Wedding Forum - SIL2B is such a pain!!!!! She makes me so...

Sorry everyone i just really need to have a rant and let everything off my chest. No one really needs to read this but im hoping it will make me feel even slightly better about everything.
I have been with matthew (h2b) for 6 years now and within that time we have had our ups and downs probably like most couples but we have got through them. Us as a couple are great its just my relationship with his sister is the worse it has been within the 6 years. I have always got the feeling by the way she acts towards me that she has never liked me. Her and Matthew are close but havent been as close as what they were before as they dont have as much time for each other now they have both moved out. I dont know what i have done for her to make her feel this way but i had had enough of it as of a couple of months ago when matthew had jury duty and i had not long gone back to work after being of on maternity leave. Anyway at the time she had just started her maternity leave so she said that she would look after our daughter (her niece) till matthew was finished for the day at court but i ended up telling matthew that i never wanted her (sarah) looking after our daughter ever. (i dont trust her and after putting up with her little put downs and looks that she gives me)
Anyway about 3 years ago back in april we went down to the lakes with matthews parents and her. We ended up clearing the air and i thought everything was sorted then but once we came back and the next few times i had seen her she went back to the way she was with all the dirty looks and put downs. Also when we came back from the dominican where matthew proposed we went round to his parents to tell them and as she had moved back there she was in so we told her the good news. Well that went down like a lead balloon. She was hardly happy but really she didnt show much emotion either. She did say congratulations but that sounded like it was forced.
Anyway that all blew over but recently she gave birth to her son which was fine but i kept having people asking me at my work about her over and over again as boyfriend's mum works at the same place as me and matthew. Then people was asking what i thought about her and so i said what i thought and that shes a b i t ch as thats my opion. I dont have any time for her and think shes just plain evil. I have talked to my sisters and mum about this and they think that she wont be happy until me and matthew are spilt up which i quite believe then her boyfriends mum (ruth who is a compulsive lier and sarah knows this) decided to start stiring things up and had even said that i was saying i wasnt sarahs sons auntie (which i did admit to saying cos technically im not and matthew doesnt see that he's my nephew and nieces uncle) and ruth also said that i wanted nothing to do with him! Which i didnt say.
I find it hard for matthew cos he's getting really upset and stressed about this and i have tried not to say or drag him into this but sarah keeps texting and calling him ranting and raving at him about me.
She has even said to matthew that she never wants to see me again which im fine about as if i dont see her then i dont have her puting me down and seeing the looks she gives me but on sat nite matthew said we were going to take our daughter to see the fireworks and then she decided that she wanted to go and meet up even knowing that i was going to the fireworks even though a few days before hand she called matthew asking if we were going to see their grandad on the friday as she didnt want to see me as eveything that had happened was still "too raw" for her. So when matthew had said to her that he didnt think it was a good idea meeting up as he didnt want to cause an argument she turned on him and said that she knew this would happen and that it was all my doing that they couldnt do things together as a family so in otherwards she wants to do things with my fiance and my daughter (my family) and i didnt even know he had said anything. So after all this later on on sat nite she decided that she wanted to talk to me and have it out so she ended up texting me on sunday saying the following " right claire fed up of this argument that you have casued all by yourself. Its about me but ive never been involved??? I know you've neer liked me but your out of order waiting until this special time in my life to cause problems! I want to know whats so bad that you would be so nasty especailly towards a newborn baby?? All i can say is u must really hate me. Therefore i think its about time you got things off your chest to my face like na adult. Are you willing to meet? Its not fair on Matthew to carry on this way"

I ended up sending a message back saying " just for a fact the only thing i have said about daniel is that im not his auntie as technically im not just like matthew has said hes not uncle to mynieces and nephew so believe someone that talks s h i t to you all you like i dont care. you may think that ive never liked you but thats not true either but i do believe you had already made up your mind about to dislike me way before you had every met me and it has never changed. If i remember correctly it was you that had said you never wanted to see me ever again which i was fine with but im not going to disappear every time you want to do things with my family. It was matthews decision not to meet up with you last night he didnt tell me about it till afterwards so you know im not coming in between your relationship with matthew and lilly and you already damaged that yourself by saying you never wanted to see me again. I no longer car what you think and dont see the point in meeting you cos your opinion isnt going to change about me and my opioin isnt going to change about you

