    • KarenD454
      Got married 11 years ago
      Posted: Mar 4th 2021
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
    Ohhh this is a tough one but one I can relate to! Basically your partner needs to tell his sister that you are a part of his family and she shouldn’t be excluding you at any cost! To do so would deeply hurt him and make a difficult situation even harder! He has to be blunt with her telling her the truth
    • lala "mod" bunni
      CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
      Got married 9 years ago
      Posted: Mar 11th 2021
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
    Want you don’t want is for the blame to be laid at your door if he choices not to attend ....I’d Tell your oh if he wants to go ,go that although you are hurt she is still his sister ....then arrange to go out or away with girlfriends so you have a great time

    • KayleighM275
      Getting married in 7 weeks
      Posted: Mar 17th 2021
    It's a pretty d*** move in my opinion and it would bother me. I thought it was the correct move that family members get plus ones, especially if they've been with their partner long-term. I would understand if your hub was just a friend and you were his new girlfriend and hadnt been together long but that's not the case. I think it's quite rude to purposely leave you out. You're family :/ and you invited both of them to your wedding??!
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