Wedding Forum - Secret Marriage??? - Page 1

FREE Wedding Table Planner

+ FREE Wedding Budget Planner and more wedding planning tools

Join now free to use

Wedding Forum - Secret Marriage???...

Not signed in (Sign In)

UKbride Supermarket


* Discount available to Power Users only. Terms and conditions apply. more

  1.  
    • princesspixie
      CommentAuthorprincesspixie
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Okay so whats everyones thoughts on this.... My partner is in the army and has been for the entire length of our relationship (thats where we met) we have a 21month old little boy and second one is on the way... now at the moment he is currently changing trades and training to become a pilot so we only see each other on a weekend, this isn't a massive deal to me as thats the way its been for 7 years but its taking his toll on him not seeing our son and with another one coming i think he's nervous about missing out on everything... we can't get living quarters until we are officially married so my partner has suggested we get married on his next leave (in march) but not tell anyone just take a couple of witnesses and go to the registry office no party or big white dress or anything so we can live together as a proper family... he says i can still have my big day on our original date as its already booked anyway and then start our proper married life (as in start counting anniversaries etc) from June 2016... now do people think this is taking the romance out of it or is it just a practical solution???

    Members signature icon
    Officially married my best friend 2/5/2015 (secretly)
    Big wedding 18/06/2016

  2.  
    • Mrs D2B
      CommentAuthorMrs D2B
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    It is a practical solution to your problem and I don't see why it wouldn't work. You could keep the romance by having your marriage blessed on your "big day" to keep the romance. But it depends how you feel. Would you be happy to do this or would you feel a little bit cheated that you didn't have a big wedding so to speak? At the end of the day marriage isn't about the wedding it's about a lifetime. Do what makes you happy xx

    Members signature icon
    31/12/2017 A New Year, A New Life, A New Husband and Wife


  3.  
    • DonnaH39
      CommentAuthorDonnaH39
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    I don't think it's taking the romance out of it at all :) I think it would be lovely and like you say, you will still have your big day when you've planned it as well.

    It must be very hard for him not being able to see little one all the time.




  4.  
    • Glitterfairy
      CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    I think it's a good idea, you get your family home, then instead of getting married in your original date just a renewal or blessing is needed.

    Members signature icon
    Our wedding day - 6 October 2012


  5.  
    • DonnaH39
      CommentAuthorDonnaH39
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    I quite like the idea of just having a blessing on the big day anyway, as it means you can do what you want-you aren't tied to the legal side of a ceremony. I helped my sister photograph a wedding where the bride and groom had gone to the registry office in the morning with their parents to officially get married, then they went back, got ready and met at the reception where they had the ceremony with all the guests there. It meant they didn't have all the expensive fee's for having a registrar come out to the venue and they could do what they liked in the ceremony as it was just a blessing of their marriage.




  6.  
    • Linzi-jo
      CommentAuthorLinzi-jo
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Your family is the most important thing and they need a home and the kiddies need their dad so I think the registry office is a great idea :) plus if you have a blessing on your original date you will be able to include your children in it much more than you could if it was a legal ceremony which would be lovely :) xxx

    Members signature icon
    Got together 14.02.2008
    Got engaged 31.12.2010
    Will become a Mrs on 30.08.2014 xxxxxx
  7.  
    • CatherineR
      CommentAuthorCatherineR
      Is poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadge
     
    We are doing the civil, legal 'bit' in the morning with close family and then having the full blessing in the afternoon with all the trimmings including reception, band, dancing etc. etc. so it will work :) Ask a celebrant to perform your blessing, go to a church, humanist whatever at June wedding and have the big party! You can literally do what you like at a blessing so it's your own blessing without being tied up in the legalities x

    Members signature icon
    Married my wife on 15.08.15
    Honeymooned on the Isles of Scilly :)

  8.  
    • CatherineR
      CommentAuthorCatherineR
      Is poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadge
      edited
     
    I also know someone who did this last year and ended up having to have the legal ceremony in April and then had their proper party bit as planned with the dress etc. in August and it worked wonderfully! Her hubby is army too and I think it was something to do with married quarters/him going on leave x

    Members signature icon
    Married my wife on 15.08.15
    Honeymooned on the Isles of Scilly :)

  9.  
    • princesspixie
      CommentAuthorprincesspixie
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    thanks guys i feel a lot better about it now H2B just wants to keep the marriage a secret though until our proper wedding not sure how that will work cos as soon as we move it'll be obvious we're married lol... I'm not sure how blessings work I've never been to one and don't know anyone who has had one... can anyone do them and do you still vows? xxx

    Members signature icon
    Officially married my best friend 2/5/2015 (secretly)
    Big wedding 18/06/2016

  10.  
    • Mrs T Hurley!
      CommentAuthorMrs T Hurley!
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    If anything, I find this even more romantic!