Well if I were you I would agree to meet up with her, that way you cant be accused of not wanting to "sort things out". If you dont speak with her she may use this against you and say that you are unwilling to talk to her. Just tell her that all you want is for your boyfriend to be happy and that you dont understand where all of this has initally come from. Sounds like you feel the same way as she is making out that she feels towards you....you said you have no idea what you have done to upset her. Sounds as if shes not being very sisterly she should be happy for you both....if you guys have had ups and downs does she know about all this and is she just in some way worried for her brother (not that shes any need to be of course). Just trying to think why she would be being so hostile towards you for no reason?

She then sent " Claire this is not about last night as darren and i had already decided earlier not to meet up as we dont want you around daniel until you learn how to behave yourself. I just feel really sorry for matthew and i thought we could make it easier for him. Clarely you dont care enought tho. i honestly beleive as do many others do, that you have some kind of personality disorder that makes you behave the way you do. Its not mormal. In that case its not your fault but maybe you should see someone abou it?? I did say that i didnt want to see you as i was extremly angry by your nasty behaviour and this argument that you created by yourself in an attempt to spoil a special time for me and my family. It doesnt matter what way you look at it thats plain nasty! I hope your proud of yourself. The whole point in meeting up was not to kiss and make up so dont flatter yourself. It was for us both to get things off our chests face to face like adults so we could at least tolerate each other but yet again you have proved your immaturity and the fact you dont care by not bothering. You said i look down on you, right again claire. How could i not when you behave the way you do. Its also been said by many that your jealousof me that again im starting to believe. Anyway ive tried to make an effort with you yet again and you dont care enough to bother. i hope you realise its going to spoil lilly and daniels realationship when they are older thats what i think is so sad about it. I dont want that thats why i wanted to sort things out. Yet again you dont care enough. Its not just about you claire!"

i dont mind anyone commenting but just ot warn you there is more. After reading these texts i was getting form her i was getting so angry that i was shaking and i have never felt that was before and its not like i can talk to matthew about ti as i dont want to invole him cos then he or she cant say im dragging him into this. He knows she had sent me a messgae on sunday mornign and he knows i have replied but i havent said what i have said or what she has said as i dont want to put him in the middle. When i seen that she thougth i had a personality disorder then i had to laugh and tell matthew but deep down thats upsetting and when she said that they had already decided not to go to the fireworks well they hadnt told matthew that as thats when she started off by saying that i was getting in the way of their relationship

I kno what you mean about not wanting him to be in the middle, its difficult id hate to be in that position, i think i would definately need to have it out with her face to face, its very easy to say things like that via text or whatever but she may not be so vocal when you are standing there right in front of her! seems like she is doing everything she can to stir things up!!

She told her parents but her mum has altzheimers so im not sure what she can and cant remember but i had to ask matthew if they knew about it so they only got her side of things but matthew just said its ok his dad knows what shes like!?!?!?!?!? I just dont know how everyone can know what shes like and yet everyone just sits back and lets it happen

She then sent back " You have so claire i know you guys have spoken about it so dont start your lies! Everytime he tries to talk to you about it you start your bubbling. Im not fooled by your fake tears! Oh and your so insecure about yourself thats why yuo behave the way you do?????! Those are not my words! Plus u started this whole argument! Falling out with me without even seeing me! Only you could start an argument on your own! Too much time on your hands?! I dont think im all that far from it. Dont you dare judge me as u have never made an effort to get to know me. The fact i actually have friends other than on FB and have a social life kinda proves its not me that has the personality disorder! Your a silly little girl with too much time on your hands. Bout time you grew up! Im not wasting anymore time texting you. Anything else u have to say about me you can say it to my face but then again your a typical bully a coward."

she also said "sorry very important bit i forgot to say. I dont want ever want u and matthew to spilt up. He loves you and is happy and thats all i want for him. I also would never want that for lilly."

