Bit of a long story, I'm sorry, but I need some views and advice. I wrote on here a while ago that my H2B's daughter was not attending our wedding because she would be 34 & half weeks pregnant and we are getting married in Gretna Green, which is 2 hours travel for us and she was worried about travelling at a late stage in her pregnancy. Well she broke up with her boyfriend and decided she would like to come to the wedding as she would be on her own as all the family would be at the wedding. We re-arranged with the hotel and changed the rooms around so her and her 3 yr old son could attend. We were both really pleased she was coming. She has got back together with her boyfriend this week and tonight she attended an anti-natal class and apparently asked the midwife if it would be safe to travel at 34 & half weeks, she said the midwife said no she would not advise it and she would be putting herself and her baby at risk. My H2B was upset and angry, well we both were, so he has rung the maternity unit at his local hospital and asked their advice, the midwife there said she could see no reason why she could not be able to travel, it is only 2 hours, as long as she takes her notes with her. It is her second pregnancy, she did not go into premature labour with her first and has not had any complications with the pregnancy. We feel we don't want to force her into going but want her to come and don't want her to mess up around. What do you all think? Would you travel 2 hours in a car at 34 & half weeks? Are any of you midwives? If so what is your view/advice? Would really appreciate some input?
Met on 7th April 2008
Got engaged on 14th November 2011
Getting married on 12th December 2012
Looking forward to the rest of my life with the man I love
CommentAuthormillz090
Without being rude or upsetting you, she sounds like she is making excuses and doesnt actually want to come?! Also I think every pregnancy is different and while some women could travel comfortable at 34 weeks I'm sure for other women it is a nightmare as depends how the pregnancy is affecting their body. I would sit her down and talk to her about it and see if yo can find out why is making excuses?! xxx
Finally marrying the love of my life !!
10th August 2013 - 9 years to the day we met !
CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
edited
There really is no reason why she could not travel. As long as they take regular breaks in order to have a walk and mobilise her legs to avoid a DVT, and as long as she has had no complications and takes her notes with her so that if anything happens the local hospital will know what her pregnancy has been like. Also you as she has a son, was he early, late or on time?
Our wedding day - 6 October 2012
CommentAuthorMorgsysGirl(kempy)
When pregnant with both my two I travelled all through about 2 and half hours for us, even did it at 38 weeks with my first to visit the in laws. We live in birmingham they live in Lancaster. I just make sure I have my notes and my hospital bag if it is close and then if something happens we would be prepared. Even this time we are going up for new year ill be about 26 weeks then and will be going up start of feb so 30 + weeks then and When Im that big we just stop more so Im not as uncomfortable. Evie was 2 weeks early so I'll be carefull traveling late with this one but it wouldnt stop me. Like glitter says would just stop and have a walk at a services because of the Risk of DVT (especially as im on clexane with this one) but if shes had no previous problems in this pregnancy and her son was on time I cant see the problem.
However it seems as it was before when she was with her bf she didnt want to go and now shes with him again she doesnt want to so is it him stopping her attending her dads wedding? as while she was single she was willing to do it!?
Just get hubby to ask her straight out hun tell her theres no point lying as youd rather know the truth! x
Married my soul mate 22-6-2012
Conceived baby 3 on our wedding day!
Due 15-3-2013 baby will join our two other beauties!
So glad I'm finally a Morgan!
CommentAuthorTori
Is it her or bf that is stopping her from going hun? Seems that she was happy to come when he wasn't around. Could she be making excuses to cover for the fact that bf doesn't want to go therefore doesn't want her to go? X
I'm 23 weeks pregnant at the minute and I can safely say I would have no problems travelling for 2 to 2.5 hours if I was invited to a family wedding. She doesn't have to drive herself as someone else could take her, if she did go into labour which is very doubtful she would not be alone and you could always make plans for someone to get her to the nearest hospital safely if the need did arise so long as she brings her notes with her. Plus at the wedding she does not need to stay all day, she could attend for a few hours then go back to the hotel if she was feeling tired.
Someone else said her boyfriend is probably telling her not to go, that could be true.
CommentAuthorMrs-Mouse-2-be
Whoops was meant to say that I'd have no probs travelling that distance in 9 weeks time.
CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
oh for heavens sake ..... she woulds be sat in a car not hiking up a mountain ... let me think what more danger would she be in doing that or going shopping for the afternoon (which is normally more than 2 hrs)... yes take her notes with her that sensible , i agree with the point that maybe its the BF that is changing her mind ... that going to be a happy relationship if he is telling her she cant come !!!
oh and you are getting married in civilization aren't you not in the middle of Dartmoor or the outer Hebrides
That's ridiculous, I did an hour commute including a long walk every day until over 38 weeks. Sitting in a car for 2 hours is not going to do any damage! All they normally advice is if you're travelling more than an hour away in 3rd trimester, look up where the local hospital is and make sure you take your notes with you (which you're supposed to do all the time anyway). Did she ask the midwife if it was 'safe to travel' or 'safe to trael by car for 2 hours'? If the former, the mw might have thought she meant abroad, that's the only explanation I can think of if she has no history of premature birth.
CommentAuthorEleanorR
Just thought I'd add at 34.5 weeks I went to an awards ceremony and was up partying until after midnight so again I don't see why she wouldn't be able to attend the whole wedding unless she has complications.
CommentAuthorStaceyP91
Oh dear lol I travelled to Vegas at 28 weeks pregnant!!! As long as she has her notes and hospital bag I can't see no reason to not travel only 2hrs away....
Xxxx
30-11-13 my life becomes complete
Mrs Solomon to be
CommentAuthorElle23
I travelled distances with both my pregnancies at that stage I agree she may not of explained it was here & not a flight
I would also be questioning if it was the BF putting her off
Real shame, hope you get it sorted
To be wed on our 10 year anniversary! 23.08.2013
CommentAuthorbarbie86
I agree with the above. There could be a few things going on here:
1) The midwife assumed she meant flying (a lot of people take 'travel' to = flying), in which case no, she wouldn't be able to travel at 34.5 weeks. So, she hasn't lied about what the midwife said, but there have been crossed wires.
2) She has deliberately lied about what the midwife said because for some reason she doesn't want to go.
If it's 2, then there could be a couple of reasons for this. As others have said, it could be that her partner doesn't want her to attend, either because he's concerned about her travelling that distance that late in pregnancy (some men can be very protective; this might particularly be the case if it's his first child), or because he doesn't want to attend the wedding and so is selfishly stopping her from going. Or, it could be that when she was single, she would have felt left-out with everyone going, but now that she will have someone to stay home with her, she would rather not go as she's worried about comfort etc. So, it could be that it's her who doesn't want to go, for whatever reason.
I think that really your H2B should speak to her, and try to find out what's going on; it might be that whatever it is can be addressed/resolved. Failing that, I'd simply keep the invite open, so that if she has a change of heart, she knows she's welcome.
CommentAuthorMrs-Mouse-2-be
If she doesn't go you could always link her up via Skype so she can watch the wedding as it happens.
CommentAuthorDonda
Thanks for your feedback ladies, we really appreciate it, we both feel the same, everything you have all said is what we said and we can feel now as if we are not being selfish about it, I think we were worried that we being bias in wanting her to come because she is his daughter and we both want her there and that we may not be taking her pregnancy into account properly. I used to live in Salisbury on an army base, and travelled back and forth to Wirral every weekend to visit our families right up to 38 wks pregnant. We think that is does have something to do with her getting back with her boyfriend, it has not been an easy or healthy relationship shall I say and he is no longer invited to the wedding, they were certain they were not getting back together, but they have and we think he has probably said he doesn't want her to go, he is very possessive, not in a good way though. My H2B has spoken to her about it today, we will be taking a couple of breaks on the journey so she can have a little walk about and stretch her legs. She has said that is definitely going to come. He told her she is not to change her mind again and hopefully that is that. I'll-b-36 we are having skype on as my brother lives in Dubia and can't come, so we will be linking with him, so if she does change her mind again she can link up too(if my H2B's not too annoyed with her LOL). Once again thanks everyone xx
Met on 7th April 2008
Got engaged on 14th November 2011
Getting married on 12th December 2012
Looking forward to the rest of my life with the man I love
CommentAuthorPB
I travelled to Edinburgh( 3.5 hrs)at 34 weeks pregnant for a weekend away with my husband .We hiked up hills and spent hours walking around the castle and shops and although i was worn out at the end of it i never thought it was at all risky which of course it wasn't! It never even entered my head to take my notes with me and. if i had started in labour i could of been home with 24hrs to spare lol' I hope your h2bs daughter doesn't change her mind again,she might regret it if she does. xxx
