First she hated the dress. Her parents loved it so she could say anything. She asked about a month ago because she didnt like the dress could she change half way through the wedding into something she did like! I didnt bite and said if she really felt the need. Then she wanted to buy her own shoes because said I had no taste - I skipped over that and thought dont bite, so said not a problem, the other BMs have all said can we go shopping together, apart from one who lives in NZ. So I sent an email stating not too worried about shoes but if you find an awesome pair of silver no more than two / three inches just get them.
What has has she just text me brought i lovely pair of purple shoes 5.5 inches they will go better with the horrible dress!!
Do I say I want silver shoes or just go tell her I actually think she is rude and cant she ever just this once do what i would like. I never even wanted her to be a BM. My H2B asked her and I couldn't get out of it!!!Or should I just leave it??
Just so mad
CommentAuthortweedwedding
Have you told your h2b what she's doing? If he asked her then surely he can make her toe the line for you!!
And if not then tell him that you'll tell her! You've got to tell her to back off and do what you want her to do, that's the whole point of BM's!!!!
Hope you get it sorted hun xx
CommentAuthorabby22
grrrrrhhhhh this is what is what i dread a bossy bm!!! my best friend is a diva so im sure i have this prob too! just tell her purple dont match, you will be having silver!! and if she wants to wear 5.5 inch heels... so be it coz she will end up sitting at a table all night with aching feet all by herself, she has to wear smaller heels for practicality she will be in them all day not for an a few hours like in a club!! lol xxx
CommentAuthorVicky
H2B just says Thea will not be rained in she normally gets what she wants.. That didn't help at all I was hoping for more support, I an completely see why no one has ever asked her to be a BM she is a nightmare.
CommentAuthorsbride
What a rude little cow, she needs bringing down a peg or 2.
She sounds like a right bitch and your H2B should really be a bit more supportive, although men do have a tendency to conveniently keep out of drama's like this (including mine)!! I would tell her its your day and if she doesnt want to toe the line like everyone else then she should forget being a BM... but thats just me!
CommentAuthorTotallyLovedUp
peh if thats the response i got i would tell her she isnt going to be a brdesmaid as i cant stand how much of a cow she is being! it i not her wedding it is yours! let her know how you are feeling and make it clear she eiher does as you ask or she wont be a BM! sorry but Thea normally gets what she wants?! WTF how much of a spoled little brat is she?! grr
CommentAuthormcquire81
Oops.. sorry MODS, got carried away, didnt mean to use a naughty word!
CommentAuthorEcoFreak
Is purple even part of your theme?? I agree with letting her wear such high heels - then she'll be sat in a corner out of your way! I think you've been extremely accommodating to her - even though she's been behaving like a stroppy 13 yr old (no offense to nice 13 yr olds!). I'd tell her to change the colour or wear what she wants for the whole wedding - cos she won't be a BM!
CommentAuthorVicky
My theme is blue her dress is Navy just below the knee so I guess will not look to bad its just she its already 5'10" so it going to be towering above me.
I phoned her this morning and she said basically that it didnt matter what she did because she is sister of the groom. I tried to says that is was my day etc and she said her brother would love the shoes end of subject. End of subject I thought that is what the bride was might to say!!!
CommentAuthorEcoFreak
Pah!! I would've demoted her there and then - end of subject! It doesn't matter what you do because YOU'RE the BRIDE! Trumps her! Wow... just think what a bridezilla she's going to be one day! xx
CommentAuthorJulie Walker x
tell her she is bloody rude! How dare she and who the hell does she think she is!!!!! GGGGRRRRRR that has really riled me. Tell her to go away if she can't go with what you request then she can wear her lovely prurple shoes as a normal guest would!
oh I do I do I dooooo!!!
oh I did I did I did!!
CommentAuthorfelicity.h
sack her. have you gone to your mil2b about it. i know she normally gets what she wants but if you get at mil2b about it first when it comes to sacking her your mil2b be might actually be well you asked for it and navy and purple wont go surely? is fil2b more strict with her?
CommentAuthormummy2Olivia_Lisa
u need to tell her 2 go whistle...........easier said than done i no but make sure u tell mil2b n fil2b n h2b that ur not havin her that way no1 can slag u off after cuz u warned them!!! x x x
How old is she may I ask? Id honestly think about demoting her to wreck her confidence about "grooms favourite sister can't do any wrong". I'd have a word with your H2B first though, tell him how much shes stressing you out and that you dont need that annoyance with everything you've got to organise, especially as shes opposing nearly every BM plan youve thought of. I agree with felicity, you do need to be more strict with her, especially as you didn't want her as a BM in the first place. If its a problem of offending the in-laws and H2B, talk to them about her behaviour first and remind them, this day only comes once (for most of us). xxx
CommentAuthorJane
I think to be honest your H2B needs to support you on this, if he cant support you over a 'little' thing like sorting out what his sister is wearing then he needs a kick in the pants! Its YOUR day, not hers and you need to be making the rules here, if she doesnt like your rules then she needs to be just a guest. Time to get assertive and tell everyone the way things are going to be. Why do people like her have to be so selfish?? Grrrrr If H2B is too nice to offend his sister tell him to grow some b a l l s lol, you have to be his priority now! x
CommentAuthormitch2509
just tell her shes sacked... imagin having the stress of her on the morning of the wedding, i dont think so !!!!
