So husband and I got married almost three weeks ago and it was a dream! I still can't believe it even happened! And the honeymoon was fantastic as well.
One thing that still plays on my mind is my 'best friend'. She was going to be my MoH but I made my SIL MoH instead because my friend was too unreliable and just seemed a bit lazy and disinterested about it all. She booked the wrong hotel and expected people to give her a lift to the last supper and venue, more like demanded. She didn't turn up to the last supper because my mum accidentally told her to go to the wrong restaurant (easy mistake, we thought we were in Town South when we were in Town Central) and she had a massive hissy fit about it.
On the day everyone came over to get ready. Both SILs and myself had our hair done and I was doing my makeup. My little bridesmaid was having her hair twirled into a half up half down style with a hair slide at the back (last minute decision) whereas all the adults were having their hair down but curled. For the umpteen time she leans over to me and says "See, I want my hair like that." to which I've said no. Before sounding like a brideziller she did want to look similar to the adults, now she wanted to look like a child. My aunt and mum heard and just looked annoyed. There was a dress malfunction with my SILs and my friend just got in the way, asking questions about the malfunction when my mum and aunt were clearly stressed and just being judgemental. The cars arrived when my last SIL was being sown into her dress and I told her time after time to get into the car so we could free room in my flat.
Everything went well, got married, had photos, meal was devine. One of my evening guests arrived awkwardly early when we were still having our meal. I got him a seat and put him next to my friend "I don't want to sit next to HIM!" she said. My guests is not rude or unpleasant, but I said "But you're the person he knows." she threw a hump and kept her back intentionally to him. My blood's beginning to boil. We did the speech and husband and I began giving presents to the bridal party and involved guests. I gave my friend her present when, instead of saying thanks she said, pointing to her boyfriend's placename "You spelt his last name wrong, he hates it when people do that." to the point of telling her to get lost I said "If that's the only thing I've done wrong planning this wedding then I think I've done alright." and I walked away. Throughout the night her and her boyfriend just kept themselves to themselves, looking awkward. I tried talking to them and getting them involved with other people but they just seem disinterested. She did dance now and then though.
The next day husband and I came home from our honeymoon night and my mum dropped some stuff off. My friend and her boyfriend stood next to my mum's car. I tried to glance over and hope to share a few words but they didn't seem keen. Mum then went home and they said bye.
I'm still sore about her behaviour, especially about her present which took me so much time to make. My parents and other family members were annoyed with her and everytime I tried with her it just blew up in my face. I'm thinking of having a word with her about this but I'm just not sure. I need some advice from my fellow brides/wives.
CommentAuthorPoPoem
Im upset for you that your day was tainted but hey...she sounds awful.
If she is a genuine friend she's worth speaking to about it, if you feel that maybe our friendship has come to an end then no skin off your nose.
You need to make the decision as to whether you are prepared to probably argue it out and recover from it.
I would enjoy being married though first : )
CommentAuthorStephHsoon2bBodkin
I cant believe she would do that on your wedding day, she should be ashamed of herself. Its your and your Hubbys day! It angers me people like this because i know someone exactly like that..
I think your should talk to her. Find out where you both stand and find out why she caused problems on the 1 day you want it to be problem free. you shouldn't of had to go through that. Its so bad to feel that your Best Friend could do something like that to you.
I hope it gets sorted xx
Found the man of my dreams
Getting Married on the 13th June 2015
CommentAuthorHayley Elizabeth
I think you handled yourself exceptionally well, don't let her upset you anymore than she already has by mulling over things. It's happend and you can't turn back time but you don't want this upset to be the thing you remember most about your wedding day.
She sounds like a spolied brat who sounds as if she is jealous and instead of supporting you, has let the jealousy eat you up.
If she's your best friend then you need to ask yourself if her bratty behaviour is really worth losing a friend over. Maybe just take some time to cool off then go for a drink together just the two of you and express how she made you feel xxx
CommentAuthorDanni13
Oh wow!! What a cow.
To be honest, it sounds like it may have been brewing (with her being disinterested etc..) and maybe its a means to an end?
I've recently realised that a friend I had for 20 years is just no longer my friend, for her own reasons (unknown to me). I've decided to leave it because I don't need people like that in my life.
I find it hard to believe she will see the wrong in her actions, and sounds like an argument is the last thing you want with someone so manipulative. If I were you, I'd leave it and concentrate on the people who make you happy and your new huband!
Wow , what a female dog! I would if just told her to get lost if it was me!
Met June 2009 on my Birthday,Met again July 2009 and got
together, May 2010 Moved in,Jan 2011 got pregnant,
August 2011 Got our own place, 2011 Had our Baby Girl,
Dec 2011 Got engaged, July 2015 Getting married! Yay!