    Members signature icon
    Met 18/09/03
    Engaged 06/09/08
    Getting married 05/09/17
  11.  
    • DonnaH39
      CommentAuthorDonnaH39
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Blessings can have vows if you want, or not if you don't.... you can literally do what you want


    You can always have it just unspoken, so people may know you have got married-but they will also know you are planning your wedding ;) if when you move anyone asks about it, just say, we have the legal bit done so that he can be with his children... but our wedding day is still going to be when we planned.




  12.  
    • DonnaH39
      CommentAuthorDonnaH39
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    I agree I find it more romantic as well




  13.  
    • thefuture:Mrs_Hurren
      CommentAuthorthefuture:Mrs_Hurren
      BadgeBadge
     
    I think it's a lovely idea x
  14.  
    • Whovianbride
      CommentAuthorWhovianbride
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Sounds perfect. And seeming as you will still have the whole shebang as planned, no one will miss out anyway.

    Members signature icon
    Met June 2009 on my Birthday,Met again July 2009 and got
    together, May 2010 Moved in,Jan 2011 got pregnant,
    August 2011 Got our own place, 2011 Had our Baby Girl,
    Dec 2011 Got engaged, July 2015 Getting married! Yay!
  15.  
    • InDreamland
      CommentAuthorInDreamland
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    That sounds like a fantastic idea x

    Members signature icon
    Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
    Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!

  16.  
    • Flossie
      CommentAuthorFlossie
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    It's a good idea and makes sense to do it that way, I don't think it would take the magic out of it at all, if anything it would just make it even more special. I know a lot of people involved in the army do things this way x

    Members signature icon
    Happily married
    18th June 2016
    xx
  17.  
    • JennK
      CommentAuthorJennK
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Sounds like a fab idea :)

    Members signature icon
    Our perfect day - 08.08.15

  18.  
    • princesspixie
      CommentAuthorprincesspixie
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    thanks guys... feel loads better about it now can't believe I'm gonna be getting married in a few weeks seems strange now (I'm still demanding a nice dress for this wedding although not a wedding dress as i'll be 7 months pregnant) xxx



    Members signature icon
    Officially married my best friend 2/5/2015 (secretly)
    Big wedding 18/06/2016

  19.  
    • DonnaH39
      CommentAuthorDonnaH39
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Yeah, you still want to make this wedding special as well :)

    Congratulations.


    You can get some lovely maternity dresses-how much are you wanting to spend?




  20.  
    • Glitterfairy
      CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    A lovely Grecian style dress would be fab.

    Members signature icon
    Our wedding day - 6 October 2012


  21.  
    • Mrs M Wade
      CommentAuthorMrs M Wade
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    I think it's a lovely idea x

    Members signature icon
    Became Mrs Wade 06/08/2016


  22.  
    • EmmaH444
      CommentAuthorEmmaH444
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Aww this is so romantic! :) x

    Members signature icon
    Met 29/3/2006
    Engaged 24/8/13
    Married 26th August 2016
  23.  
    • princesspixie
      CommentAuthorprincesspixie
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    wanting to spend as little as possible no photos, flowers or anything like that especially with me still getting my big day :) xxx

    Members signature icon
    Officially married my best friend 2/5/2015 (secretly)
    Big wedding 18/06/2016

  24.  
    • Little Kettle
      CommentAuthorLittle Kettle
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Fab idea! We got married in Vegas and had a blessing conducted by a friend of ours in our local park where family and friends came so they could feel part of it. Everyone loved that they were still part of something ceremonial. They bought confetti and champagne (and plastic glasses!) and then we headed to a local restaurant where we were joined by more friends and had our 'reception'. It worked really well.

