Wedding Forum - Pagan Hand-fasting

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  1.  
    • heidianne
      CommentAuthorheidianne
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    Has anyone considered having/ or is/ or has had a pagan- fasting?

    It is something I would love to do after my wedding as it isn't legal but I know no-one apart from my H2B would understand.

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  2.  
    • L JO
      CommentAuthorL JO
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    Its not something I would do but I'm sure theres another bride on here thats having it done...I know there was a thread on it a few weeks back it does sound a lovely idea tho x
  3.  
    • Katie
      CommentAuthorKatie
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    I think you normally do it a year before your actual wedding the knot is supposed to stay tied for a year then you get married my H2B and I considered it :-)

    xxx

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  4.  
    • doushka
      CommentAuthordoushka
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    i thought about it and thought it was legal if you got a registrar type person to do it, but i could be sooo wrong.
    its advertised in a few places up here, thats what probably made me think it was.
    h2b wasnt interested and my family would just think it wierd so i dropped that idea before looking into it properly.
  5.  
    • Katie
      CommentAuthorKatie
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    Lol I dont think it is legal I think you have to do the legal part at the registry office.
    xx

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  6.  
    • Puddleduck87
      CommentAuthorPuddleduck87
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    a what what?
  7.  
    • DrunchPunk
      CommentAuthorDrunchPunk
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    Well the laws are different in Scotland than England and Wales. I think in Scotland, an outdoor humanist ceremony is legal, but in England and Wales it isn't, and you have to do the registry office thing as well.

    But I don't know about a hand-fasting..

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  8.  
    • Vx Debz xV
      CommentAuthorVx Debz xV
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    Am I the only one to not understand Hand-fasting? ..
    Though I'm guessing in the eyes of the law, to be married you'd have to have the registry office involved :)
  9.  
    • Puddleduck87
      CommentAuthorPuddleduck87
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    debbie I aint got the foggiest either! lol
  10.  
    • DrunchPunk
      CommentAuthorDrunchPunk
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    Some people follow Christianity, some Islam, and they all have their own particular marriage ceremonies. If you're pagan, you have a handfasting. There'll be plenty on Google!

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  11.  
    • Puddleduck87
      CommentAuthorPuddleduck87
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    awww I just looked at it. It looks lovely.
  12.  
    • Vx Debz xV
      CommentAuthorVx Debz xV
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    Drunch, sorry, didn't mean to offend, am still not used to googling, but found it and it does indeed look lovely .
  13.  
    • DrunchPunk
      CommentAuthorDrunchPunk
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    Teehee :) Offend?! Not at all!

    I was just trying to explain that it's a different sort of ceremony for people who follow paganism :) But I was too lazy to go into details :D

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  14.  
    • Vx Debz xV
      CommentAuthorVx Debz xV
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    LoL fair enough.
  15.  
    • pouchi-loo
      CommentAuthorpouchi-loo
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    okay. looked it up but not for me.
  16.  
    • Vx Debz xV
      CommentAuthorVx Debz xV
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    Not for me either, but each to their own. I was brought up by jewish parents, with Christian grandparents and Muslim friends, ... so I'm going for Civil ceremony :)
  17.  
    • Puddleduck87
      CommentAuthorPuddleduck87
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    Civil ceremony for me too :) But I love the tied hands. so romantic. x
  18.  
    • mrselbie
      CommentAuthormrselbie
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    I looked into this, both H2B and I are pagan, but decided against it due to our families etc. However the hand fasting is done on the day of the wedding ceremony, it is traditional for each guest of the wedding to tie your hands after the minister/registrar has. It's legal in England so long as the registrar agrees to carry it out I believe. I've got a fair few friends that had a handfasting and it looks incredible
  19.  
    • Katkin
      CommentAuthorKatkin
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    Hi, we are having a hand fasting in June 2011. We are having the legally bit 1st and the hand fasting ceremony afterwards. Neither of us are religious so didn't want to get married in a church as that would be hypocritical. We have booked the venue-an old farmhouse with converted outbuildings and threshing barn for the ceremony. Am looking for a purple gothic/pagan style dress. How are your plans coming along?
  20.  
    • Katkin
      CommentAuthorKatkin
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    I'm sure it will raise a few eyebrows with my fiance's family as they are Christian but it is our day so we are going with what we feel comfortable with. The idea of tying our hands together sounds so romantic, I am looking to make my own cords using purple and white ribbons with silver charms attached to the ends of the cord. I am also hoping to have purple lisianthus, white roses and ivy as my wedding flowers.
  21.  
    • elle
      CommentAuthorelle
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    thats sooo lovely, i was thinkin of doing this but my family are jewish and they do not accept that i am pagan so doing this would push them over board i think lol plus i dont think my h2b's family would understand :-(
  22.  
    • ForeverYours
      CommentAuthorForeverYours
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    I was brought up by my grandmother who was pagan and would love to have this as part of my wedding too, i was worried about what the inlaws would say (avid catholics ) but hey its our wedding and if it drops the xmas list slightly wahooo more to spend on the kids lol xx
  23.  
    • heidianne
      CommentAuthorheidianne
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    we have decided on a civil ceremony but I'm having a pagan hand-fasting in a few years time. Kind of a blessing x x

