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Wedding Forum - Save the Date Nightmare...

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  1.  
    • LauraC1590
      CommentAuthorLauraC1590
      Posted: Mar 17th 2017
     
    Hi all, I'm desperate for your help and advice.

    I'm getting married on a really awkward day of the year, 28th December 2017 (Midweek so saving a fortune). I wasn't going to bother with Save the Dates but as it's such a weird date I wanted to give people a heads up.

    I ordered enough to send to both Day and Evening guests, then someone said to me if I send them to evening guests, they will be expecting an invite to the day?

    For context, I wanted to give the evening guests a heads up as even though it's an evening event, some of them would need to travel to get there and may still need to book time off/make accommodation arrangements etc.

    So I thought about putting a note in saying "Evening invite to follow". But THEN, as it's such an awkward day so close to Christmas, I am expecting people to RSVP no to the day time, which means I could bump some evening guests. But I can't bump them if they had a Save the Date telling them to expect an evening invite!?

    Any advice or experiences are most welcome (both as a guest and bride). I have no idea of the correct etiquette!

    Thanks in advance,
    Lots of love, Stressed Bridezilla!
  2.  
    • NicoleW665
      CommentAuthorNicoleW665
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Mar 17th 2017
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    i only sent save the dates to the day guests as i was also told evening guests don't receive one or else they would expect a full day invite, are you able to get them altered so that some say save the evening? x

    Members signature icon
    When we met: August 2009
    When we announced engagement: December 2015
    When we will get married: September 2017
  3.  
    • lala "mod" bunni
      CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
      Got married 9 years ago
      Posted: Mar 17th 2017
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    People who expect things are invariably disappointed

  4.  
    • LauraC1590
      CommentAuthorLauraC1590
      Posted: Mar 17th 2017
     
    Hi Nicole, they're printed unfortunately so I can't alter them :(
  5.  
    • FutureMrsW
      CommentAuthorFutureMrsW
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Mar 17th 2017
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Hi Laura :) From a bride POV we only sent Save the Dates to day guests but if I was having a more 'awkward' dates then I would want to send them to everyone. As you are getting married so close to Christmas and New Years I think it definitely makes sense to send StDs to anyone you know you want to be there at some point.

    As for expecting day invitations, I have gotten StDs and then only been invited to the wedding and didn't think anything of it at all (in fact it helped us out as we didn't feel bad about putting them on our evening list when our day rolled around :P ). Personally as a guest it doesn't bother me, I think for most people any invitation at all is lovely to get x




  6.  
    • LauraC1590
      CommentAuthorLauraC1590
      Posted: Mar 17th 2017
     
    Thank you, that's really useful. :)
  7.  
    • MichelleC961
      CommentAuthorMichelleC961
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Mar 18th 2017
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    We did 2 prints - one save the date for the day guests and other save the evening- we are getting married on may bank holiday so wanted to give people notice too.

    If I received a save the date card I would think I was bring invited to the whole event - but that's just my thoughts- if you want to save the dates to evening I would someone add the road evening- we too almost have a reserve list that there are some people that if we get people that don't come to the day we can bump to the evening- these for me are work colleagues so I hand gave the invites and said that I would love to invite hem to the whole thing but due to numbers can only come to night- however if numbers change then I'm hoping to invite you to the day too- my colleagues are understanding enough to now expect to be able to come to be whole thing but I've given them the heads up :-)

    Members signature icon



  8.  
    • Emily17
      CommentAuthorEmily17
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Mar 18th 2017
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    I agree with Michelle, If i had a STD, i would expect it to be for all day. Add your wording to say evening invite to follow. but then maybe speak to some who you are hoping to bump up so that they can prepare.

    For a few of our close family friends, I have told them that we cannot sit them down for the breakfast but asked if they would attend the church and then rejoin us for the reception. That way they know to be free all day but we have been honest that we cannt fit them in at the moment unless people drop out.

    Members signature icon
    Met in 2009
    He proposed Jan 2014
    Will become Mrs P 7th October 2017
  9.  
    • MaxineP89
      CommentAuthorMaxineP89
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Mar 18th 2017
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    I didn't want to go to the expense of STD so didn't bother getting any printed. I did however buy a pack of 20 stds from C&rd F&ct0ry for £1.99 and wrote a few out myself and gave them to our friends who live a distance who we don't see very often, advising them that the official invite was to follow.

    We have told those that matter, and most have already booked rooms etc, before the official invites have gone out.

    Our works mates have been told that they will only be invited to the evening. We have also been very careful when talking to people when they have asked about the wedding not to give them the impression that they will be invited. But also made it very clear to those that are invited that its to the all day event.

    Looking forward to becoming the 3rd and last Mrs McLauchlan


  10.  
    • MrsC2Be
      CommentAuthorMrsC2Be
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Mar 20th 2017
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    we sent them to all as were a midweek wedding too so wanted people to know in advance incase they wanted to book the next day off x

    Members signature icon
    Met In Lanzarote April 2013
    Engaged In Rome February 2016
    Getting Married In Scotland May 2017
  11.  
    • MrsG2B
      CommentAuthorMrsG2B
      Posted: Mar 21st 2017
     
    If I was sent a save the date I'd assume I was invited to the day time. Although you're getting married midweek, a lot of people will already have time off work between christmas & new year. We've decided not to bother with save the dates, the main people who we want there already know the time & place and we're sending invites out 6 month in advance as a lot of our guests would have a long way to travel. I think the best thing to do would be to send out your invites a bit further in advance, that way you aren't risking causing any offence and people still have plenty time to arrange travel/accomodation/time off. Plus if you want to bump any evening guests to day guests you'll (hopefully) have your RSVPs back in plenty time :) x
  12.  
    • BethanyN36
      CommentAuthorBethanyN36
      Posted: Mar 21st 2017
     
    I sent my std to everyone
  13.  
    • Ping
      CommentAuthorPing
      Posted: Mar 21st 2017
     
    We sent an email/FB/other social media message to everyone we wanted to invite to get some basic numbers before the SaveTheDates were sent out. We put it as an excuse that we needed people's addresses :) (Which was true for most of them). That meant everyone got the head's up on what day it was, and straight away most replied by email if they knew they couldn't do the day or the evening. We're now sending out invites because we realised we didn't need a STD card now :)
 
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