    Members signature icon
    Vegas baby!
    Moderator

  25.  
    • Emmilou82
      CommentAuthorEmmilou82
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    I think it's a lovely idea. At the end of the day, you have to do what works for you and your family. Your blessing next year will still be magical and equally as special as its about you and your family. How exciting

    Members signature icon
    Marrying 'The One' on 30th July 2016
    I am now Mrs Emma Stokoe xx

  26.  
    • AH86
      CommentAuthorAH86
      Ticker backgroundTicker foreground
     
    I say go for it, I think it will be amazing for you both to live together and I do not think you will ever regret it or that it will ruin your big day x

    Members signature icon
    Friday 10th April 2015
    Marrying my best friend
    Not long now :D
  27.  
    • lala "mod" bunni
      CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    tbh i think its the best solution ... after all this will be the legal bit and enable you to all be together

  28.  
    • Teresa
      CommentAuthorTeresa
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    I think its a lovely idea, i would still get a few photo's though, you dont want to look back and think "i wish i had took pics" xx
  29.  
    • Flossie
      CommentAuthorFlossie
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    I would also be tempted to say make sure you get a few photos taken.. it would be a shame not to have any photos of the day you legally got married and became husband and wife. You don't need a photographer for very long, only an hour or so to get some good snaps, maybe even less than that! You could even just ask someone random to take a couple of pics if you take a small camera with you. I think no pictures would be a shame xx

    Members signature icon
    Happily married
    18th June 2016
    xx
  30.  
    • princesspixie
      CommentAuthorprincesspixie
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    my mum really wants pics and to be there (I'm terrible at keeping secrets so had to tell her) my dad can take pics he has a proper camera and thinks himself as a photographer anyway (he's really not though lol) xxx

    Members signature icon
    Officially married my best friend 2/5/2015 (secretly)
    Big wedding 18/06/2016

  31.  
    • Flossie
      CommentAuthorFlossie
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    That's good, at least you will have a few snaps :)

    Would his parents be there as well? It would be nice if you just had both your parents. x

    Members signature icon
    Happily married
    18th June 2016
    xx
  32.  
    • princesspixie
      CommentAuthorprincesspixie
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    not sure they don't live close plus he has a lot of parents lol but i do know if his mum found out we'd done it without telling her she would be devastated so maybe we should invite them i now just have the problem of what to wear... definitely don't want to wear a wedding dress or anything white (save that for the proper wedding) and i'm gonna be 7 month pregnant so has to be comfy xx

    Members signature icon
    Officially married my best friend 2/5/2015 (secretly)
    Big wedding 18/06/2016

  33.  
    • Flossie
      CommentAuthorFlossie
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
      edited
     
    I'm sure they would still make the effort to come. I think it would be nice to at least let them know.. if I had a child and they got married without me knowing I would be a little bit miffed haha. If they can't make it then they can't make it, but I think parents ought to know.

    Do you want to wear a dress? There are lots of lovely pastel colours about at the mo and you could just wear a flowy maxi dress so there would be plenty of room for bump x

    Members signature icon
    Happily married
    18th June 2016
    xx
  34.  
    • princesspixie
      CommentAuthorprincesspixie
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    i always wear dresses if I'm getting dressed up so yeah i'd luv to wear a dress just not a wedding one and yeah i think you're right we should tell parents and be miffed too xx

    Members signature icon
    Officially married my best friend 2/5/2015 (secretly)
    Big wedding 18/06/2016

  35.  
    • princesspixie
      CommentAuthorprincesspixie
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    i do luv mint green at the moment and its the colour of my wedding scheme so that would be quite a nice touch if i wore a mint green dress xx

    Members signature icon
    Officially married my best friend 2/5/2015 (secretly)
    Big wedding 18/06/2016

  36.  
    • Flossie
      CommentAuthorFlossie
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Ahh that would be a lovely touch :) I love mint green as well.. one of my bridesmaids dresses is mint green, from L1ttl3 M1str3ss x

    Members signature icon
    Happily married
    18th June 2016
    xx
  37.  
    • princesspixie
      CommentAuthorprincesspixie
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    ok so been talking to my partner and it turns out he wants to do this because he thinks he's going to be posted to northern ireland shortly now I'm all for going with him but my dad has made it clear he would not be happy with a quickie wedding and then a big wedding next year he thinks its a waste of money... is he right? also my partner wants our witnesses to be his friend from work and his partner because they will also be getting married that day too now i know this quick wedding is all about the legalities of being able to live together but the thought of having a secret double wedding really does not appeal to me it just takes out the specialness of what will already be a strange day would i be wrong in saying to him i will happily go ahead and secretly marry him but not do a double wedding?? xx

