When my H2B proposed to me I knew who my bridesmaids would be, my two cousins, his two sisters and my best friend as MOH. She was over the moon about it and it was lovely. I told her that she would need to help me with certain aspects and she said she would. I firstly asked her to look for bridesmaid dresses, just to have a look online and to let me know what she liked, instead my SILs did it. I told MOH that I needed ideas soon because my auntie is making the dresses and needs to find a dress plan and material. I let that one slide.
I spoke to her months later and she still sounded excited and asked about her dress. I asked her if she could start getting ideas for a hen do and she said she would. I've heard nothing since about it. I started getting annoyed that she didn't seem interested and giving her the title of MOH was a waste of time and I should have given it to my eldest SIL who's done more, but for diplomacy I never took it away from her.
For the first time in two years since I moved from my home town she finally came up yesterday to see me. I showed her the venue and we even had a cup of tea there, I got the impression she didn't seem interested but she had not long traveled for over two hours on the train. When we got back to mine I showed her my outfit, minus the underwear, and her hair accessory. I've told her on multiple occasions that I want her and the BMs to have their hair down with light curls put in, but she still insists of having half up half down, she almost wants to match my hair do. I reminded her that the dresses suit their hair all down as it will look elegant rather than prom-like. What's also frustrating is that she said she wanted to look similar to my SILs but yet wants her hair different. Later on we all went out for lunch with H2B and one of our friends. I introduced our friend to my MOH when she said 'Hiya, I'm the chief bridesmaid.' I felt really annoyed about it, because she's done NOTHING helpful to be given the title. I even told her about my simple hen do plans, just a few drinks and a film the night before because everyone will be close by, she did not seem interested in the slightest, she said nothing about it and just changed the subject. In fact, she was more interested getting me to have a cigarette with her even though I told her plenty of times I was cutting down, not impressed.
During the wedding planning I have always asked people for advice, if I like their advice I'll take it on board but if I don't I explain why. I welcome advice but at the end of the day it is mine and H2B's wedding. I asked for advice regarding the BMs dresses because they have to wear them for the whole day and I want them feeling comfortable. But considering that I asked MOH's advice, to which she's given me none, I have gone ahead and planned this so for her to say 'I want this instead' takes the micky.
I spoke to my mum a few days ago and she told me MOH was very keen to try on her dress a few weeks ago after alterations, she brought all her bits with her and looked very eager. She's even told me how her boyfriend is excited to see her in her dress and how she's expecting a proposal from him on the day. I'm happy she's happy but I get the impression she's only interested in herself, in that as long as her dress and hair is how she wants it that's all that matters. I hate having attention on me but after spending a year planning this wedding I want it to be mine and H2B's day, not hers.
Sorry for the rant, I just needed to get it off my chest.
CommentAuthorMrsH-2B
She sounds like a handful.. If have probably demoted her along time ago and asked your sil.. I'm only having a moh which is my sil, but it is literally just a title.. I won't be asking her to do anything and I doubt she'll offer either but I do know she will wear what I ask and have her hair how I want.. It is the least she could do after all seeing as I won't be setting tasks.. Xxx
I can't wait to become his Wife :-)
4th July 2015
CommentAuthorMrsK2b
So sorry that your MOH is doing this to you. Have you spoken to her about how you feel?
I would have the pictures of how you want your BMs and MOH hair to be and tell your Hairdresser this is how you want it done and no one else is to change it.
Cant wait until I become Mrs K
CommentAuthorMrsWright290912
Rennie,
Most people (whacking great assumption here) who get asked to be MOH's seem to end up doing it for the title and not much else.
I had to arrange my own hen do, my MOH was supposed to stay with me the night before and cancelled last minute so i had to change all the plans I had for the day before and rush about all morning between 9 and 12 to get all the stuff to the venue and catch lifts off people after this time as my hubby needed the car to collect our best man and meet his parents who were travelling. My MOH didn't arrive until like 11am on the morning of my wedding and to be honest, I couldn't have cared less if she hadn't bothered to turn up as my 2 bridesmaids (who were asked 6 weeks before the wedding due to my lack of confidence in my MOH) did everything and anything i needed on the day. I don't actually remember speaking much to my MOH on the day and truth be told, despite my making contact several times since the wedding, i haven't really had anything back from her at all.