CommentAuthorx ashlil x
tell her she either has to wear silver 2/3 inch shoes or she can wear her purple ones but not be a bridesmaid. its your wedding and no-one has the right to dictate what they are wearing. it's your decision x
CommentAuthormcquire81
Well that just confirms what you need to do....SACK HER!! She obviously doesnt care about your wedding and therefore you shouldnt pay a second more thought to what she thinks or feels, its YOUR day and she needs reminding of that! You H2B needs to support you on this, its his day too and im sure he wouldnt want you stressed on what should be a lovely day for you both. Good luck x
CommentAuthorKimi
I wouldn't stick with that. Get rid of her. She doesn't deserve to be in your wedding let alone the wedding party. Such a stroppy cow.
The days are flying by, can't wait :)
CommentAuthorVicky
Spoke to H2B said I couldnt sack her, cause a bit of a discussion!! - she is 25 and has just informed me the our wedding is too early for her to get ready in time so she needs extra help. omg!! I think I am going to just ignore what she does and says. My Mum doesn't really like her (in fact was angry at H2B) - because she thinks she is slightly spoilt and always has to get her own way!! and mum said just let her do what she wants it will be easier but dress the other three bms how you want she will be the one to look silly on the day, plus i very much doubt she will even make it too the church for 11.00!!!
CommentAuthorTotallyLovedUp
:0 i cant believe your H2B wont let you sack her, or at least have a word with her and tell her to play ball! Who comes first, you or the over grown teenager? geez, i am 26 and would never behave like that. infact i wouldnt have acted like that as a teenager!! your mum is right, shes going to look silly if she is the odd one out, and by the sounds of it dolled up like some sort of beauty pagent candidate! Sorry but if my H2B wanted her in the weddng party that much, why doesnt he have her as a grooms-woman? that way he can deal with her pathetic little strops!
CommentAuthorEmsy5000
Personally i would be telling her it was my way or the highway either she wears what you want for YOUR pictures on YOUR day or she can just wear what she likes and not be a BM at all!!
Dyslexic
its spelt wrong
I No! I Now! I Know!!!!!
I am NOW MRS LONSDALE!!
CommentAuthorVicky
Don't get me wrong I want to go and say bye your no longer a bm but just dont think I could cope with the arguments afterwards. This way I look like the bigger person. Plus my other bm thinks she is just annoying... She wanted to go on the stag do that would have been brilliant but the boys wouldnt let her.. so i am stuck with her
CommentAuthorEmsy5000
wow she sounds special
Dyslexic
its spelt wrong
I No! I Now! I Know!!!!!
I am NOW MRS LONSDALE!!
CommentAuthorVicky
she is xx
CommentAuthorJane
How about a dodgy kebab the night before? Shame if she had a dodgy belly and couldnt make the wedding....... lol
CommentAuthorsuzky123
get rid of her. shes clearly trying to run the show. this is unacceptable. She can not wear those shoes. You have been specific with her about what will work with your colour scheme. She needs a bum kicking if you ask me and dont let her get away with anything else. You need to take control over her now im afraid even tho its difficult. It seems if you give an inch she takes not a year but miles and miles.
cant wait to be Mrs Evans less than 3 weeks woooo
start weight 10st 1.5 lbs
weight now 8st 4.5 lbs
total loss to date: 24.5 lbs now need to maintain!
CommentAuthorsuzky123
that should have said yard not year haha
cant wait to be Mrs Evans less than 3 weeks woooo
start weight 10st 1.5 lbs
weight now 8st 4.5 lbs
total loss to date: 24.5 lbs now need to maintain!
CommentAuthorTotallyLovedUp
1) they mind sticking her with you but wont have her with the stag party and 2) I am loving Janes idea lmao!!
We'll if you cant beat em...join em...and i dont mean with the shoes...play her at her own little game. Say she can wear what she likes and be a BM but shes not allowed in the photo's unless she wears your pick. x
CommentAuthorAttention seeker :)
im sorry but i would put my foot well and truly DOWN tell her it's silver shoes with the right heel hight or not to bother being a bridesamid what is it with bridesmaids telling brides what they want to wear.
It's your wedding for goddness sake and you have to make H2B back you up. The only reason these spoilt madams behave this way is because people let them.
im not seeking attetion i just like everyone looking at me
im married
im now Mrs Dove
no more wedding planning LOL yer right
CommentAuthorLisa Ramos
Do you think you could speak to your mil2b? If you have that kind of relationship, you could say that you are worried how the photos are going to look with her not wearing the same as the others and that she will stand out like a sore thumb. I must admit though that I would be more concerned with your h2b's attitude towards the situation. It's your wedding and if she isn't towing the line you should be able to sack her.
