Ok so H2B's sister is one of my BM's, as some of u know I didnt want her as a BM but thats a whole different story. Any way she is pregnant. Due in october, im getting married in Dec. I have already ordered the dresses. What am I gonna do if she cant fit in her dress????? She has put on a huge amount of weight already. Is it fair to say that if she doesnt get in the dress, she has to pay for it and she wont be BM.
Also one of my other BM's are trying for a baby!!! ARRRRRGGGGGHHHH. Im sorry but u agreed to be BM, so why try for a baby after I have ordered your dress (which can I add are costing me £200 each and I have already paid half of the cost). What am I gonna do if she falls pregnant and cant get in her dress. Its really worrying me.
Am i being selfish?
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CommentAuthorRoxii
No you're not being selfish, but you don't need to worry really, as the 1st BM may lose all the weight as soon as she gives birth. But the other BM can you not ask her if she can either just hold on a little while, or whether she minds you asking her to step down from being a BM? And see what you can do about the dresses and exchanging payments and cancelling 1 dress or something? x
CommentAuthorHoxxyhula
Tricky one this. I sympathise on the cost of the dresses but I don't think it is fair to ask someone to put off trying for a baby...maybe cross these bridges if and when you come to them? Could the dresses be altered at all (at their expense of course!) xx
CommentAuthorRoxii
Actually yeah, it does seem a bit mean asking someone to wait... I didn't think that as I wrote it.. not my fault i'm sometimes slow :P. But I also don't agree that the BM should have to pay for the dress if she has to step down from being a BM... Soo I think Hoxxyhula's right... Maybe altering the dresses and asking them to pay for it would be the best option for you atm x
CommentAuthorsbride
Yeah altering the dresses is an option but if she falls pregnant now, she will be 6 months pregnant by my wedding. I dont think its fair to ask her to wait, but its also not fair her trying for a baby after me putting the deposit on a dress for her. If she does fall pregnant and cant get in it and it cant be altered, no way am I paying for the dress coz thats £200 of my money wasted becuase she got pregnant. I know it probably sounds harsh but she shouldnt of agreed to be BM and let me put a deposit on a dress and then decide to tell me she is gonna try for a baby.
I have to agree with Hoxxyhula not fair asking someone to wait/put off plans for one day....I would try get them altered too xx
CommentAuthorPuddleduck87
I agree with you. She shouldn't have given you sizes for the dress if she is trying for a baby. Just tell her that your happy she wants to start a family but can she either leave it until after the wedding so her dress will still fit or kindly step aside and let someone else wear her dress. As for your other bridesmaid if she didn't know she was pregnant before the dress was bought surely you can't be mad with her. I know the dresses have cost you a lot of money but surely your day should be about your loved ones being with you on your special day not the dresses. If they don't fit get them to buy there own that do. xxx
CommentAuthorvintage lass
Awah what a nightmare!!! I do think it is unfair to ask someone to place all future plans on hold in order to fit into a dress...HOWEVER...I also think it unfair they they agree to being BM knowing that there is a possibility that you will be out alot of money! If this was me.....Id ask for bm to pay for alterations (as my dresses also cost over 200 quid each) and if she decided not to then Id sell the dress online! Personally I wont be paying any more towards bm's, pregnant or not and Id imagine your the same at this stage and dont need the extra costs! xxx
CommentAuthorMelly
If she has only just started trying for a baby, it may take a while yet. xx
CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
i think it would be fair to ask her to pay for any alteration IF she is pregnant at the time
can you ask the shop weather they have an exchange policy for some larger sizes. theres only so far you can go with letting dresses out it would be a shame for the bm's to have to step down because they are so big.
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CommentAuthorskitty666
the first bm could loose all of her weight and the other might take a while to get pregnant if she has only just started xx
CommentAuthorsbride
With regards to H2B's sister, I knew she was pregnant when we got the dresses so no im not mad with her, just worried she wont get in the dress coz of how big she is. I suppose I will just have to play it by ear. And I suppose with my other BM, if she does fall pregnant i will just cross that bridge when it comes to it. I think im just feeling a bit sad at the mo becuase of the way H2B's parents are being and its really getting to me, so im stressing over everything. Thanks for the advice everyone x
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CommentAuthor~*~ Becca ~*~
only thing u got to watch is after bm no 1 has baby it may take aw hile to lose the weight...it doesnt automatically shift off unless ur a celeb and doing ridiciulas amount of exercise so just have a think about that!
like everyone else said..can take a while to get pregnant for some people!!! just play it by ear as u said hun xxx
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CommentAuthor~* Jen *~
edited
I don't agree with a couple of people on here - you should NEVER ask someone to stop trying for a baby just because of fitting into a dress, and how would you feel if you were asked not to be a BM because you were pregnant? Surely having a baby and getting excited is supposed to be a lovely feeling, and if you want to be there for your friend, you'd be crushed if you were told because you were pregnant you can't be anymore!!
I totally agree with Emsy, Lalabunni and Kirsty, you should be able to get them altered nearer the time, instead of asking them to step down, and I think it's fair to ask for a contribution towards the alterations, but in a way that shows you are still happy that they are pregnant. xxxx
CommentAuthorCeCe
edited
..all I can say at this moment is WOW to £200 per BM dress!
...if I had asked someone to be a BM and they agreed..then let me know rhy where trying for a baby then I would be asking them:
1) What is going to happen if you fall pregnant before the wedding...ask re her dress, how is she gonna feel being a preggy BM..add the dresses have been ordered already to fit their current dimensions? 2) If they are pregnant or too weighty (due to post baby weight) would they be will ing to pay for the dress they cannot wear but you have paid for?
Perhaps asking them these straight talking questions and letting them now it is costing you an amazing amount per dress will make them consider the realities of being pregnant and being a BM.
NOW is the time to address this issue. Leaving it any longer will just prolong th worries...
CommentAuthorLindsey Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ
Hi, dont really know what to suggest but as we have the same bridesmaid dresses i do know they are not gonna be the easiest to alter as they are a pretty fitted design..though a good seamstress would manage. I ave to have mine altered too....my bridesmaid decided to get a size bigger and have it taken in, but the alternative was to bank on her losing some weight.
I would say just have a quiet word with them.....even if you explain you are slightly worried, you never know....they may come up with a solution. :)
Hope things go well for ya xxx
CommentAuthorx~Hails~x
Wow i REALLY dont agree on some people suggesting you asking her to hold off on trying for a baby, after all they wouldnt ask you to postpone your wedding so they can have a baby, so what right have you the other way around!!!
The only things i can suggest is having the dresses altered or asking them both to step down and find someone else.
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CommentAuthorMrs Steph Lapworth
Ive got to agree with the others it would sound very rude if u asked her to put trying for a baby on hold i wouldnt like it but if the worse does happen then just get the dress altered x
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CommentAuthorsbride
There is no way I would ask her to to put it on hold, Im not that sort of person. I just wish she would of said something when we went and ordered the dresses. If she would of told me then that she was gonna be trying for a baby, I could of said, well shall we wait a bit before odering the dresses, then if she did fall pregnant I could of ordered a different style rather then a seriously fitted dress, lol. I think cece is right and I should just ask her what she wants to do about the dress if she does fall pregnant, but Im not paying for it if she isnt going to be BM.
