you can do your flowers if you want and just tell the lady who wants to share that you are having pastel colours and if she wants to use them then she can but they will be your colours and your theme.

You are leaving it up to them then

personally i would state "tough i have already paid for my flowers, i was not told within a reasonable time frame ie before i paid, therefore if they want to share MY flowers, they are more than welcome to however they have ALREADY been paid for & I am in a legally binding contract & cannot breach it"

also, if they are not paying towards the use of your flowers then tough t!tt!es to them!

The problem is that I havent paid for my flowers. My florist is trying to be supportive but its basically the church telling her that she cant do what we'd agreed. Shes only a small florist who uses the flowers from her family farm and so we had to wait until now to see what flowers she can get. Hence no monies paid. Im just really annoyed that I have been planning all this for a year and another couple come in with 2 months to go and completely overule everything I'd imagined. I have contact details for the other couple. Do you think that it is worth getting in touch with them? x x

I think you could try giving them or the church ladies a call and ask if they would mind delaying putting their flowers in just until after your ceremony. That will still give them the evening and morning before their wedding so plenty of time, plus her flowers will then look lovely and fresh, not having sat around for so long and possibly be knocked by your guests.

People are reasonable, so I think if you speak to them and explain that its important to you and that you're not trying to stop them doing what they want, just asking them to delay installing their flowers, they should understand. If not, call the vicar! :)

but you still have a contract with you florist, what you had agreed on! so even if they are not paid its still a legally binding contract which you can not breach.

I agree with the others, request that the flowers for them gets put out later, after your ceremony, & inform the other couple that this is what you have requested. they cant FORCE you into anything if they are AFTER you!

My guess would be that the church ladies put the flowers in the church on a weekly basis, and do it on a voluntary basis (ie don't get paid). If so, it really has to her/their choice when they put the flowers up as they can't really arrange their life around a bride's flower wishes every week.
If you were the only one getting married that weekend, then it may have been a mutually beneficial arrangement, you get the flowers you want, and they don't have to put them up as you have your own florist. They may have wanted you to leave an arrangement so the church didn't look bare after the wedding.
Now there's two weddings on the weekend, the other of which wants church flowers. The church flower ladies now have to do their weekly flower job that week and obviously want to do it when they usually do it. They'll be white with green foiliage as this is neutral and suitable for all weddings. They'll now be throwing out your arrangement as there'll be other flowers in the church.

I would suggest visiting the church on a Saturday (or whatever day of the week your wedding will be on) and seeing where/how many flowers there are. Then try to adapt what you want around this. If the reason that you're now only allowed one pedestal arrangement is to make it easy/quick for the church flower lady after your wedding (they wouldn't normally have to take flowers down on a Saturday, so this is extra work for them), then let them know that a member of your wedding party will be removing the arrangements for them, and therefore could you have more than one.

Sorry if this sounds a bit blunt, but I really think you have to fit in with the church on this one. A lot of people who do stuff for their church do it in their own time, and out of kindness. They're already adjusting their usual arrnagements to suit you. The offer to still let you have one arrangement was a compromise for them. If you're going to discuss it with the church, then I would approach it in a way that makes it obvious you appreciate the effort they put in, and that you're aware that your wedding is just one small part of their week. Ask what you could do to make it easier for them.

The other couple is the day after, not the same day. Even if it was the same day, so long as there was a gap between them so there'd be no overlap of guests arriving/leaving then I don't see why it would be a problem.

i am with the majority here! its not acceptable the church was hapy with arrangements before this new couple came along if anyone should compromise it should be them. The church ladies did not complain when you were doing the flowers so they didnt have to. It is very kind (and more than i would have done) to offer the couple the use of your flowers especially how expensive they are! and would have been a simple solution so i dont know why they dont jump at it. And yes church peple are normally volunteers BUT i bet they have not voluntered the church for free!! therefore you are paying to have it how you want it!! i think they are being totally unreasonable and i would be letting them know that.
Maybe try speaking to the other couple maybe she will be a little more understanding as im sure she would be heartbroken if all her plans were coming undone . Also talk to anyone else at the church who has a bit of authority just becasue this lady is a volunteer does not mean she can behave badly or unreasonably you are supporting your church something the church needs especially at the moment and people like her are part of the reason they are unsupported!!

i sincerely hope you get this sorted and quick!

she'd be getting it in the neck. who is she to tell you what you can and cant have.

