I need some opinions please ladies.... my 2 best friends are presuming they are bringing plus ones and we don't really have the budget for it plus it was supposed to be family and close friends only. Firstly they are both bridesmaids and they know all my family and all H2B's family too plus our friends and i will be inviting their parents to the whole day as we all grew up together so will know most people going.

My first best friend is travelling the world so wont be back until April anyway, i have meet her boyf once as they only just got together as she left so chances of me getting to know him between now and the wedding are slim too. My second best friend has just started dating too so not been together long but both hinted on skype yesterday (we have to skype as she is travelling) that they wanted seperate rooms as boyfs staying too. I didnt realise i was inviting them? If they both stay with these boyfs then only be together about a year and i hardly know them and may not either.

Im tempted to stand my ground and say No however if i was invited to a wedding without H2B i would be miffed but suppose the difference is we have been together 8 years and live together.

Can i just invite them to the evening do? Thoughts please ladies xxx

We have 80 coming so not small wedding but that is family and close friends....

I agree with Selina, that's what we're doing. We have 32 for the ceremony and an additional 16 for the reception. We just told people that it's a small do and although we want to invite loads of people we are a little constrained by venue sizes and we'll put them on the waiting list. Everyone is fine with it except those kicking off over h2bs mother not bing invited (separate issue)

It sounds harsh, but I think people forget that it is down to the bride and groom, it is their day and they have the right to invite who they like. I think people hear the word 'wedding' and automatically assume that they can dictate. They become pushy, inconsiderate and down right blooming rude!!!

And that's just my mother... lol!!! You shouldn't have to justify yourself to anyone! xx

No my bridesmaid are my best friends in the whole world and we have known each other since we were 9 but i dont want to be harsh and upset them by not coming but equally we have a budget too. Do you think its ok to invite them for the evening do? xxx

Absolutely, one of my bridesmaids actually said her oh would prefer that, lol, saved us a seat at the ceremony for someone who actually wants it :)

I think inviting the partners to the evening do is perfectly reasonable :) if you don't really know the partners the ceremony part isn't really significant to them and also your bm's will be busy then :P

I've got a similar situation except the friend of mine is not a bridesmaid. I've met her new fella once and they seem a bit up and down in the relationship anyway. So I gave her a day invite and him a separate night invite. He never bothered to RSVP and I asked my friend and she said he 'might' be coming. So glad I didnt give him a day invite tho as its a lot of money per head to spend on people you dont know xx

My point of view would be if I was your bm and I had been going out with someone for a year to me that is pretty serious relationship. I would want my man sat next to me. Enjoying the day. If you really can't push to a few more people then say something. I know it is your day and you invite who you like. We are having a small wedding. Maybe 60 in the evening. And some people we have invited that my Mr knows and I don't. Its all about having people there to help you celebrate.
Just my opinion. Pls don't offence.

Well if they are sat with you then. Maybe mention that they come to evening then or later on in afternoon. Its not like they will be with them then. X

if this was just a guest at your wedding then maybe i'd see your point, but because they are your bm and your best friends, i couldn't tell them not to invite their boyfriends. i've only met my moh's bf 4/5 times but it's my best friend's partner and i wouldn't dream of not inviting him. if i had been invited to my best friend's wedding, as a bm and told i couldn't bring my bf because she didn't think i'd been going out long enough for it to be serious, i'd be raging. sorry if that's not what you want to hear, but it's my opinion

plus, if they aren't going out by then, then you've nothing to worry about. they won't be there

i know you didn't actually SAY those words, but that's how i'd feel if i was in your bm shoes

If it was me as the bm I wouldn't have a problem with my fella not being invited to the day do. In some ways almost relieved as I wouldn't need to worry whether he was ok and just get on with enjoying the day. I think he would also prefer that as unless you are pretty close to the wedding party the day do can be a but dull trying to make conversation with strangers. Provided they get an invite to the evening do I think what you are suggesting is fine x

