H2B has announced tonight he no longer wants to stay at our venue the night before the wedding with his sons because it isn't fair on them. He now wants him and them to go and stay in his dads one bedroom home (static caravan) 30-40mins away.. Meaning I now will have to drop them off there on the Friday night, I will also have to go to our venue in the morning because he won't be there to over see things.. And he can't go there in the morning because, yet again, it's unfair on his sons..

He has also had a massive go at me for wanting the kids picked up during the night do at some point, because its unfair on them to leave..

I seem to have totally forgotten that this is their wedding day and not ours !! Every single person with kids I have known have had their kids picked up/taken away so they can have their wedding night/ next morning alone together.. But if he gets his way, we are now going to have to get up and get them ready to go home.. Perfect day for a new husband and wife ay !!

What they do and where they are on the day is more important to him than anything about our day it feels..

I have purposefully not mentioned the wedding since Saturday after he had a go at me for doing so, yet he brings all this up tonight and blames me for it and tells me I'm stressing him out and making him not excited...

Seriously p1ssed off at the moment and just want to cry my eyes out tbh..

Xxx

Sorry to say this hun but they are his children and they will always come first for him, even before you and your wedding. I think you may be getting more upset that the only thing he wants to talk about wedding wise is moaning about plans already made for it, and if you hadn't of had the chat you did the other night then this probably wouldn't get to you so much. I completely understand where you are coming from though because I am guessing that you both originally agreed on these plans and now he is changing them, and for you your wedding day and marriage to him is the most important thing. You have time to just wait a couple of months and talk it about it then and you can put your concerns to him then when things have calmed down a bit wedding wise and neither of you are as emotionally charged about it all as you are now. I really hope you can both come to an agreement to make you both happy xxx

Thanks LinziJo.. As I said above, he's just doing the argument about them staying on our wedding night to punish me.. I hope in a few months he'll decided otherwise.. I don't know why he's changed his mind about the venue but it really puts the whole thing out of wack and its going to be ridiculous him, them two and his dad getting ready in such a tiny place.. The kids will be old enough to just sit and watch tv in the room at our venue, but he's talking as if he's going to have to entertain them for the night.. They won't be as young as they are now !!
Xxx

Play him at his own game for now then hun. If you know he is doing it to wind you up then make him think that it hasn't worked! Just tell him OK that's fine with you if that is what he wants to do and then come back to it in a few months when this has all blown over and say about the whole getting ready in one room and watching over the preparations thing then and hopefully he will see the light xxx

Ah no that sucks :( At age 8 and 16; they can look after their selves and I'm sure they can 'cope' with father being away for one night!

Its seems like less hassle than 4 of them in the caravan. Maybe he is just doing it to annoy you! Ignore the whole thing for a few weeks, don't react to him. He may come crawling back with his tail between his legs. My OH is very stubborn and I have learnt to leave him sulking otherwise I only make him dig his heels in even more. lol xx

It isn't a hotel Paula, they only have 3 guest suites, one being our bridal suite.. It's not the night I'm overly fussed about, it's about spending our first morning as husband and wife running them around. I wanted to wake up, have a walk through the gardens, go sit by the pond.. But we won't be able to do that if they stay..
And also the fact the only thing he seems to care about our wedding is them..
I won't be mentioning the wedding for some time to him now.. Still have a year and 10 months for him to agree to them going home on the night.. I'll just hope for that for now.. Xxx

Thank you very much xxx

You still have almost two years to go so don't get too upset about that at the moment. You'll find an alternative or he'll change his mind at some point. But I agree to keep wedding talk to a minimum for now, just until the dust settles.

I'm not asking them because they will want to stay and I don't want them to. It's not like they can take themselves home as and when the please.. They live 30minutes away from us and our venue..

They won't be staying.. Hopefully once H2B has calmed down he'll realise he was being a douche and he'll see what's right xxx

Is it really that bad him staying with his sons the night before? Your not meant to see each other til you marry so it shouldn't really be an issue as for the wedding night yes I agree they shouldn't stay but if he's adamant I'm not sure what to say sounds like he's sticking to his guns Hun x

I think if you haven't got children yourself you can't really understand me and my partner have two children together, if we ever parted for any reason I know that we would put our children first before anyone/ anything else that's the risk you take when you get with someone who has children they were there first it's harsh but the truth, you have the rest of your lives together why key something small ruin your excitement for the wedding x

I would just tell him how your feeling. I know you said you want him to come to that decision by himself but if you don't tell him then how does he know. To you it might be obvious but his thinking on this may be different to yours. X

if he isn't going to budge, then to save yourself further stress you might be best trying to accept the situation . I know the isn't what you want to hear but if the situation isn't going to change I don't see what else you can do. X

I hope you get it sorted MrsH, I can see where you are coming from. We have 2 children 7 and 5 and on the night of our wedding they will spend the night in their grandparents hotel room and going home with them the next morning, so we can have the night and day to ourselfs. Our children will be joining in with the celebrations all day and night so they wont be left out at all by spending the night with grandparents. x

I'm confused, why is he starting this argument 22 months before you get married?

glad to see its resolved but omg I would have been furious, he sounds like he needs to grow up! (and a kick up the backside)

as bad as it sounds I cant imagine anything worse than having the kids with me on my wedding night, straight back to normality before the day is even done!