Wedding Forum - Shall I Cancel??...

I done a thread yesterday basically saying how I'm really worried about times and people having to travel about so much..

I have a church booked for the ceremony which is the other side of Bristol to my reception venue, it's not a huge problem untill I start thinking about guests that are already travelling across the country to come to the wedding.

The only way I can see things done stress free is for guests to book into a hotel for two nights, get ready at the hotel, drive to the church, from the church to the reception venue and maybe leave there cars so they can drink and get a taxi back to the hotel.

To me it just sounds far too much!

So I've been thinking whether it's best I just cancel the church and have a civil ceremony at my reception venue, it's not 100% what I want but it really would make everything so much easier!

Pics of inside my church and inside my reception venue are above, not sure if that really helps but they are both lovely! Its just not the traditional wedding I've always seen myself having.

Opinions def needed here! xxx

lol i am doin the same i think lol civil ceremony room luks just as nice as church hun!!

personally i wud hav it at venue hun, you dont want u or ure guest rushin around, will just make it easier

cos they will hav to drop cars off at their hotel before goin to venue

You cant please everyone all of the time, your wedding your way and if you want the church then have the church. Your guests should be happy to share your special day with you and would just have to cope. xx

I can have it there, it's already in the contract as they thought I was originally having it there! I rang to tell them I wasnt and they said they will just change it when we go for the menu meeting thing.

Jennebel it does sound do able but with times and everything it seems so stressful.. plus guests will have to go from the church to the hotel before the reception venue if they are only staying one night as they have to be checked in at 2pm no earlier no later. Its a nightmare!

I have it in an email from the hotel, they have to check in at 2pm to avoid queues at reception as "normal" guests have to check in from 2.30.. maybe I've got it wrong and they can still check in whenever but that's how I'm reading it lol

I really don't know, I need someone to just take it out of my hands and say I have no choice either way. I don't think I'm ever going to please everyone and I hate it x

Mrs Walker - it's your wedding and if you want a church wedding then do it! I mentioned the other day about my friends wedding last year in Bristol...the majority of us had to travel from Liverpool (where she is from) and her hubby's family / friends had to travel from Cornwall (where he is from) so it took everyone 5 hours + to get there, but we knew this from the start and booked 2 nights in hotel. Drove to the church from the hotel, from the church to the reception venue (which took us another 40 mins coz of roadworks / traffic) then just got cab back the next day to pick up the car...it wasn't an issue and we were prepared to do it because she had warned us about it before hand... she did put a bus on in the evening to take people back to Bristol after the reception though...didn't cost as much as she thought it would and may ease the moans of your guests...

I'll have a look into costs for a bus to just get them back to the hotel after the reception but I think thats all I'll do, it's costing us over 15k for this wedding and I can't keep forking out more money to please everyone else. H2b has put his foot down, said we aren't cancelling and if guests don't like it they can do one.. only problem is I think it'll be his family that don't like it!! I'm really not giving much time for everything but it's the only way I can see it working, if there is road works and if there is football on that day (my venue is near Bristol City's football ground) then tough, my venue need to just work with us to make it work instead of putting so much pressure on us to keep to times. I'm not superwoman, as much as I like to think I am, I can't make everything simple and perfect at the same time. If I want perfect then there's going to be issues as silly as that sounds!

I'm never going to win am I? I just need to think about what me and h2b want now and stop fussing over other people. H2b's brother got married in portugal few months back, was amazing best wedding ever, his cousin gets married in August, a huge big posh do.. so I feel like I have these to live up to and if it's no better or on par then I will get the stick for it. My family wouldn't give two damns how it is, they are just over the moon we are getting married. It's a difficult one!! x

I just can't afford it, not for the day, even if it was only a 100 quid, its 100 quid I don't have at the moment and I feel really angry that I have to pay out more money to please people. If I can get a mini bus for the evening, just to take people back to the hotel and they leave there cars at the venue, I don't mind doing that but that's it. I can't keep spending money on them! It's nearly 100 quid a head for the whole day and including favours food and drink as it is :-( changing venue's would make it cheaper and easier but it's just not what I want xx

If you try and please people then it will get messy, please yourself first then worry about everyone else.

people prob wouldnt mind,we went to a wedding quite far away from us and it involved a lot of travelling and taxis and over night stay.go with what makes you happy as the people who matter will make sure they are a part of your day no matter how awkward it may be.xx

Are you marrying in the Church for religious reasons? If not, I would have the ceremony at the venue; personally, I find it hypocritical to marry in church if you're not religious and don't regularly attend mass, it doesn't sit comfortably with me; this is why I've refused point-blank to entertain a religious ceremony, even though my parents are Catholic and my OHs mum and grandmother Protestant. I know people will disagree, I just don't think you should marry in a church because it's a 'nice venue', that's not what a church wedding should be about IMO.

If you are religious or have strong religious reasons for marrying in a church, then I would still do it in the church, and just try not to stress about guests, they will work it out, believe me, and won't get nearly so stressed over it as you will :-) People travelling a long distance will either set off early, or book accommodation for the previous night; you can get Travel Lodges and the like really cheap so I really wouldn't worry. If however you don't have any religious reasons, then personally, I don't see the point in making your guests travel across town..

Im getting married in a church for all the right reasons, as I've already said h2b mentioned using a different church closer to the venue and I said I wouldn't do that as if I was going to change then it would have to a civil ceremony, it's either MY church or no church.

Well done you mrs walker 2be. I am so pleased to hear your not going to change the church. I couldnt marry anywhere else. I feel the same---my church or no church. Its your dream...you only do this once...live your dream love. People will understand. xx

H2b said I need to stop thinking about the guests and just think about us.. he said think of the wedding as having no guests and it's just the two of us there and your arranging this wedding the way we want it and the way it will please us. He's so right! It's going to be my church, my way! Thank you ever so much girls, everyones advice has really helped. xxx

Yeah, definitely. I have to stop "being so nice" lol xx

Thanks hun! I don't know what I'd do without this site. xxx

I agree with everyone ha! At the end of the day it is YOUR day, you do not need the added stress of trying to please everyone and it'll only end up causing problems between you and your H2B.

If people really want to be a part of YOUR day then they will make the effort to travel and wouldn't even dream of you footing the bill... Of course it's nice to pay for everything for everyone, but in these times when most of us are paying our own weddings (without help) every penny does count and £100 for a wedding is sometimes just the same as £1000, even an extra tenner is just as bad when you haven't got the spare funds! I know exactly how you feel hun.

And regarding your venue...s0d them...they have to cater for your needs and make you feel as relaxed and stress-free as possible...how many weddings do you go to where the caterers are running late? Don't let it get you down xx

I think not canceling the church for a civil service is good, that church looks amazing, although my friend is getting married in a really pretty church over the suspension bridge quite near your reception - could be a option if you wanted something closer. But if your church means something then let the guests just sort themselves out

Good choice.. I think you need a church we a bit of meaning. I bet you we be so happy when you walk down that isle is stunning xx

I went to a wedding where the civil venue was a 40 minute drive across London to the reception venue. We got lost and drove round for 2 hours!!
But it was all ok in the end.
You can't please everyone and you will make yourself miserable trying. Just give clear directions, with a map, and let people sort themselves out, they are adults after all!

xxx