Im trying to work out numbers for our guestlist. Money could be the deciding factor in where we get married and Im confused about plus one etiquette?
Since we are fairly young (23 and 24) the majority of our friends are single. What are other people doing about invites with plus ones?? A lot of them know each other, since they are mostly uni friends, therefore do we HAVE to give them a +1 option? Those with long term partners fine, but what about the perpetually single ones? xxx
CommentAuthor4lannie4
i am only doing long term partners no plus ones to the daytime, when i send my invites out 4 months before hand if they have been with them a while will invite them otherwise it could snowball xx
CommentAuthorMrs Mara Tester
All of our plus ones are coming in the evening, unless they come from a distance. xx
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CommentAuthoryvonne
we have the same problem..i see it this way..i'm not going to send a plus one to single friends as i would have to leave out an actual friend and could end up with a dozen or so people we don't even know at our wedding..so no i wouldn't automatically send +1 invitations out. xx
CommentAuthorClaire Sky
Same here, h2b went to uni and were only inviting his friends not +1 x such alot of extra money to pay out! Most friends won't mind xxxxx
yeah that sounds pretty much the same as me, plus ones in the evening unless from away in which case they will be invited xx
CommentAuthorDiana89
I think if they're coming from a distance and/or don't know many/any other people then +1. If they're local and know everyone then no. My reception is pretty much open invites though so no worries for me :)
CommentAuthor
I've taken a view on each guest individually as we are way over what the room will hold. We are not having separate daytime and evening invites so if it's a cousin I'm putting plus one but a friend who will know plenty of people there I haven't. If any of the people without a plus one ask me if they can bring someone I'd probably say yes though nearer the time.
CommentAuthorRebecca2286
Hmm, yeah, evening plus 1 sounds good. At least for his friends since he went to uni in London, and we're getting married in Hertforshire. Mine are from Leeds though, where I went to uni, but I guess they know each other well enough to cope without! Yvonne I know what you mean, I dont want a load of random people, just people we know and love. And Diana...jealous! Thanks ladies!
CommentAuthorMrs Turps (Nicpep)
I'm only doing plus ones for the couples, the singles are staying single. A couple were really pleased about it because if all the single ones are invited singlly, they have a chnace of meeting someone! lol
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CommentAuthorDiana89
Good idea nicpep. My whole thing is really informal so as long as I know we're within the venues cacapacity if someone wants to attend they can :)
CommentAuthorMrs (Dove) Pidgeon
Not doing plus ones generally to the day, but a few in the evening. We said we will review the situation closer to the wedding as well if we have space.
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CommentAuthorKirsty4Paul
sorry to reignite this topic after such a long time but I've been wondering the same thing! single friends no problem I wont be doing plus one but what about where you have never met your friends boyfriend? or I have to invite my stepbrothers who I don't see very often anyway and I dont wanna invite all their girlfriends as well as i dont know them and I cant invite that many people and would rather fill the spaces with people i actually want there. Some of these are long term partners but I feel I dont wanna take up and pay for space for people i dont know eeek what to do!!
CommentAuthorXLittleMissMe!X
When I was single I went to weddings on my own without a plus one but then I knew other guests. Also if you have work groups coming etc then they see it as a works night out so you don't have to invite their partners as they know people there they can talk to. I would say as long as they know other people at the wedding they can talk to then they don't need to have a plus one. Its only for those that don't know anyone else there. You can easily explain to them that there is a limited number of places at the venue so you have had to prioritise to those you know or it would mean half the people you care about would not be able to attend. People should be grown up enough to be able to enjoy their day meeting new people and holding conversations with them.
CommentAuthorKirsty4Paul
thanks hun that really helped I feel like am being a bitch about it by not inviting some peoples partners but its so expensive anyway i dont wanna make it worse!!
CommentAuthorXLittleMissMe!X
We are also only inviting people that we actually see on a regular basis. If we haven't seen them in years they are not coming just because they are family etc. If they don't like it then they should make more of an effort to be part of our lives.
CommentAuthorEmsy5000
we are having married people or partners but other than that no one else is getting plus ones everyone at the wedding will know at lest one other person they are just gonna have to cope or not come.
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CommentAuthorKirsty4Paul
what about if you dont know their partner?
CommentAuthorkrazykitty
i'm doing the same jo if i dont see them or get on with them particularly well then they not on my guest list ry is sorting his out (tho keep asking and he will eventually get around to it!) but im not having plus ones unless i know them a bit or they the long term partner of someone special! Like my cb she has been with her partner for at least 4 years and iv met him at least twice so he coming and her mum is invited to eve unless she wants it other way round but it up to her wheras moh is single at min so she coming on her own tho am a bit worried no one will know anyone properly we cant afford everyone we want as it is never mind plus ones lol
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CommentAuthorKirsty4Paul
im glad other people are doing this i just feel a bit ruthless but like you say you cant invite everyone
CommentAuthorGregorysGirl
It isn't ruthless it is cost effective, lol. I think out of all our guests there are only 2 without partners and I am not giving them a plus one as there is enough family and friends for them to not feel on their own, and I can't afford to feed people I don't even know! I think wedding etiquette is so different now that it is whatever works for you and h2b. x
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CommentAuthorKirsty4Paul
my main concern is I have 3 adult stepbrothers who i prob see twice a year and dont even really talk to, dont really wanna invite them but feel like i have to but they all have partners as well at the moment (been together maybe 6 months to a year) do i have to invite their partners even though i never met them?
CommentAuthorGregorysGirl
With that one it is a bit tough, because they may not turn up without their partners, but on the other hand if you don't want them there anyway it might work out to your advantage! :)
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CommentAuthor*Vixie*
i refused to give people plus ones as were having a very small wedding. im not paying to feed people that ive never met before xx
CommentAuthorslybacon
We're not doing plus ones... We're only inviting friends/families partners if they're a long term partners. I just don't want to pay for people to come if I don't know them. x x
CommentAuthorMrsE
We've invited plus ones on VERY close family friends :) xx
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CommentAuthorXLittleMissMe!X
Put it this way.................. If people don't like it give them the offer that they can bring x,y,z if x,y,z pay the £50-£75 a head for the meal and drinks etc :)