I don't understand what these boyfriends are supposed to do during the preperation evening / morning / ceremony / day, they wont be sitting with their partners and wont know anyone else there, why would they want to come anyway?! Nightime, bit less daft in my opinion, but still, you don't know them, the BMs know everyone there, if it were me I would probably ask, but I definitely wouldn't expect it or push for it. I've said it before, but I really don't understand the obsession with having to include partners that you don't know, I'm a big believer in people being individuals, not part of a multipack! I've known my MOH since we were 7, and she's been with her partner for 10 years, we all get on very well and there would never be any question of not inviting him. My other BM is currently single, and I think even if she did get into a serious relationship now, I wouldn't be giving her a +1 for the day, maybe for the night, when we're a lot less restricted on numbers and it's cheaper. I probably wouldn't get to meet him much before the day, she'll be busy doing BM stuff for most of the day until the evening anyway, and it's not like she's the shy retiring wallflower type who wont know anyone and just sit it the corner if he's not there!

I guess part of me is just a little bitter... I went to a lot of family weddings painfully single, when the only people I really knew to talk to were my mum and dad, surrounded by couples and feeling like a complete ****, it's the main reason I used to hate weddings so much. I'd have killed for a plus one friend in those situations, we'll extend one to anyone in that situation at ours (although I don't think we'll need to.) But I didn't get one while people who knew everyone there could bring their partners along, even if that was the first time anyone had met them. It irks me.

Lol, sorry, tangent rant! No offence meant to anyone who sees it a different way, my feelings are very much based on my own personal experiences!

Edit: I can't believe it edits out a 2000 rom com starring Jason Biggs and Mena Suvari with Wheatus' "Teenage Dirtbag" on the soundtrack!

I am probably going to ruffle feathers here, but if the bridesmaids are best friends of yours, then I WOULD invite their boyfriends.
If it was any other guest at the wedding, then probably not, but my bridesmaids are more important than any other guest, and as such they would be allowed to bring anyone if they wish to.
They want there boyfriends to see them looking beautiful, and to sit and enjoy a lovely meal with them while they do their bridesmaid duties. Yes they probably do know everyone there, but its not the same as having your boyfriend sat next to you.

If I was invited to a wedding......whether I was a bridesmaid or not, and my partner wasnt....(regardless of how long we have been going out) I wouldnt go. I would take offense and and not go.
If the boyfiend only came on the scene in the last 2 weeks then maybe I wouldnt.....but if they were together when you sent the invites, and deliberatley left his name off the invite.....my reply to that would be a decline.

I think for me, as my girlfriends and I socialise without the men, it's just not an issue, Gina was with her bf for 6 years and I met him once haha, we've known each other since school, so whenever we socialise, we solialise as the girls only really. One of my bm's is family, so her other half is coming, one is single, and then the 2 Ive asked about the boys comng at night, becasue of the relationship we have, it's just not an issue for us. I know I'l just be paying for 2 really bored men to come sit on their own all day, and at the meal, the only people they know will be the BMs who will be at the top table with me.

Our problem lies with having 128 guests, and only having room for 120 for the ceremony, so I'm having to be pretty ruthless, which is why I asked if they minded on my mission to cut the guest list down abit for the day, and they both said they'd prefer that anyway, thank god lol.

one of my bm's has just started seeing a fella and i have said he can come to the eve but not the day xx

I'd say you don't have to allow the plus ones hun. I had a similar thread a while back, I'll bump it for you as you may find the opinions and advice useful.
xx

we have let attendants and close friends bring boyfs even if we havent met them as we know how important it is to them. Its down to you tho. We werent 100% happy doing this because it is dear but we knew they had more chance of turning up of fellas can come too

The boyfriends will probably be relieved not to be invited hun, for some men there is nothing worse then sitting through a wedding when they don't really know who it is.
I'm sure your bridesmaids will be ok with it as, in their defence, I would probably assume that I was getting a plus one in that situation, but if it was explained to me that for expense and logistical reasons, I would be understanding.