I love my lickle Ava
CommentAuthorEcoFreak
Blimey I'm 20 and I'd never throw a tantrum like her! I like the idea of letting her wear what she wants, if she stays out of the photos lol. How about instead of sacking her you say that she can be a grooms-woman instead - then h2b will find out how you feel! xx
CommentAuthorxox-Zoeee
i think youve left it long enough. just say no u carnt have 5.5 inch heels i would like you to what similar to what everyone else is having and as for calling her dress horrible what a cheek i would say well if hate it that much you could always stay in your clearly amazing much better then i could ever pick own clothes and not be a bm. grrrrrr shes annoyd me and i dont even no her. Put your foot down!! xxx
CommentAuthorVicky
Jane I love your idea.. That is so tempting.
Lisa I would love to speak to Mil2b but she worships that ground that her daughter walks on, which is why I think she is like she is.
I do give her some thing that when she throws a tantrum is it quite specatular.
I did try being firm and she said that she would speak to her mum and H2B about is. I have told H2B that he must said say NO TO THE SHOES. Will let you know what happens. This should be interesting
CommentAuthorUnknown
what a rude girl!
tell her it is your wedding and actually no she cant change because the others arent and she cant wear those shoes as they wont match and if she doesnt like it then tough. she has to out up with it or not be a bm. if that doesnt work tell h2b and get him to speak to her!
expalin it is your day and although she doesnt understand now she will one day when she gets married that it is your day...your way! xx
CommentAuthorVicky
Her wedding day - god forbid anyone to stand in her way.. I will be staying way away from that x
CommentAuthorTotallyLovedUp
would a comprimise not work? silver 5inch heels? lol at least they would be te right colour even if she would look a bit of a ho lol
CommentAuthorMagicFairies
She sounds like a rather annoying individual. Maybe she'll break her ankles in those stripper shoes and then you won't have to worry! It's your wedding and if shes going to be a bm it'll have to be your way. What a horrible thing to say criticising your bm dresses! she clearly doesn't actually want to be one but is just trying to stir up trouble. if your h2b is so intent on letting her get away with it, maybe let her get another dress and she can be part of his party, give her a job as an usher or something to keep her amused and out of your way! At the end of the day it's making her look like a horrible spoilt b*tch, but you can say you've tried to compromise. Good luck xxx
CommentAuthorUnknown
as much as i totally agree with all the comments about the way she is acting and understand why you dont want her to wear the shoes she has bought...i want my bm in nice, not high shoes aswell, i do disagree with the couple of comments about the shoes that she has bought.
My wedding shoes are 5 half inches and most of my shoes are high! just because they are high does not mean they are stripper shoes. None of my shoes are stripper shoes and dont think it is nice to say shoes are like that just because they are high! xx
CommentAuthorMrs Steph Lapworth
OMG what a spoilt bra t SIL or no SIL i would tell her your day your way but then on the other hand i would have to agree with your mum let her wear these shoes cos you will know how stupid she will look at the end of the day then when her and your h2b look back at the photos after the wedding maybe they will understand what you have been saying all along.
This is just something that i would do but i would sack her but NOT tell her let her wear the dress she likes with the shoes x
Love Steph xxx
28th May 2011
Is Now Mrs Lapworth xxx
CommentAuthornini
Tell her to wear what you have chosen for her or not be a bridesmaid. That way she is making the decision, not you, and if she has a strop and a sulk let her get on with it for a few weeks then phone her and ask her if she still is your bridesmaid. I can understand H2B not wanting to rock the boat and upset his family because nobody likes to do that but it is your wedding and she sounds downright rude. Tell her she can choose - be a bridesmaid and wear what you have chosen, or not be a bridesmaid and wear what she wants. Your in laws will not miss their own sons wedding because of that and I'm sure his sister wont either. Be strong! Good luck!
CommentAuthorAvril
i would tell her she is being a stupid cow and that you dont want her to be your bridesmaid anymore because she does not deserve it! then she can come in what ever she wants then and wont get under your skin on the day x
CommentAuthorVicky
Really upset H2b has said to her she can wear the shoes, he didn't even listen to me just said let my sister have her fun after talking to her. I feel betrayed.. Really upset
its your wedding, its about you having fun, not her. x
CommentAuthorJulie Walker x
nice to see where his loyalties lie then!
oh I do I do I dooooo!!!
oh I did I did I did!!
CommentAuthorXLittleMissMe!X
You know what I would say........................ Ooooo they are lovely purple shoes that will go lovely with any dress you pick. That's right you don't have to wear the horrid dress as you are no longer in the bridal party. If you want to wear what you want then feel free just don't think you are going to be in the lime light with the rest of us as I'm not having you sticking out like a sore thumb from everyone else. Then smile and walk away haha
CommentAuthorLeanneDickson
What a bitch. If she wants to wear what she likes then she cannot be a bridesmaid...the clue is in the name, maid of the bride!!! It might cause upset but tell her its either you wear what the rest of the bm's are wearing or you can't be a bridesmaid.
How about a dodgy kebab the night before? Shame if she had a dodgy belly and couldnt make the wedding....... lol