CommentAuthorsarah
Weddings are stressful to a lot of people involved. You already knew she would be disinterested in the wedding, but do you know why? Does she have something against weddings or is she sad she isn't engaged/married already? Her behaviour during your wedding wasn't great but it wasn't the worst ever either. I think what's more important is your history with her. Is she a friend or your frenemy? If she's a good friend I'd forget about it, but if she is a frenemy and your relationship is all about the drama then it's time to end it.
CommentAuthorRennie1989
edited
Thanks for the messages. I think I just needed to get it off my chest.
She's been a very good friend to me. She can be ditzy sometimes and because I know that I forgive her a lot. We've had some right laughs and I think it just really upset me when she was being more difficult than necessary and not really thinking about what she was doing or saying. I just want to remind her, more than anything else, that she needs to think before she acts because some people may not be as forgiving as I.
Sarah - She did say to me a few times that she hoped her boyfriend would propose to her on my wedding day. I didn't mind, as long as it weren't during the important parts of mine and my husband's day. It never happened, so I don't know, that could have been a factor, but I think I'm learning a new side of her of that she gets jealous of other peoples' days and occasions. I could be wrong. I still want her as a friend (wow, I sound so immature right now) but not if she carries on like this, so I want to try and salvage what's left.
CommentAuthorsarah
I definitely think her boyfriend not proposing is weighing on her mind. Imagine how terrible it must be for her to keep waiting. Not only waiting but watching her friends get engaged and married as she waits. She's jealous because she's waiting.
CommentAuthorMrsLJDeaton
1 she's obviously jealous but to do that on your wedding day unforgivable I think you should talk to her and get it off your chest as its bothering you and you wont feel any better till you speak to her You will feel like a big weight lifted of your shoudler's when you talk to to her Hugs
Started going out 23.10.2010 met at Barnet college
Engaged 23.08.2012 In Turkey Our 1st Holiday Together
To be Mrs Lana Jocelyn Deaton on 23.10.2015 5 years the day
Jamiroquai Arthur Gordon Deaton Born 29/05/2015 My Son Jammy
CommentAuthorPrincess2be
I would talk to her and find out what her problem is. I think u deserve an apology. Xx
CommentAuthorJanetM46
My own friend of 46 years (yes i am that old lol )hasn't asked me one thing about my wedding she has shown no interest at all i have invited her and to my amazement she is coming, i really expected an excuse i can't say how upset it has made me but i will try to put it to one side and when the wedding is over i think our friendship will be too i'm sad to say. She was annoyed with me to the point of not speaking for months because when i met my h2b i never mentioned him to anyone until i thought the time was right, this coming from someone that text me to say she had gotten married! Rennie From my point of view i wouldn't say anything because i wouldn't want it to mar the memories of my day but i wouldn't have her as a friend any more, she behaved appallingly.
CommentAuthorRennie1989
Thanks for the replies. Well, she hasn't spoken to me since I've been back from my honeymoon, and I don't really know what to say to her. I want to be mature and just talk to her but the way she behaved on my wedding day still makes it sore. What she did barely makes a dent on how awesome my day was, all the positives of the day outweigh the negatives, but it doesn't excuse it. Everyone, even my mum, MIL and SILs all say she's probably jealous, but why act like that on your best/close friend's wedding day? I know she wants to get married to her boyfriend but he's been divorced for a few years and has two children with his ex-wife, I don't think she understands that any proposal make take some time.
CommentAuthorMrsX2b
I wouldnt talk to her again but thats just me, In fact if anyone acts like that on my day i will tell them leave. I would say she is jealous of you and she couldnt hide it, Its that bad. If she does this on your wedding day, I would think long term what she could do. Its really not worth it. My sil used to be really horrible to me so i didnt see her for over 2 years and now she acts normal around me, where before she wanted to know where i brought this or that from and what it cost and when and where i was going on hol next. How can she get her hair like mine etc, It felt like single white female film lol,The thing is i didnt see it coming until it was to late(she walked in one day dressed like me with her hair curled like mine.) She always tried to put me down as well. If she dares to say one nasty thing at our wedding she is out the door (every1 knew how bad she got) I found with her that you cant reason with someone when all you are trying to do is just live your life how you want to, being yourself and being happy. If that annoys someone then they really are not worth our time. When people are jealous they seem to be on a mission to hurt and annoy you so whats the points in knowing themxx
CommentAuthor*The NewMrsMalin*
That is awful how she behaved on your wedding day; she should have been supportive; not adding more stress and upset. Yes I'm sure it must have been horrible for her hoping that her boyfriend would propose and he didn't but at the end of the day; this was your your h2b's special day; not hers. After what you've said about her boyfriend being divorced and having kids e.t.c; she needs to understand that he may not want to get engaged at the moment.
I think you do need to talk to her; yes it might possibly mar your wedding day but if you don't talk to her then it will be weighing on your mind anything; best to just clear the air and if you can't be friends any longer then I guess that is just how it is. :(
Met in 2009
Got together on12th May 2011, proposed on the 12th May 2013
When you get knocked down; smile and pick yourself up again!
Fight for what you believe in!
