Ok so I havent been off this year for more than 3 days in a row. Desperately need some time off. We have 5 days off next week to go to H2Bs aunts birthday party in Bournemouth (i live in glasgow so miles away). His family are hard work, especially one aunt who tells me off for touching him in anyway and sits us apart whenever we are out, it makes me soo angry. So I have just been emailed the agenda and they have stuff booked for every single day we are there. We shall have no time to ourselves and its my first holiday this year. I thought it was one party we were going to. No, its 2 partys, theatre, a football match and a barbacue (all in 4 days, then a day there and back) I am really angry about the whole thing. I dont want to go but I havent said that because I dont want to be left at home alone either. I tried to say to him this morning that the schedule was a bit intense and he just started getting defensive and stuff. Then he said he had to go to work and hung up. I've not heard from him now for over an hour and I dont know if its me or him who is wrong. I am now worried that this is going to be what happens whenever a family event happens and I'll just be told what Im doing rather than asked.

I know I am always moaning on here and I am sorry but I really needed to know if I am being nasty because sometimes I dont realise and I dont mean to be nasty.

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I don't think you're being unreasonable at all!

Can you sit him down and explain to him that while you are looking forward to the holiday, as you have both been working so hard, it would be nice if you could have a meal out together ALONE!!!

He shouldn't be able to argue the point as he has the rest of the time to see his family! Good luck hun xx

It's freaking me out that his and my family are meeting for the first time at our wedding (and we've been together for 12 yrs!!!) but only because my mother looks down her nose at everyone! lol families eh, who'd have them? xx

No ur not being unreasonable at all!!

We've been on a few holidays now with the in-laws2b and we always do our own thing then just meet up for lunch/tea etc etc x

The thing is, its not just his holiday is yours too...... so its all well and good him wanting to do things with his family, but he needs to give you some time as well. If he is not willing to discuss it then i would say he is selfish and being unreasonable.... but i would say give it till he isnt at work and explain your point and offer a compromise when you are both more relaxed.
Though tbh the family sending out a "schedule" for your holiday would put my back up anyway!! My goodness, over controlling much!?

I feel your pain! I get the same cr4p but with less organisation. We get constant complaints from MIL that she never see's Kieran / us but it's always us having to either go out or go to theirs. (She has BIL kids at least once a week but can't pop in and see us when she drops them off around the corner. If I leave home and walk about 5 steps left I can see their house!) I just get told what we're doing and I, like you, go along as otherwise I'd just be sitting at home alone!
I get this most weekends though, oh the bliss of 1 week a year

i don't think you're being unreasonable. i remember your last post about this aunt's birthday

i would have cracked up by now

You are not being unreasonable at all, the other family members should understand that you are having a holiday and need time together away from the usual rat race. Hope you get it sorted soon.

I'm going to be devils advocate for a bit here.
You both live the other end of the country and it sounds like he has family down there but not you.
They only have the pair of you for 5 days whereas you live together, you can see each other all the time.
It seems that they have tried to cram as much fun stuff for you all to do into those days as they can. They've sent you the itinerary so you can see how much fun you're going to have. Lots of opportunities for photo's and memories to be made. They miss him.
H2b is maybe a little defensive as secretly he is looking forward to spending some time with his family that he doesn't get to see that much. To him, this will be a fun holiday. He misses them.

A different way to look at it

re Aunt - maybe she'll change when you are married but maybe she won't.

My heart sinks when I find out that our quiet dinner for 4 has turned into an invite every living member of the family in a 50 mile radius event. I'm never consulted on this either. As I said, I feel your pain!

I've decided what to do :-)

I've said I will take part in 2 evenings worth of whatever. We are there for 4 evenings (first night doesnt really count as we wont arrive till after 10pm) I said to him that I will go with him to the 2 things and if he wants to go to the other things without me then he can as long as he spends 1 full day with just me. I think I am being fair :-)

Does that sound fair?

MzEden - I know some of that may be true but its so hard to imagine anyone missing his family hahahaha (just kidding)

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