I'm right at the beginning of my planning and have yet to decide on my bridesmaids. So far I have my sister and my only two cousins. My dilemma is if I should ask my closest friend. To give you some background on this, she split from her long term partner suddenly about two years ago and has been single ever since. As she is the only single friend left it isn't easy for her which I understand but she is very critical of all other relationships and is very vocal regarding this, because of this her and my fiance don't see eye to eye as he can be quite vocal on telling her to keep her nose out. I never imagined getting married without her standing by my side but I feel it's hypocritical for her to be very involved in the day with her believing many choices we make as a couple are wrong. Any help here ladies? x
CommentAuthorMrsThomson2B
I think you have to respect her choice and her yours. To say it would be hypocritical would be unfair this would be like saying you want your non- religous friend as BM but can't because you are getting married in a church or the other way around.
I think you need to sit down with your friend and tell her that you would love her to be a part of your special day but she has to think before she speaks and has to reign in the critisism of yours and other people relationships. Maybe she was just really hurt with her break up and can't imagine how anyone can put their trust in someone else anymore. Sit down and have a chat and take it from there xx
CommentAuthorElinor Claire
If you feel that you want her at your side then you need to talk to her about it. She needs to understand that you need her to be supportive. Maybe you can answer any concerns that she has and then say that the door is closed on them.
30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
It was the day that I became Mrs. Dixon.
CommentAuthorInDreamland
If you want her by your side then ask her but also tell her what concerns you have but maybe frame it so it's also about how she feels, say that you don't want to pressure her into doing something she's uncomfortable with xx
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
I would say if you are having doubts then dont do it. You dont say how long until your wedding but your bridesmaids will be very important and so many posts on here are about brides getting upset with their BMs. If you do want her maybe just accept that she may not be as hands on and involved as you would like but that is jus the way it is going to be
CommentAuthorRachaelC80
I say NO!!! You're already concerned about things, I can't see the situation getting any better??
I had a friend used to be my best friend, who was very judgemental. I wanted her to be at my Wedding but couldn't be bothered to turn up for my Hen Do(she had been working all week, hmmm, who doesn't??) so I told her not to bother to come to the Wedding. We haven't spoken since.
CommentAuthorChristinaB38
i would speak to her about it - she can always say no.
I would hope that she knows this is about you and as a friend respects your wishes
CommentAuthorCatherineR
The best advice has already been given - Speak to her about it and put your point across gently. If she's accepting to what you've said, maybe arrange for you, your fiancee and her to meet for coffee to discuss the conflicting sides? Clearing the air would really help I think xx
Married my wife on 15.08.15
Honeymooned on the Isles of Scilly :)
CommentAuthorclairenina
I think it depends on how comfy you are in speaking to her about keeping her opinions to herself and not spoiling your day. If she can't, then is it worth potentially ruining your day having her as a bridesmaid, and worrying if she will be upsetting the applecart
