Basically Karl doesnt have a lot of family he speaks to! His dad died when he was very little and the womb that spawned him has no right to call herself a mother! But he is very close to his auntie! She is like a mother to him! Well before his auntie married into his family she had a daughter! Now that daughter is karl's best woman! well although we understand that she has a son and being a single parent it makes time hard but she is not fulfilling any duties of the best man! She seems to be more interested in my side of the wedding! She wants to plan his stag night but attend my hen night! I said NO! thats not fair on Karl.
Then came the stress over the outfits! She wanted to co-ordinate with my Maid of honour and again I said not a chance! I dont want her looking like a bridesmaid! All the options we gave her she isn't interested in! She wants a dress! She then said she has a black and white dress she said she will ware! Knowing that My dress is black and red and BM will be in one of them colours! Karl's suit will be black and he hasnt yet decided what colour shirt or anything yet so the dress will most likely not go with our colour scheme! She also sat there at his aunties when we were on about the dress and said she wants to see me in my dress before the wedding! Again I said no, The only people I want to see me in my dress before the day is my MOH and mother! If im feeling nice on the day I go to pick it up his auntie might see me in it as she is the one that ordered it for me! They have all seen a picture!
And then comes the stag night! She messaged karl saying she had a thought about going paint balling for the stag night! Karl is not to keen on the idea as they would need to go about 2 months before the wedding which puts it in February! Thats too soon after xmas and the month of his bday and with us already on a tight budget we cannot afford it! She didnt listen she started looking and working it out it was going to cost us in excess of £100 for his stag do! All he wants to do is a couple of pints, pool and then curry! She sat there and said well im still going paint balling! This upset H2B as she is only thinking what SHE wants not what he wants
and then to add another point although she knows numbers are tight she told us we had too add her new BF to the list of guests! Me and H2B are really stuck for what to do as if we tell her she is no longer best man she will take the hump and it will cause problems for Karl and his auntie and then could cause him not to have any guests at at the wedding! We both want the whole family there as neither of us have many outside friends!
Just needed somewhere to vent all this so sorry guys! xx
CommentAuthorFaeth
I think she is missing the point of being a "best man"...... she's supposed to assist the groom, not do what she wants.... We've had this a bit with h2b's best man, as his idea of organising the stag do is to try and introduce h2b to all his mates and see if they get along okay, and then have the stag to with them - which is stupid - why would h2b want a stag do with a bunch of guys he's met only once and aren't invited to the wedding?! LOL
I have another close friend who plans to take the best man to one side, and have words with him..... Is there another person who knows you all who can try and rein her in? So that it doesn't come directly from you guys and therefore cause problems?
"Of course I'm not wedding obsessed!!"
CommentAuthorUnknown
i think you need both need to sit down and explain to her that she is there to help the groom like faeth said.
a normal best man wouldnt go on your hen or see your dress so you need to tell her this. you still have a year to the wedding and dont want this for the entire time.
also you need to tell her that she will be wearing what you and the groom want as it is your day and you two make all the decisions! xx
CommentAuthorjanetx71
i guess its a difficult one to deal with on one hand she is female and its not so strange that she would want to wear a dress or that she would be interested in your hen night if your oh is wearing a black suit then it limits her options she may not feel right in a black dress for a wedding and would look a bit daft in a mans black suit so like i said her options are limited have you tried suggesting colours or outfits for her while i agree the stag night is all about the groom its his special time so she should do what he wants.i dont know this woman but perhaps a few pints and a game of pool isnt really her scene, i mean for me it would be a hellish night out however would your oh really be so upset if she went to the hen night and the stag night i mean its not going to hurt anyone and if he doesnt have a problem with it then why not? as for seeing you in your dress errrrr that would be no i mean thats not for public view until the day. im not sure but i get the feeling you dont like this girl much either way your h2b is fond of her and his auntie sounds like a great lady so would it really be such a hassle to try and include her in some of the girlie stuff as well xxxxxx
CommentAuthorx ashlil x
i agree with the ladies, her role is to assist not take over, try and sit down and have a chat with her, if you dont get anywhere all you can do is say if she cant respect your wishes, then she cant be best man x
Thanks ladies! :-) Its nice to have other points of view on this matter! We have spoken to his auntie and going to see what happens from there! If nothing changes then we will have to chose someone else! Hopefully she will realise that she isnt going to get it her way! :/