She has a funny way of showing this

I sent back before she had said she didnt want matthew and me to spilt "this argument actually satrted because people asked me what i thought about you and i told them but looks like the truth hurts and just because i dont see or talk to my friends all the time doesnt mean that they arent there for me when i need them or they need me i would hardly call that as having a personality problem but if it makes you feel better about yourself then carry on thinking that

she then said "No madam this argument started long time before i heard anything from your work! U started it all by yourself for what reason i still do not know! Anyway u just proved your a lier as u said eariler u didnt bit ch about me. Your just being nasty now and i have no time for it. Ive tried my best to make things toreable for those around us but your only intrested in your selfish self. Goodnight!

madam? who is she to say that, shes winding me up now hahaha she just twists everything you say, its as if she has got an audience that she is showing off to x

She probably did when she was texting me.

I then sent a text back saying " i actually said i didnt bit ch about you to matthew which i didnt but if someone is going to ask my opinion then im not going to lie to spare your apthetic feelings. after we had it out when we were in the lakes i actually thought things would be better but after seeing you after then you went back to what you was like before. you saying you want nothing to do with me and never wanted to see me again was the best thing i had heard from you so why dont you do us both a favour and delete my number and stay out of my life

she then said "i also thought things would be better after the lakes and still dont know what changed. i wont be staying out of your life as matthew and lilly mean alot to me so get used to it. Your being very nasty claire and im not going to stoop and be nasty back. Believe me there are plenty of hime truths you need to hear but im not going to of my way to hurt you like you are to me. i'll say it again for the last time. Goodnight!"

Then tonight i find out form one of my friends that i work with that sarahs boyfriends mum (ruth the complusive lier) had been talking to someone else at work and was saying that matthew and me was having alot of problems with all this and was arguing about it which we did once when all this kicked off first time round btu then we were fine after that and hse had also said i was ruining sarahs and matthews realitionship

Ugh I hate my sil. I so understand your post.

Don't waste your time text pingponging her, chances are shes sitting with her oh right now going "omg look what she wrote" and playing the victim (in my experience)

Agree to meet her, then not only can she not say you haven't made the effort, she also doesn't have time to formulate answers or think of ways to twist your words. Even if you just go to make her squirm. She has problems clearly.
xx

She is like a robot i dont even think she has any feelings so i doubt she would squirm. Her grandma died and she didnt cry when she died adn also at her funeral. Matthew came back from the hospital after she had died and he was in bits also i was there when she told him that their mum has alzheimeirs and still no tears. Its like she has no emotion at all

im not suprised you havent got any escape from it, now the compulsive liar is sticking her oar in too!!

sounds like a robot that needs a really good slap.

id do the opposite act like shes my best friend!!!! even though people know what she is like she will eventually slip up major and she will be found out

hope your ok though!!

xx

seems like she bit ches about everyone! no maybe not the best idea, shell probably kick off again!!

hope works ok for you tomorrow with no dramas!!

no not at all, still the same person !

Pfft as if having a kid makes bitchiness dissappear! it most certainly does not. Probably makes it worse in some situations lol
*cough*I have kids *looks shifty*

Im sorry you are going through this
It sounds like she is a bully - i agree that it also sounds like she may have had an audience through these messages which just makes her even worse

I can understand you not wanting to meet - id be the same, i hate confrontations and always feel that i come out of them looking worse as im not good at defending myself
As for her saying you have a personality disorder - that is extremely out of order - who does she think she is? a psychiatrist? She clearly doesnt know what she is talking about as staying inside isnt a sign of a personality disorder, I think half the uk may have to be diagnosed with one if it was
Hope you feel a bit better now

i wud just show h2b ure phone and say read texts!! i tell my h2b troubles i have wiv his sister