Well i chose my h2bs cousin as a bridesmaid as traditionally we wanted someone from grooms family in the bridal party.
We have been engaged 5 months now and i have not seen her once! ( although groom has)
She always says shes busy and i know she does work 2 jobs but the times I see on her facebook shes been out in town all weekend ect really rattle my bones.
I have actually had to go ahead and buy her bridesmaid dress and been nagging her for weeks to come and try it on.
I have already text her saying if she didnt want to be bridesmaid to let me know before i bought her dress but she insisted she did- Nail on the head is my older sister who is my MOH and planning my hen do has just informed me this bridesmaid said she cant come and didnt give a reason why - I AM FUMING!
As A bridesmaid surely thats a basic thing right?! attending the hen do?
My other bridesmaids are my 2 sisters who have been fantastic and obviously we are close - i could never compare our relationships as his cousin is simply a bridesmaid as i wanted to include his family. but just cant see how she deserves to stand next to them at the alter.
Am i just being silly?!
CommentAuthorShazk
its not good that you don't see her but I think you need to actually speak to her before u "sack" her there may be more to it
if she working to jobs maybe she feels she cant afford to make it to the hen do and NO I don't think it is the basic thing at all you cant just assume someone to come, im BM for my sister who lives 150 miles away from me and if I said to her I cant come she would be upset don't get me wrong but she would know that there would be a very good reason, my best friend got married in June again lives 150 miles away and I said to her I cant come hen do or I cant afford wedding so be a bit fair on her until you have spoken to her and know all the details or at least given her a chance to defend herself x
Away with the flutterbys xxx
CommentAuthorChantelleR
She lives 10 mins down the road from me though - not 150 miles. lol
And thats my point i have been trying to speak to her and getting knowhere.
she works 2 jobs but lives at home and had no bills.
Dunno - its a sticky one x
CommentAuthorMrsRusty2B
I've been bridesmaid once to a woman I consider my sister even though we're not blood related - she's a friend I've known for years though. I did attend her hen do but only because she had both that and the actual wedding in Scotland - if she'd had the hen do in Spain, I wouldn't have been able to afford to fly over there, stay in a hotel and still have cash for the night itself. I also was very lucky in that she didn't want me to wear a proper bridesmaids dress - she let me wear one I already owed and I'd e-mailed a pic of me wearing it previously to her months ahead of the wedding just in case she wanted me in something different.
Like Shazk says, I'd try and speak to her before you actually "sack" her - you never know people's reasons for things unless you ask them directly.
CommentAuthorShazk
It doesn't matter how close to each other you live there still maybe reasons why and you need to get to the bottom of them
Just call/text whatever and say u need to have a catch up or why don't you pop round to her house one night and hope she is in x
That isn't very good but like others have suggested; I say you should talk to her before you 'sack' her :)
Met in 2009
Got together on12th May 2011, proposed on the 12th May 2013
When you get knocked down; smile and pick yourself up again!
Fight for what you believe in!
CommentAuthorChantelleR
Thanks ladies im going to try and catch her for a chat-
just really difficult as want to get her shoes an stuff sorted an Im obsessed with being organised! x
CommentAuthorWhovianbride
from what i can gather shes being really useless , i would not put up with it, and as far as i know its not tradition in anything that you must include grooms family in bridal party, as its the bridal party, you have girls from your family as bm's he has boys from his family as ushers etc, unless you want them as they are friends etc anyway
Met June 2009 on my Birthday,Met again July 2009 and got
together, May 2010 Moved in,Jan 2011 got pregnant,
August 2011 Got our own place, 2011 Had our Baby Girl,
Dec 2011 Got engaged, July 2015 Getting married! Yay!
CommentAuthorAna40
I think it's hard to judge as you don't seem to be close to her and so if you she does have any issues she may not have told you. I think it's really hard to comment on how much money someone has as it's such a personnel subject. I'm really close to my family and friends but I have no idea how much money they have left after bills, or even before they've paid their bills. X
CommentAuthorFernP61
No your not being silly she obviously doesn't give a hoot sack her I would cheeky cow x
CommentAuthorsarah
edited
I'm not a fan of sacking members of the bridal party unless there has been some gross misconduct. Because she isn't that close to you it would be surprising if she was super involved in your wedding. I can understand you being annoyed that she goes out on the weekend instead of doing things for your wedding, but it's her free time and it's her choice to do with it what she wants. Unless she promised to do something for you during the time the post was made, it'd be better to just ignore them. Secondly, I have a feeling that she doesn't know how important the role is to you and has different expectations of what she needs to do. How important is it that a member of H2B's family is in the bridal party? Is that more important then having someone involved in the planning and pre-wedding events?
CommentAuthorBecky1608
You definitely need to speak to her first. She may have really good reasons as to why she can't make the hen do xxx
29/09/2008 - The Day we met
12/11/2008 - When we decided to be more than friends
04/11/2012 - A proposal in Central Park NYC
08/11/2014 - The day we say I do!
CommentAuthorValentinaK
Hope you get to the bottom of this soon, but also have a think about your expectations from her and make it clear that those are the "terms" of her being a BM!
