I have a mixed bunch of bridesmaids to start I am alternative into metal, rock & goth music and well I use to Absolutely love going clubbing and every thing but now prefer to either go to the pub with friends or go round for a chat at one of their houses (love a bbq or outdoor party/gathering) bridesmaid 1. is into similar to me but is a little huge bit crazy bridesmaid 2. is into similar music to me but still loves to go clubbing bridesmaid 3. is extremely pink, girly and slightly chavy bridesmaid 4. is into similar music to me but more rock and well is a 6ft9 man who feels completely out of his league and a bit scared of the other bridesmaids, lol
BM1 thinks we should go out clubbing round blackpool (about 17 miles away), BM2 agrees with her but has some weird well OTT ideas for dressing me up and BM3 is happy with it all and thinks that though BM2 has some good ideas its best not to go pink. BM4 says its up to them. Then BM3 decided I was no longer aloud to be involved in the discussion, at which point I told them I would happily burn anything they tried to dress me in and I would not be seen dead in a club which they all thought was hilarious.
Well supposedly they have started there own discussion about this and well I am not particularly impressed as I don't think they understand how serious and amazingly stubborn I am.
My idea of a fun night would of been if I had the money (which I don't) something like glamping, but otherwise possibly a pub crawl (I would even wear some of their fluff as long as it was NOT pink and not OTT), though I would probably of preferred a meal then possibly a pub or two.
I really want to put my foot down with them but really do not want to upset them, I think I created a monster as only BM2 & BM4 knew each other before.
CommentAuthorMrsC.Wade2B
edited
I say defiantly put your foot down hun I know you don't want to upset them by saying something but its your night as much as theirs (in the sense of them being bm's and celebrating with you) and I know its normally traditional for them to plan it all but if you feel their choices are something you really wouldn't enjoy then say something as you don't want to spend the whole night not enjoying yourself, also why not write a list of things you like doing etc and then suggest they pick from that, I am sure if they are wanting to plan your night then they need to take into consideration how you feel about the choices they make and whether its something you'd be in to (hope that makes sense lol) x
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CommentAuthorVintageChic
I think Glamping could still be an option. Think about the amount you would spend on a night out in blackpool, travel expenses, accommodation for the night, club entry costs then the sheer amount that drinks cost. You could get some cheap booze from the supermarket bbq stuff and spend the rest on glamping. Stand your ground with them and show them you're serious about what you're not comfortable doing on your hen night. Its YOUR night after all. x
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CommentAuthorThe-Future-Mrs-B
I see your point, but I think it's quite nice they are wanting to arrange things for you, I think it is quite traditional for the bridesmaids to arrange your hen. I'm sure you'll have fun whatever the plans turn out to be.
CommentAuthorDecember
It is really nice that they want to put the effort in, so it's good that you're trying not to upset them because I think bridemaides (and bridesmens!) get a little stroppy when their fun job is taken away from them. Could you try having a quite dicussion with one of them, one that is sensitive and sensible. Explain how you feel and then they can work on the other 3, kind of be your representative on the board :)
I've told my BMs absolutely no pink fluff and no c0cks. My other friends are trying to over ride that, so I've had a little chat with the BMs and said that I really am serious, I don't want those things. BMS want you to love your hen do, so they wont want to upset you. As long as yo uhave a sensible, serious conversation so they know you are not kidding, I'm really sure they'll take your feelings on board and plan you an awesome night :) xx
I think it's really nice of them to be trying so hard but they probably don't realise that you're serious about not wanting those things. I'd either sit down and talk to them or send a group email listing things you 100% don't want and possibly give them a list of things you would like to do and they can choose from that?
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CommentAuthorKirstenD30
I agree with the list idea :). I'm not into clubbing etc either so I understand why you don't want to go. Just tell them you're willing to comprise with some of the outfit and where you go as long as they do to :) hope you have a fab night whatever you do x
CommentAuthor*KelBel*
This is the reason I'm planning my own so I get to do what I want! Definitely put ur views across about what u want to do x
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Got engaged 14/10/12 in Central Park NYC!
Became Mrs Macdonald 13th September 2014
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CommentAuthorMattsBride
Deffo tell them! I'm very lucky that my moh is planning my hen do and she is very similar to me with the same tastes unlike my other bridesmaids
CommentAuthorangel830609
I'm planning my own, I'm just having a spa day and getting pampered then going for a meal, I've told them I'm not into clubbing or pubbing and I want to enjoy it just as much as them but luckily all my bm feel the same as me, I like the list idea and like some of the other's have said put your foot down xx
it's been a long hard road, but hopefully we're getting
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CommentAuthorMrsGothBride
I think you should just go with it, im sure your friends know you! I too would describe myself in a similar way that you have yourself and my hen do also involved a bloke lol. My mates are nothing like me but they get me and didn't force me in yo anything, though we did end up prancing around Amsterdam in Madonna tshirts, wearing bright orange wigs and then finished the day at a Pink concert and you know what I loved every minute of it and had an amazing time!!
When we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours
we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying
weirdness and call it love, true love.
5th September 2013
CommentAuthorkrazykitty
have a chat with them, its the best option really so that you are all happy on the day :) although saying that im having a problem with mine at the minute i had it all planned out (not booked or anything) when i got told that they were planning it! well 2 of them anyway. I gave them my list of people and said that certain ones werent on facebook so let me know if they want numbers etc but let me know soon as they will need to book time off work etc. it is just over 2 months to go and still no one has been contacted! im getting really frustrated about it as i know im a teensy bit control freakish when it comes to important things but you would think that if i am trusting them with this then the least they could do is let me and the others know the date and time so we can book it off work!! it not too bad for me as i live here but my family and a couple of friends live about 2 hours drive away so need notice!!!!! ggtrrrrrrr rant over sorry to steal your thread!!! xxx
good luck though hun i really hope you manage to get it sorted out :) xxx
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CommentAuthorAmyK
Haha! When I asked BFF to be BM she squealed "ooooh, hen night!" To which I replied "whoah, easy! Don't get carried away yet, I'm planning that but there are loads of other things I'll need your help with, as I want a sort of mums & daughters day with spa treatments & maybe a meal". You've just gotta be straight with them - you're only getting married once, so you should have your hen the way you want it
CommentAuthoralmost a year wife!!
Well I thought it was bm's that usually organise it anyway? I'm sure whatever they u will love in the end...
Ill marry my hero
CommentAuthorLinS76
edited
I am going to be one of the bridesmaids on my sister's wedding ceremony. We have bought five bridesmaid dresses from *************** five colors:pink,purple, green, red and blue. I think it is interesting. If we have seven people,we can make the rainbow.
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