If it will cause issues, then just continue with her as MOH and carry on on your day. Otherwise tell her she isnt involved anymore and can come as a guest.
I really did marry my Mr Wright and we had a nice day for a
Wright wedding!
Mexico for our first anniversary
CommentAuthor*The NewMrsMalin*
Well like someone said; she seems to a handful. I'm not sure what to say and I didn't want to just read and run. I hope you get it sorted out :S
Met in 2009
Got together on12th May 2011, proposed on the 12th May 2013
When you get knocked down; smile and pick yourself up again!
Fight for what you believe in!
I was my friends bm and the girl who was moh did NOTHING no, the only thing she did do was book a limo for the hen night and then turn around to the bride and said and I quote! "You need to tell all your guests they owe me £25 each" WTF!!! At that point no guests and been even invited! So nevertheless the bride was pi$$ed off and felt very uncomfortable about it all so the groom ended up paying just over £200 for a flaming limo!
No one was impressed!
Then on the day she carried a manky handbag down the aisle, sat at the top table on her phone for the whole meal (so much so the best mans gf said to me- why aren't you moh?!) and then moh left early at 1130! Because it was a "guaranteed lift home" FFS me and my oh (hes was an usher) live 40mins away yet we ran errands for bth bride and groom on the morn, stayed for all pics (moh didn't because she was 'cold') we looked after bride and grooms baby, were last to bed and stayed over which cost us £120....
Can you tell I don't really like this moh? We have a history of falling out....
Even now moh is a user of this bride for example wanting lifts everywhere! I keep telling the bride to stop but so not confrontational!
Grrrr....
I'd say get rid of her because I guarantee you your bridesmaids are feeling annoyed!
Ill marry my hero
CommentAuthorRennie1989
Thanks for all the advice. I said to H2B that I'm tempted to make his sister MOH because she's done more than her and deserves it more. Never mind diplomacy, I need to do what's right. I'm also asking H2B's friend to sign our wedding certificate instead of MOH because I can't see us close friends after this (we've drifted apart since I moved away).
CommentAuthorWhovianbride
My original moh has at very least been demoted and may even be cut from being a bm at all, shes my daughters 'godmother' and was excited and interested at first but since has made no effort to come see us when she lives like 10 mins away unless i bribe her with pressies or food even then she always seems keen to go home, i've asked her on many occasions to come dress hunting with me but to no avail.
While my newish friend i met from antenatal is amasing, shes been with me to the venue and dress shoping, more than happy even excited to talk about wedding ideas! :)
So im thinking fo making her an my cousin co-matrons of honor then have my useless friend be bm
Met June 2009 on my Birthday,Met again July 2009 and got
together, May 2010 Moved in,Jan 2011 got pregnant,
August 2011 Got our own place, 2011 Had our Baby Girl,
Dec 2011 Got engaged, July 2015 Getting married! Yay!
CommentAuthorSJJ
I get that u r upset, she does sound a bit flaky, probably jealous if ahe is waiting for her boyfriend to propose! the only thing I was wondering is if she is planning a surprise hen do which is why she changed the subject and is keeping quiet about it?
CommentAuthorRennie1989
SJJ - She's not the type to go out of her own way for people like that.
CommentAuthorVelcro
id be furious if someone got a proposal at my wedding day...!!!
Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey
*Kelbel* is my wedding twinny!
CommentAuthorRennie1989
Velcro- I told her that as long as he doesn't propose at the wrong time (during the wedding ceremony, photos, meal, first dance and speeches) then I don't mind, it would add to the romance. But I'm still a bit iffy that she wants a proposal on MY wedding day.
I spoke to H2B in more detail about the situation and he supports my idea. I'll be calling my MOH later today. I'm worried about really upsetting her but I'm just going to regret it if I don't do it.
CommentAuthorAna40
I would have thought she would be excited as the day is drawing close. I hope the talk goes Ok. X
