I had a wee rant last night about my mum's invitation wish list and I was thinking about it today and she's got lots of children that she wants to invite to the evening do.
Our evening reception is starting at around 8pm and won't really get going properly 'til at least 9pm with the buffet around 10pm. I just don't really feel it's appropriate to be asking children under high school age to a party that starts that late, even if it is a Saturday.
What do you think? (I'd do a poll but I don't know how to, is it a Power User thing?)
CommentAuthorbarbie86
We're having a strict no-children policy bar very close family (my cousin who will be 12, and my OHs cousin who will be 11). Some of my OHs cousins aren't being invited to the evening do because they're young, and we don't know them, and I don't want children running around. Close work-mates of my OH will have a 3 year old by then (isn't until 2014; she's pregnant atm), and their child won't be invited.
It's in a very posh 5* hotel and we're having the entire hotel, so I don't want kids running about. It won't be starting until 7.30 or 8, and because we have the entire hotel, we're having the DJ until 1am, so it will be a late one. It's just not a suitable place for children, and I'm not the biggest fan of children I'm afraid lol.
Bottom line? It's a cliche, but it's your day and you should be deciding who comes, not your mum
CommentAuthorKaya
Forum Poll
Children at evening do?
Should I have children at the evening do?
Poll Results
Total Votes:
38
Yes, I'd invite them
45%
No - you're right - it's too late for young children
55%
Now Mrs Cobb!!!!!! :-D
CommentAuthorKaya
Done a poll for you hun x
Now Mrs Cobb!!!!!! :-D
CommentAuthorMrsMelodyWalker
I've picked No, it is quite late for young children. I'm having children at mine but it starts at 7pm and most guests bringing children are either having them picked up by 9pm to go home with a babysitter/grandparents or they are going to all leave slightly earlier x
All of my dreams come true the day I married you, Mr Walker
5.11.11
Remember Remember The 5th of November
Personally if I was invited to a friends wedding I would not bring my son (age 11) unless I knew that he would have, others similar his age to keep him entertained, as I would want to let my hair down. If it is a family members wedding, then I would defo take him with us, at least until the meal or approx 9/10pm.
CommentAuthorSpecialSundae
I know. I think I've been over-compensating because our families are contributing but the number of people she wants to invite (130 day and 120 evening) is WAY over what she's contributing.
I'm absolutely delighted to have kids during the day, but we're trying to keep them entertained. In the evening, there's nothing during the evening to keep them entertained and it'll be a really late one.
I've been going through and being ruthless with her list anyway, but I think we're going to say "No" to children in the evening.
Some of her evening guests we have to say yes to because she invited them to the engagement party and they gave us gifts so it'd be rude not to invite them in the evening.
CommentAuthorMel D
edited
We haven't invited anyone under 18 to the evening do ... and there'll only be six people under 16 at the day. I don't like children so have avoided inviting them where I could!
Got married Sat 28/05/2011
Renewing vows Sat 29/05/2021
We're planning WELL in advance!!
CommentAuthorSpecialSundae
Thank you Kaya!
CommentAuthorHayley
We will be inviting a few young children to the whole event but this is due to friends and family travelling 400/500 miles for the wedding. So the decision as to whether or not to bring them is with the parents. All the younger children that live in our area will not be invited, there might be a few exceptions but thats about it. I love watching them running around on the dance floor and playing but don't like having to watch them try and sleep on the chairs x
CommentAuthorSpecialSundae
I'm inviting some kids all day, it was more just inviting kids with parents who only have evening invitations. Our venue is in the countryside with nothing nearby other than the self-catering accommodation which will be reserved for close family and the wedding party.
CommentAuthorHalloween_Bride
We are having 30 children at our wedding & the reception, we are getting married at 2:30 and reception will start at about half 4, all the possible babysitters will be at the wedding anyway lol
Little Miss StressHead
I speak my mind if ya dont like it then tough
Men cant live with them, cant legally kill them
I'm like Marmite you either love me or hate me!!
CommentAuthorJilly17
OMG! Special Sundae! when you said she was inviting everyone she knew I didnt think you meant EVERYONE! ha ha. Wow they are crazy numbers, no wonder you were so shocked when she gave you the list! I invited my cousins to the engagement but they wont be invited to the wedding. We did have a quandry about it but then thought if they were invited to something it is better than being invited to nothing at all!