Find someone above this pompous jumped up old cow and have a word - or if youre not the confrontational kind, get someone to go with you, there is no way I would stand for that, especially as you have had yours booked for longer, and it was all fine and dandy until someone for the following day came along. it shouldn't make a blind bit of difference

tell them to get stuffed.

and remind them jhust how UN-Christian they are being

idiots

Find out what time the church people are putting their flowers in, then get your florist to go in later, take them all away and put yours out (hide the others out of sight) and then ask someone to swap them back for you again after the ceremony has finished, then you get your flowers, and the other couple get theirs xxx

LittleMissWorry I agree with you about the church, I understand that people are cross about the way they have changed the arrangements and we all feel that our day should be our way, but I think you need to be careful how you go about this. Storming in and making demands will get you no where at all. Especially with church ladies who are very involved in the normal running of the church, its more likely to make them dig their heels in.

Could you let them put their white flowers in, then ask your florist to add pastel colours to them, which could be removed after your ceremony? This would mean you get even more flowers, which would look stunning :)

Tell them to get stuffed. Your weddign was booked first and if your florist is settingup then why would they need to set up the flowers for the couple the day after you on the morning of your wedding? They would be quite easliy able to come in after your ceremony. They may like white flowers with green foliage but remind them that God made the flowers and so they house of the lord should enjoy whatever flowers you supply being in there. If the bride the following day doesnt like them suggest you will have your flowers removed post ceremonyt and she can pay for her own !!!!!

reading this jut makes me all the happier I didn't go go for a church wedding, they don't really do themselves any favours being as unaccommodating as these people are being. Volunteers or not, makes no odds to you or your wedding and especially do to the fact that you have your own florist. I personally wouldn't take it lying down or try to compromise. I see no reason why they can't wait. they knew fine well your wedding was booked and what time, it wouldn't have hurt to have done it after the wedding, or if that wasn't possible, then she gets her own florist in. I don't see why you, who have had your wedding booked for as long as you have should be the one to compromise when the other wedding party aren't.

I don't think this is very nice or acceptable and definatly not 'christian', I would be mega mad and if the church lady is being really unreasonable i would talk to the minister about how upset you are that this wedding thats was booked a couple of months ago is being put before yours which was booked a year ago. I understand these church ladies are volentiers and unpaid but you are PAYING for your wedding and if your using your own florist are they setting up your flowers? coz then they have nothing to moan about if you get someone to remove them wether is be bms and ushers and then the church ladie can set up for the other bride, personaly i would not want my wedding flowers there the whole say before the day of my wedding i would want them as fresh as possible not wilting or dropping at all. If they still are being unreasonable and you can afford to maybe mention to minister that if he can help you could could make a further donation to the church.

yeah but neither is treading all over someones dreams and being difficult for the sake of it!

And by the way, I doubt the minister has any real saying on flower logistics in the church

if they are fresh flowers as well - which im assuming they are, they will have wilted the following day.

Correct me if im wrong, but Ive read it as OP as having her own florist - which is why I cant understand why she's being made to compromise when the other couple seemingly aren't.

IF I have read this wrong, then I guess, I would be a little less rigid on my views as a compromise then would HAVE to be reached - but I still don't think OP should have to compromise in favour of another couple swooping in for the next day

I would see it simply as first come, first served, if she came in later and expected this that the other then it would be a different story, but as far as it looks from my POV, she has her own florist, they can be set up and moved by HER florist. HOW should a wedding the next day affect this at all? I know if I was the other couple in question, I wouldn't want my flowers all laying out the afternoon before, id want them as fresh as possible

My church is very very quiet...I think we are the only wedding booked in there that day. and the vicar has basically said we can have anything we like - as long as it isnt heavy metal or something similar. We have offered to donate all our flowers to the church that week which saves the flower ladies a job and also ensures we can have exactly the flowers we want. Could you perhaps offer to donate your flowers and see if the other bride would be happy to leave them there for her ceremony...i know its not a brilliant solution because then the other bride is using your flowers....but you wont be there for that and so as long as you have the flowers you want it may not be a big problem what happens to them after that?? x