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  24.  
    • Katkin
      CommentAuthorKatkin
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    Does anyone know if you have to have a certain recognised pagan person to hold the ceremony or can it be done by anyone? We were going to ask someone my mum knows of who is a Druid but are now thinking of conducting the ceremony ourselves. Thing is we aren't really sure what to do lol!! Anyone able to give me any advice on a DIY hand fasting?
  25.  
    • heidianne
      CommentAuthorheidianne
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    It has to be a proper priestess or pagan priest. look for a local one online Katkin

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  26.  
    • Katkin
      CommentAuthorKatkin
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    Ooh heck, really?? We were thinking of asking my h2b's best friend's fiancé!! I'm really worried now :-( I thought as it isn't actually a 'traditional/legal' ceremony it didnt matter who we had :-( We have a registrar to do the 'legal' service beforehand.
  27.  
    • NishaVyas88
      CommentAuthorNishaVyas88
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    Handfastings aren't yet legally recognised in the UK, unfortunately. If they were, my h2b and I would save so much money by ditching the registrar, haha! Neither are outdoor weddings unless under some sort of roof (e.g. gazebo).

    I got in contact with my Priestess via LifeRites (Google them or I can send you a link). They're so lovely and they have reps all over the place, I think. Having said that, since its not a legal ceremony, you can have a loved one perform it as long as they're confident to do so.

    If you search on Amazon for Handfasting books, there's lots on the subject and some even give a guideline on how to write them. If you go with a Priestess/Priest, you construct the ceremony with them. We're meeting ours next month to start planning- I'm so excited!
  28.  
    • Katkin
      CommentAuthorKatkin
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    Thanks for explaining things to me Nisha, that has put my mind at ease lol. I thought you could have anyone but was starting to panic! I googled it earlier and it confirmed what you have said. Phew :-) My h2b has written out the ceremony we are thinking of doing (having researched it thoroughly), and it sounds really good. We are hoping to have one of my husband's best friend's to perform the ceremony, and then a friend each to assist with tying the hand fasting chord, passing the goblet etc.
  29.  
    • heidianne
      CommentAuthorheidianne
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    Oh I have to wait for mine

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  30.  
    • NealMorgan
      CommentAuthorNealMorgan
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    My wife and I had a pagan handfasting four hours after our exceedingly short legal service. Our handfasting is still the part of our wedding we cherish the most after 10 years six months and twenty four days. We had our guests arrive at the candle lit de-consecrating chapel at 7.30 sharp to the sounds of Dead Can Dance. At 8.15 we walked in to be joined together in spiritual union by my closest friend who happened to be a white witch. A very emotional service and one so personal. On the downside one of my uncles disapproved and has not spoken to us since.

    If you are to take a handfasting I would strongly advise writing the service with your service leader, using the services of a pagan and many, many a rehearsal.
  31.  
    • McDonnell Images
      CommentAuthorMcDonnell Images
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    I photographed a wedding two years ago where the couple did a brief registry office wedding in Sheffield, the we all went to the local woods for a handfasting and pagan ceremony.
    They were all hells angels, and it was the most fantastic wedding have ever photographed!
    They were "married" by a white witch in a hooded cloak, wafting smoke round and chanting, tiying the hands, jumping over he broom, etc.
    There were people in medieval costumes, and a jousting tournament, hog roast, honey mead and other medieval banqueting.
    Highly recommend it as an alternative wedding.
    If you want to see photos let me know.
    Andy. xxx
  32.  
    • Griff
      CommentAuthorGriff
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    I really wanted a pagan ceremony but my partner is catholic as are the rest of my family and I don't think they'd understand. So my HP has agreed to an eternity ceremony after the wedding, which is a huge deal to both of us and we are so honoured she agreed to perform it! xxx
  33.  
    • GuessWho
      CommentAuthorGuessWho
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    I went to a wedding this weekend in Edinburgh where neither the Groom or the Bride were Pagan. they did the legal bit then did the hand fastening - it was so beautiful - the registrar ties 2 pieces of ribbon around their hands together then they both pull each ribbon together and it makes a know - symbolises 2 becoming one "tying the knot" - they can then keep that. It was so lovely!! x

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    Wedding 18th May 2013 - South of France

  34.  
    • Nuttynonnie
      CommentAuthorNuttynonnie
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    im having a Humanist ceremony which is perfectly legal in Scotland. We arent Pagan but are considering hand fasting as part of our ceremony as it is apparantly an old Scottish custom and sounds very romantic :-) xxx

    we fit together perfectly. . .like a jigsaw puzzle.


  35.  
    • Madwifelou
      CommentAuthorMadwifelou
     
    Handfasting is legal in Scotland (as long as you use a GRO-Scotland approved celebrant - I'm one of 9), and as with all weddings the paperwork has to be done with the Registrar. They don't have to attend - exactly the same as any other religious wedding in Scotland. You can also get married anywhere as long as you have permission from the landowner. Some registrars also offer non-religious handfasting ceremonies.

    If you want to conduct the ceremony yourselves there's nothing to stop you from doing this, as within Paganism most paths recognise that all practitioners are their own priest/priestess. For a legal ceremony you'd have to work this out in conjunction with an appropriate celebrant though - for a non-legal ceremony it's not a problem.
 

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