    Members signature icon
    Officially married my best friend 2/5/2015 (secretly)
    Big wedding 18/06/2016

  38.  
    • lala "mod" bunni
      CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    without being married you are not his legal next of kin ....... get to h2b to speak to his commanding officer about the likelihood of being posted to NI

  39.  
    • MrsThomson2B
      CommentAuthorMrsThomson2B
      Is poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Tell him you are not sharing your day if that is what you want, also why should he dictate both witnesses? Surely you should have someone special there for you too? As for your dad tell hi. You would rather waste some money than have your children in a broken home as the strain of your h2b not seeing the kids is putting a huge strain on you both. Ask your dad to be supportive, if he can't be then you understand if he can't be at your wedding. If you must share your day with h2b colleagues insist that your ceremony is first if you can. Or tell him it will need to be the next weekend that he is home you will do things xx
  40.  
    • EmmaH444
      CommentAuthorEmmaH444
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    I would definitely tell his parents too, just so that they know.

    My Uncle got married a couple of weeks ago with out telling the family and it caused A LOT of upset. Not because we weren't there but because of the way we found out. My parents live opposite and my Mam found out because the next door neighbour had put balloons on the door and my other uncle found out from someone else in the club!

    I think your Dad will come around once he realises properly why you are doing this legal wedding part. Good luck! :)

    Members signature icon
    Met 29/3/2006
    Engaged 24/8/13
    Married 26th August 2016
  41.  
    • princesspixie
      CommentAuthorprincesspixie
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    my dad would never not come to the big wedding he just doesn't understand why a big wedding is important to me (my parents have been married for 30 years but only married due to pregnancy and my mum always regretted not having a big wedding) OH is adamant he doesn't want his parents knowing (i disagree strongly with him on this one but if I told them he'd be very mad at me) although I do fear they will find out and it would cause so much upset I think i'm definitely going to put my foot down about the whole double wedding thing I should have a say in at least that I think xxx

    Members signature icon
    Officially married my best friend 2/5/2015 (secretly)
    Big wedding 18/06/2016

  42.  
    • Emily17
      CommentAuthorEmily17
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    I would definitely put your foot down about that. If it's not something your happy with then you shouldn't do it. I think it's a lovely idea. I would love to do this ( just want to say he's my husband now not in 2 yrs!!) but have no reason to so it wouldn't be accepted like yours would be

    Members signature icon
    Met in 2009
    He proposed Jan 2014
    Will become Mrs P 7th October 2017
  43.  
    • princesspixie
      CommentAuthorprincesspixie
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    well we are booked in to give notice next week 23rd to be exact and I've managed to convince him to at least tell his parents woohoo... then it dawned on me I'm going to planning a wedding 240 miles away from the venue this is going to be difficult lol xx

    Members signature icon
    Officially married my best friend 2/5/2015 (secretly)
    Big wedding 18/06/2016

  44.  
    • EmmaH444
      CommentAuthorEmmaH444
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Pleased he is going to tell his parents. Good luck next week - keep us informed! :) x

    Members signature icon
    Met 29/3/2006
    Engaged 24/8/13
    Married 26th August 2016
  45.  
    • clairenina
      CommentAuthorclairenina
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Great news, enjoy giving notice. I thought it was exciting, as it all became so real xx
  46.  
    • Teresa
      CommentAuthorTeresa
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Oh this is exciting :) glad he us telling his parents now, that's sensible xx
  47.  
    • MrsThomson2B
      CommentAuthorMrsThomson2B
      Is poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadge
     
    fabby to hear xx
  48.  
    • princesspixie
      CommentAuthorprincesspixie
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    well thats it the notice has been given and we are legally getting married on 2nd May (just hope i don't go into labour before hand) feels a little weird knowing I'm getting married in 40 days but not having a wedding :( but all the more reason to make sure my wedding next year will be better xx

    Members signature icon
    Officially married my best friend 2/5/2015 (secretly)
    Big wedding 18/06/2016

  49.  
    • Mrs M Wade
      CommentAuthorMrs M Wade
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Aww lovely news princess pixie x

    Members signature icon
    Became Mrs Wade 06/08/2016


  50.  
    • JennK
      CommentAuthorJennK
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Aw lovely! So glad it is all sorted :)

    Members signature icon
    Our perfect day - 08.08.15

 

UKbride's £25,000 Wedding Competition Prize Partners

Enter Now