Wedding Forum - Selfishness...

I have spent the majority of my wedding plans making room/allowances for other peoples opinions and views, and trying to make everyone happy. Which is fine, because we got what we wanted, we have just gone an extra mile in places to allow other people to also have things, like family getting extra people invited, or organising extra events for everyone to feel included, and extending deadlines for people and changing plans slightly. But I am getting a little p****d off with it all now. I spent days organising the table plan. Re-arranged them for all the little tiffs and preferences of everyone. The only thing that wasn't changed was the top table. That was ept the traditional way, except for my male best friend is sitting where my dad would normally sit for varios reasons. And then today, after its all sent off and her never having any issues before when we discussed seating, my MIL comes in and gets annoyed that she's sitting with someone she doesn't know. Why can't she sit with the best man, she knows him, or her ex-husband (who doesn't want to sit with her btw). Not that she's even given my best friend a chance, she just doesn't want to sit with him, oh but everyone else at the wedding (her words in the middle of this coversation) should just get along for a few hours with who ever they are sitting with! And then she wants to know why she can't sit with her daughter, and why my future SIL isn't sitting on the top table in the first place, and the rest of the bridesmaids and groomsmen as well, whilst she's questioning everything. Now I understand the questions (or I'm trying to be understanding), but I'm really angry with the attitude that it comes with. I'm really upset that everyone just comes in and wants things done to fit them, without any question as to how much time the original plans have taken you, or any of the other concerns you may be have to contend with, they just want what they want and if its not like that then clearly you haven't spent any time or effort on it, and you can just change it right? Just a little switch? Not as though a little tweak here or there would have any other effects at all right? Or if it does everyone else should lump it because this wedding after all is clearly about the complainer and not anyone else, like maybe the couple getting marrie!!!

And breathe. I'm sorry. I've just got everyone making demands of me left, right and centre, and I'm just wondering why I am making all these considerations for other people, when not a single person has made any about me or my OH. No thank you for making the adjustments etc, just do this, do that, because its what I want. Well I think that it's jsut plain selfish, and I think that since this is the one time that I have an excuse to be selfish, and I haven't taken it, that people should be a little bit more grateful for all the trouble I'm going through to make them all happy. Just makes me want to say stuff you all, you try and figure this all out and see you do any better! Since I'm clearly sh*t at it!

I am just so tired of it all and all the demands. Why are people so selfish?????


Oh wow that's gone a little bit insane rambley. Sorry. Just needed to get that out. I'm at my end at the moment

thats the thing, if you start off being manipulated people walk all over you, you need to stand up for yourself, say this is how its going to be, if you don't like it , you can lump it!

Def il be telling people it's my wedding an fits tough lol
Tell her it's been sent if and can't be changed now x

I have to agree with everyone on here!!! Unfortunately, it seems weddings bring out the worst in people!!!
Tell her to stop moaning and get on with it or just completely ignore her and carry on. Either way its your wedding day, not everyone elses xx

Sorry you feel that way, people can be terribly selfish and unaccomodating, and like you say they don't think about how much other stuff you must have going on organising a wedding!! My advice is just to stop changing things for people, they can lump it for one day! It's your day, do it for you and hubby to be. If people fall out with you over something for your wedding they don't deserve an invite, they should have your interests at heart. I would have just pretended your MIL never opened her mouth tbh--I've done that a few times with both our families already! And just had a rant to h2b xx

sounds like you have been very accommodating. time to put your foot down. its been sent off now so she will have to put up with it. its only for like 2 hours max for sit down meal anyway. you dont need the stress with only 2 weeks to go just ignore it and try and relax. if shes still being a problem then get H2B to deal with her xx

Glad to hear you've found a solution. Thank goodness for his Dad!

I know it's difficult but if anything else comes up then put your foot down! It's yours and your H2B's day! It sounds like you've already been way more accommodating than I would have been!! Xxx

i am so scared of situations like this, i feel for you, i really do! I'm glad you've found a solution xxx