CommentAuthorFuture Mrs Doublé
I've picked no, because if it starts that late, they'll be tired and annoying I reckon asking parents to leave
Soon to be Mrs Gary Doublé
Everything is now booked
Getting really stressed and excited now
CommentAuthorMrsSnedden2B
I am having kids at mine cos i think kids make a wedding watching the dance ect. I am having 6 under the age of 16 all day and there will be about 15 more at night but they all live in with 15 of our venue x
CommentAuthorMrsBroady2B
I took my little girl to my cousin's wedding 2 years ago and she was just over 2. She loved every minute of it and every one loved dancing with her. She's always been very good and been able to go sleep with noise going on, so when she got tierd she fell asleep in her buggy. Last year when my uncle got married my girl was nearly 4, and she was there flower girl. Yet again she stayed till the very end and was a little angle. And people loved her being there. I also had a 4month old too, but I do think he was too young so he went after the wedding breakfast . When I get married next year, anybody who has children of whatever age, (I dont mind) will all be invited. It's then there choice if they want to bring them or if they would rather have a child free night. Which I think a few opt for the second choice.
CommentAuthorCroc
only if you want to... if ya dont then dont invite
"better a witty fool, than a foolish wit" shakespeare
CommentAuthorHappilymarried Mrs G
I picked yes BUT that was a yes i would invite children who i know and care about...... this is obviously different in your case as its your mums guest list, so would you even know the children? If not then i would have picked no, as you dont want lots of children running around who you dont even know. I am inviting my friends and families children to my wedding, but then i have children myself, and when we picked out our venue we had children in mind as well, therefore it is not a fancy hotel and we wont be worried about breakages etc.... so obviously there is a difference there. I also know that quite a few of my friends are planning on getting baby sitters so that they can let their hair down and have fun, but for some that is not an option... I love a lot of my friends children dearly and my day for me would not be complete without kids running around enjoying themselves, but that is just me and everyone is different.
CommentAuthorSpecialSundae
I wouldn't mind so much if I knew them, but a lot of them are my mum's friends from synagogue who she feels SHE owes invitations to, but I feel no such compunction.
CommentAuthorx ashlil x
i am inviting children but again it is up to the parents if they want to bring them. Everyone coming to my day is coming to my evening so if they want to send them home with babysitters later on thats fine. But then again my own children will be 6 and 3 x
CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
we are having a child free wedding ( well Mr lala`s 2 nieces and nephew are coming) all of his cousins have children but none of them are being invited
I picked yes but thats only because i'm having 10 children and they are invited to the whole day however I wouldnt invite anymore!!! They are kids who are special to us!!!
CommentAuthorSpecialSundae
We're not having a child-free wedding by any means. We're having lots of children during the day and entertainment for them. It's whether it's inappropriate to invite them at night.
CommentAuthorNetta
We are having a few children involved in the wedding party (2 of whom are mine) and they are staying during the day, and there will be lots for them to do. However, they will all be heading home by about 7ish as, apart from it being a very long day for them, it gives the grow'd ups time to relax.
Think it depends on what age they are tbh, the eldest of ours will be nearly 11 and I personally believe that being up to the early hours of the morning surrounded by adults/alcohol/loud music etc, is a tad inappropriate at that age.
CommentAuthorkrazykitty
im in a right pickle about this because i have my two cousins as my junior bridesmaids (finally learnt to stop calling them flowergirls) who are 10 and 8 and my other cousin who is 7 but ry doesnt want certain kids to come as they are awkward and a royal pain in the proverbial!! the thing that is worrying is how can you say no kids and then have my family there (though they are coming 2 n a half hours to join us!) so how could we go about it without actaully saying no kids or not your kids?? Although he decided that he dont want there mums to go anyway which i think will cause probs as then his cousins wont go lol. ah well might solve problem haha
i cannot wait to marry my best friend
i love you ry!!!
engaged midnight 2009
Mrs Ryan Sheader (to be) lol :D
CommentAuthorkrazykitty
plus im in two minds as i dont like the idea of the kids falling asleep in seats cos parents are too happy getting drunk or seeing there parents drunk as it not how it sposed to be!! My parents would never have done it!!! lol im turning into my nan haha!
i cannot wait to marry my best friend
i love you ry!!!
engaged midnight 2009
Mrs Ryan Sheader (to be) lol :D
CommentAuthorLiz3yy
I don't think having children at the evening do is a bad thing in general, I went to a wedding last year where one if the guests had his 5 year old triplets with him. They ran around a bit as kids do but were very well behaved and didn't cause any bother.
I guess it depends on the setting and timings. Our evening reception is plannes to be a late one though it won't be anything formal so having kids there won't bother us
Can't wait until the day I become Mrs. Johnson :)
CommentAuthormrs handforth
ive got about 14 children coming to whole wedding as its my sons 6th birthday on same day,but some of the children will be leaving around 9 ish,and most are family,x
CommentAuthorXLittleMissMe!X
I'm inviting them and leaving it up to the parents to decide what is best for their own kids. As we are in a hotel most of the kids will be going to bed with one of the parents/friends keeping watch over them etc but I do think that it is up to the parents at the end of the day. I can't see one late night hurting them too much or if they really are getting tired the parents will take them home. If you are not sure what to do why don't you ask the parents what they think and if they would like a child free night etc?
