Wedding Forum - Photos on display on big day advice...

I've not had issues like that.
How close are you to your step mum?

Personally if it was me I'd do what I wanted and step mum would just have to swallow it. She can't change history, your dad married your mum and she can't push your mum out of the picture. She needs to grow up and respect you and your mum.

I'm sorry to say but I can see where your step mum is coming from, I think it would be weird for her to see pictures of her husband and his ex wife on display for everyone to see - even if they have been married for 10 years and have a stable relationship, I'm not sure it would be something I would be comfortable with if I were in her shoes. I have step parents too and I'm not sure I'd even consider putting a pic of my mum and dad's wedding up as it just wouldn't feel 'right'.

I think other non-wedding pictures would be okay - this is something we have talked about doing ourselves and we both come from separated families, so effectively 4 lots of parents to contend with! We were thinking of just showing pictures of us when we were little with our parents and then ones as we grow older, so incorporating step parents as well. And also wider family members.. just general family photographs :) xx

I agree with Flossies second post. I'd think she should be respecting your mum and her memory. Think it's your step mum who is being insensitive to you and other family members related to your mum.

My SIL is a step mum to 3 grown up children of her husband and she totally respects that they have a different mother who is still very much involved in their life. They even have her round for meals etc.

I can see it from both sides. As someone with step parents myself I would find it strange displaying pictures of my mum and dad's wedding, my MIL and FIL's wedding, etc... all of our parents and step parents get on with each other and they all recognise the fact parents cannot be replaced and respect them, but that doesn't mean that they wouldn't still feel weird about seeing old wedding pictures.

Is it your dad who's told you the pics have been causing arguments between them? If so then at least she is keeping the argument behind closed doors and not deliberately trying to be awkward about it or put any stress on you. It sounds like you'd be able to speak to her fairly easily so if it's bothering you that much try speaking to her and see if you can sort it out? xx

Hope it goes okay with your dad.

If you're on good terms with your step mum maybe she needs to just have a chat and for you to tell her that as she will never replace your mum that you want your mum and her memory to be a part of the day just as everyone else in the family and that it's important for her wedding pictures to be up there as an equal with the others. It's not like you're snubbing your step mum or anything.

i think you need to be able to do what you want. the only other compromise i could think of would be have you got a photo of your dad on his own and your mum on her own at their wedding that you could use. That way you have still got the photos from the wedding but your step mum might feel more comfortable if their not stood together on the same photo

x

I would speak to her & explain that your parents were happy together for a short while, your dad is very happy with your step mum now & that your mum was very happy with her new fiance before she died. let her know that you want to show how the happiness has started out & how it has spread to bring more people into your family & in effect made your family much bigger, there are more people to love, how that you want to have a photo of your mum during the only wedding she ever had, that you will be incorporating photos of her & her fiance to show that she very nearly made it again. You will be showing photos of your dad & your step mum. That by doing all three photos (1. mum & dad, 2. mum & fiance, 3. dad & stepmum) you are showing how PROUD you are that they have been able to find new loves, but that you also want to show that those two people created the beautiful bride without taking away from how much you love your step mum & how proud & thankful you are of her & your dad for all that they have done & gone through over the years. you wish to show how the happiness has grown, the love has grown.

I was going to suggest the same as Rachael by having individual photos of your mum and dad from their wedding day if they were available.

Perhaps another alternative would be to have just the photos of your parents with their new partners and on a seperate table have a special photo of your mum to show how important she is to you. This would remove any awkwardness and you could light a candle in her memory and have it next to her photo.

Good luck speaking with your dad this weekend. X

Might not be to everyone's agreement, but honestly, your step mum needs to get over it. It's something that happened in the past, she's going to be included in it as well so not like she is being left out.

I agree with GF x