Right I just need to have a little vent here ladies!

As most of you know it was my hen night on Saturday and it was also the stag night. They went to the comedy club, on to a bar then to a casino....or so I thought! Now I have to problem with strip clubs at all or the fact that he went to one, but to lie to my face on many occasions and for him and his brother and friends to be laughing about it behind my back and for him to spend £150+ has really got me angry!
Firstly I feel like I'm a laughing stock, and secondly we're right into a £4k overdraft, he has 1.5k on his credit card and it 900 into his own overdraft, and he had a right go at me for not wanting to send a £30 top back cos I liked it and hes spent all that (were as on saturday I watched the pennys, ordered the cheapest meal didnt buy too many drinks and came back with £49 out of £60) and he spent £300 on a new stupid games console last week. So I'm tearing my hair out trying to save as we have 2k to pay off the honeymoon by 28th apr and he seems to be spending everything! And I have sent the top back on his request grrrrr!!

I'd be very angry too, and to be honest I would have to say something to him, big hugs x

I'd be very very cross. I'd be calling my H2B a very BIG selfish pig. It's really not fair for him to spend as he pleases but not for you. I would not stand for this. xxx

I am so angry! Thing is I normally have a rant to my CBM, but if I do that shes gonna know her bf went and theyre going through a rocky patch, men!

Aw gorgeous, I'm sorry you're struggling ATM. Try not to get too riled up in it. If you start calling him names and get angry everything you say to him will be stonewalled. You obviously love him, and he obviously loves you because you're willing to spend the rest of your lives together. Try talking to him about how it worries you that he lied to you, and if you're worried about your finances bring that up too. The blame game doesn't help any relationship, if you start accusing him of doing this with his money when he told you this or that he will feel flooded and just cut off from listening to you, and his immediate reaction will be to just say you're wrong and defend himself. It's hard, I know. But hopefully worth it in the end.

I personally would be speaking to him, let him know you don't appreciate being lied to or the fact he is whittling money away on none important stuff, especially when you have that sort of debt! As for the lying, I'm afraid I don't do lying, so I would seriously pull him up on that! It may have been a wee lie thinking he was doing right, not wanting to upset you about the strip club! But in my opinion little lies turn into big lies and that's no way to start a marriage. He needs to know you won't stand for lying!
I hope you get on ok x

I'm sorry your upset so close to your wedding, some men can be so thoughtless and selfish at times. You do need to talk to your H2B about this though, as things tend to fester, mount up and then blow up, sit and get it out in the open about how you feel about him lying to you and about his spending. Gud luck hun x

I think it's a man thing, they just don't seem to get it do they!?

I've been having a mad panic that we won't have the money to pay everything in time but H2B is just carrying on as normal, spending away, he had his friends round for a poker night whilst I was away last weekend. I had no objection as thought they would just be playing fo fun, but oh no, they were playing for real money and H2B didn't win!

I'll be talking to H2B this weekend and showing him in black and white just how much we need to save in the next 88 days! Might just kick him into gear.

Z x

It's too one sided, he can spend and you can't plus the lying is deffo the worst. I'd be livid. My h2b used to lie to me like a little schoolboy but he's learned it's not worth it because I've gone mad at him and if he tells me the truth I listen and don't get mad! He also likes to spend too much money and I told him last weekend to watch what he's spending as he needs to pay off the venue and he went to check his account (just got enough money phew). He just buys without checking his balance.

my h2b was the same, he'd tell little white lies for things that totally didnt need to be covered up and when i explained to him that i had a better memory than him and can remember what he said and that if he just told me the truth it would save a lot of arguements he soon came round to my way of thinking.
your h2b has lied, but in his world he thinks he hasnt done anything wrong, men are just weird creatures and can be very selfish! i wouldnt mind if my h2b went to a strip club BUT.... when you still have bits of the wedding/honeymoon to pay for then he is bang out of order be spending that amount of money! especially when you arent allowed to spend money. defo get him told that it cant be one rule for you and one rule for him. also if you have that debt outstanding then he should be spending the money towards to wedding or towards paying of these cards - the last thing you want to do is to start married life deep in debt, all because h2b wanted to have a games console and a night in the clubs.

I wouldnt be happy either hun, hope you manage to whip him in to shape hun

I would not put up with this behaviour at all. You need to be able to talk openly to the person you're marrying, if he's hiding things now then it doesn't bode well for the future. Ask him to sit down properly, once you're a little calmer, and talk through the money and the deceit (use the word deceived rather than lied, as it also covers with-holding the truth!) and try to reach an agreement as to future boundaries. Hope it sorts itself out.

Ooooooooooooooooo ur being a lot calmer than i wud be. I expect my h2b to be going to a strip club as he's going to Amsterdam for his. I'm not happy about it but at least i know what he's doing. I totally agree with the fact that he shouldn't be lying to u. confront him. tell him u know and see what he says. *hugs* x

I would be absolutely livid if that was me hun, with-holding information and telling lies are all the same to me, as OWB said, deceit should cover that one so no squirming out of it. I think it makes it even more annoying that he's denying doing any wrong... I'd be furious! It's not fair that he's spending without a care when you're doing all you can to save. LIke you, stripclub wouldnt be an issue to me, it'd be the lies about it that would annoy me. He's out of order and he knows it by the sounds of it x

Can't put it better than the ladies already have hun! He's not treating you like an equal and it's just not on! Xx

Thanks for all your advice ladies, the situation has now been sorted. I ended up falling out with the bil2b aswell...so in the end I ended up apologising :S bizarre situation, but at least I'm now calm haha.

Thanks again xx

I did do lol, I've only started talking to him properly today :) x

I divorced my ex husband for the very same reasons...got far too much! Glad you managed to sort it x

Apologised?,for what exactly? It really does sound like h2b is taking the pee here to say the least!

And you apologising means he will walk all over you again:-(

I agree too clive think it should be him and the others saying sorry to you not you doing the saying sorry xx