Some of you who have been around here for a while you may recall me saying about the issues I had with my SIL last year. If not, quick breakdown.

My brother passed away in 2008, taking his own life. Since then, I've been busy with my family, my training etc, always thought of them. Then last year, we were invited to my great niece's christening last minute. Whilst there, Our side of the family felt pushed out, my sil did not have time for us, hardly spoke with us either. I sent a message asking if I had done something wrong, it all kicked off :-

She said that our side of the family did not care for them, had not bothered with them at all.
Both her and the kids wanted answers regarding his death, to which I pointed out we did not have them, the only one who did is no longer here to say why.
She wanted nothing more to do with us, we were bad people.

Then a couple of weeks later, I invited her to ours as it was my daughter's birthday and having a get together. She came round, apologised, we hugged, all was good. We met up in the school holidays, kids had fun together. Then they went back to school, busy times again, we met a few times when hubby was djing.

Then just before Xmas, my step dad went into hospital, I only found out by calling on the off chance and mum told me. My sister did not find out for another couple of days, the important people to tell in my eyes were HIS children. So, sil then finds out, she kicks off, posts all over th book face how she should have been told, might not have been able to do much but should have been told. Then saying how she's had enough, my brother was right about his family!?!?! Wtf?

Since then, I've always tried including her in things, inviting her to things, then she makes an excuse. Anyhoo, this Friday hubby is djing again, I've invited her as it is my son's birthday the following day, heard nothing back from her. Then yesterday I messaged asking if her daughter was doing the same thing mine was doing tomorrow, she's just messaged back now saying yes she is, but she won't be attending as she cannot make it. She then replied to the other post saying she could not make Friday as too up in the air with things at home ( both her parents have been poorly).

Now, how I see it is this. I am trying to keep in contact, involving them, she's not bothering, yet when we don't involve her, she kicks off.

I just hope my brother can see up there how she is being as well. I'm going to continue inviting her to things, involving her in things,but I know she will only say no. At least I am trying. I've still got her Xmas gifts as we've not had a chance to get together, I'm going to take them tomorrow and give them to my niece.

you are absolutely doing the right thing and your brother would be proud of you .....

even though Mr lalas family have nothing to do with me i still send birthday cards ( from him ) and i buy the nieces nephews christmas gifts

People like that really back me off!! My brother and his oh are like that!! Like when I was 8 1/2 months preg and invited them around so their little ones could come play with my lo and their reply was that be great you could have the kids for few hours. Erm... No that's not what I said but I was so gobsmacked I didn't no what to say and told my mum n she told them they were out of order to expect that of me at 8 1/2 months preg when I was inviting them all around. And so it never happened and now they moan I don't invite them ( why would I when they turn everything into babysitting) and then when they moved into their place I asked when we would get an invite to be told its an open house, yet they say they don't come over as don't get invited erm talk about double standards!! Any who back on track lol I think ur doing the right thing and the adult thing, ur sil is obviously looking for excuses to kick off and cause issues, but let her okay her games as u know and ur brother can see that ur doing an amazing job keeping the piece and she has to live with how immature she's acting!

You're doing the right thing GF and it shows what a lovely, caring person you are. She might continue to keep saying no and just throw your kindness back in your face but at the end of the day at least you know you've done all you can, and you know your brother will be watching down on you and be proud of you xx

Update today.

My daughter and my niece were playing a tag rugby match today, they are both at different schools. Anyhoo, I still had their Xmas gifts as neither of us had met up. My niece was riding her bike so I said I would pop the gifts into home on the way back down. I got there, rang the door bell, heard talking and thought they would ignore me, sil came to the door, went in for a bit. Had a natter and gave the gifts over.

I made the effort, maybe things will change, who knows. But at least I can hold my head up and say I've done this and not ignored them.

you are doing the right thing, just keep doing what your doing, you cant be blamed or accused then, you have done your best, hold your head up high and be proud of yourself, i know your brother will be proud of you for it xxx

You are the bigger person here so if she still is being silly you know you have done your best x