CommentAuthorMrsSaraParry!
We're not inviting anyone under the age of 18 to our evening 'do (including my niece and nephew) and the only children there through the day are going to be my bridesmaids, so obviously they'll be there all night too. That decision wont go down too well when other people find out but i'm afraid its tough. I'm a teacher and spend all day, every day with a class of 7/8 year olds so I don't want to be surrounded by them on my wedding day! Also some of our guests (my friends and colleagues) are also teachers so they don't want to be surrounded either. Myself and H2B are paying for all of wedding (with the exception of my dress which mum paid for) so that means we get to make all the decisions. It's the easiest way to do it... Good luck, hope you sort it out :o)
CommentAuthorTrish Goddard
I invited kids to mine..... but MOST have RSVP'ed saying they are not bringing the kids as they wanna have an good evening without having to worry what they are up too...
so looks like its adults only.. Get the Vodka Rolling lol xxx
I'm having children at ours, we have 4 anyway and for us we want to include them. Additionally we have family members coming from afar with children and we didn't want to ask them to make alternative arrangements for the kids. I take the point about it being too late, but most of the familes with kids have booked a room, so I imagine they will leave as it becomes too much. We have hired in a qualified creche and I'm doing them thier own sweetie buffet table with cupcakes, and they'll have loads of crafty things to do and stuff to keep them occupied, there won't be a need for them to be running in and out of the main room (creche is in a smaller room adjacent) so I hope the parents will have chance to relax too. Each to their own, it's such a personal preference!
Met Dec 04~Engaged Feb 05~Finally getting married 3rd Sept
Start Weight ~ 08.03.11 *198lbs* Current weight 181lbs
lost 1st 4lbs !!!!
CommentAuthorSpecialSundae
Just to be clear, I was never suggesting not having children in general, just not giving children evening only invitations!
CommentAuthorRachie :D
We're letting the ones there during the day stay on the night (only 7 in total) but kindly asking people coming to the evening only not to bring their children as we want a relaxed atmosphere plus I seem toi attract the children and end up looking after them all and I really dont want to be doing that on our Wedding Day
9th June 2012 when two worlds collide
The Crazy Cat Lady and the Transformer Man!
CommentAuthormym72
We're having a child free wedding - but not through choice. It's just that we're getting married 130 miles away from home and there's only 20 of us - and we did invite my cousin's two kids and h2b's cousin's little boy - but they've both decided to leave the kids with their grandparents (in law side of the family).
Our evening do is back in Leeds when we get back from honeymoon - and we're inviting everyone, even the kids. Once we get the rsvp's back and know how many are coming we'll even make up some goody bags etc for them. I think it's up to their parents to decided if it's too late for them - but if they're happy to bring them then we're happy to have them there.
CommentAuthorHunny Bunny
I didn't read it as if you did, my 4 children and 1 bridesmaid are the only children attending my wedding reception, as we are limited to numbers, the rest (about 20 so far) are evening only. My post just mentioned what I was planning, I wouldn't like to comment on weather is is appropriate or not to invite children to the evening reception.
Met Dec 04~Engaged Feb 05~Finally getting married 3rd Sept
Start Weight ~ 08.03.11 *198lbs* Current weight 181lbs
lost 1st 4lbs !!!!
CommentAuthorsuzky123
i wouldnt invite them as the parents cant relax properly and let their hair down. You will also lose guests taking the kid shome when they are tired which may affect your atmosphere
cant wait to be Mrs Evans less than 3 weeks woooo
start weight 10st 1.5 lbs
weight now 8st 4.5 lbs
total loss to date: 24.5 lbs now need to maintain!
CommentAuthorSuzie Bear
We've got ALOT of children coming to the day. They're just gonna stop right thru. It's up to the parents if they want to make arrangements to pick them up. We haven't invited any to the night x
is Mrs Suzie Bear!!!!
Gotta be pink!!! :0)
I think I blinked and missed our wedding!! lol
CommentAuthormym72
I definitely think it's up to the parents if they want to bring them along - but it is good to invite them. When my son was little it didn't harm him to have the occasional late night at weddings or parties. And sometimes it's good for people to bring their kids with them - you can still enjoy yourself with your kids with you (ok so you can't get blind drunk - but you don't need to to have a good time anyway).
CommentAuthorFuture Mrs Doublé
Most of the kids we're having through the day live at least 2 hours drive away so they will probably stay at night :)
Soon to be Mrs Gary Doublé
Everything is now booked
Getting really stressed and excited now
