imo most people do take advantage. i wouldnt complain at paying for my own drinks (whenever i go out i dont expect someone to buy me drinks all night) and i would be more interested in buying the newly weds one! lol xx
CommentAuthorInDreamland
Why does everyone apart from H2B agree with me grrrrrrrrr! Ok well I know his argument for it, I just don't agree with it :(
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
CommentAuthorHayley Elizabeth
A recent wedding i went to had sparkling wine and canapes, then bottles of house wine on the tables (three red, three white) then we had sparkling wine for speeches. THEN... The father of the groom bought everyone their favourite short (waiting on staff came around to take the orders... there was still wine left at the table which we continued to drink and we really didn't need any more and believe me, i can put it away with the best of them!
You could possibly do something like that as a compromise...? xx
CommentAuthorbarbie86
In an ideal world, we would have an open bar; I hate the idea of guests having to pay for drinks.
Sadly, it isn't an ideal world, and though we have a very large budget, we do not have an unlimited budget. So, we have decided to provide 2 welcome drinks of buck's fizz, plus 1/2 bottle wine, and a glass of champagne (or soft drink alternatives) for our day guests, with the bar open should they choose to purchase an alternative/extra drink, and we will then put £2k behind the bar for the evening (and this can only be spent on house wine by the glass, beer, or single spirits and mixers; we are excluding other drinks as cocktails run at up to £15 each, so if people want cocktails, they'll have to pay for them); which should provide around 4 drinks pp (we have 100 guests; drinks are an average of £5 each). Like I said, this is not ideal; but we are spending in excess of £3k on drinks, and cannot afford to spend more, so it will have to do.
You should provide what you can afford. An open bar is dangerous IMO, because you simply have no idea of how much is going to be spent, and so it's very difficult to budget for. If we were having an open bar, we would have to budget £4k to be on the safe side; so I think your H2B needs to sit down and consider if he can afford that kind of cash before deciding to go ahead.
A tab is perfectly reasonable. That way you provide some drinks for guests (I personally think it's rude not to provide any drinks), but you can control the amount, and know where you are. You can also decide what is and is not included.
CommentAuthorInDreamland
Thanks Ruth. All good ideas that should hopefully help me.
I agree in an ideal world I could afford to do it but as we're providing alot of drink, well, all the drink up until after the toast I will have to have a very serious convo with H2B about our budget as I do not want to start married life in debt just because he want's to "return the gesture" to his friends.
Your idea sounds fair and reasonable but I'd want a much lower limit.
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
i have to agree with yourself and the other ladies on here. open bars are often abused and i really wouldn't want to pay for someone to get absolutely sloshed at our wedding. i want people to have a great time, but i don't want to walk in on people passed out sick on bathroom floors or fighting (cringe!!) because of the endless flow of booze!!
I'M MARRIED!!!
I am now Mrs Bananaman!!!!
13/09/2012 in Peyia Town Hall, Cyprus
CommentAuthorKat
Even if we won millions on the lottery between now and our wedding, there would be no open bar. Some of our guests would take advantage for certain. I don't need obnoxious drunk people spoiling our day.
CommentAuthorbrilly
our drinks for toasts and arrival are free but i definately wouldnt have an open bar it would cost a fortune and some people would take advantage of it being free that it would prob work out over £30 per head for free drink which if ur having over 100 guests ur talking £3000 which is an awful lot even if it was £10 per head thats still £1000 xxx
31st August 2013 I became Mrs Carrick
Cant wait to do it all over again in 2018
CommentAuthorclive
Definitely no to an open bar, its too expensive and the guests may go nuts with it. We're having bottles of wine on the tables at the wedding breakfast, anything else has to be paid for by the guests.
CommentAuthorOWB
edited
I suddenly feel like a very tight bride. We're having an alcohol free day do, with the oly drinks served being tea/coffee and homemade lemonade. There will be elder flower fizz for the toast. In the evening we have to pay £150 for the hire of private section of a cocktail bar/club so we're agreed on one drink per guest then it's done.
I've never been to a wedding with an open bar.
If only life could be one long tea break
CommentAuthorJoanna
I agree with Kat, even if i had the money to do an open bar, i wouldn't. People would go mad because it's free and then people will get too drunk. They'll be falling over, causing scenes, probably somone would start a drunken fight. I just wouldn't want that at my wedding! An open bar for 100 guests will easily come to 4k. I don't think anybody would expect an open bar or be unhappy if they had to pay. Why don't you show your h2b this thread? xx
The greatest thing you'll ever learn
is just to love and be loved in return
CommentAuthorbarbie86
I have to say, I don't agree re people going mad. I've been to several open-bar events, including my brother's friend's 21st birthday recently, and no-one went crazy; and I know our guests wouldn't go crazy. If anything, I've found that people are pretty respectful and tone it down, as they're not paying and don't want to look like they're taking the p***.
I think if people are the type to get absolutely off their faces then they will, regardless of whether the alcohol is free or they're paying.
CommentAuthorMel D
We provided reception drinks, three bottles of wine on the table and a toasting drink. We also put £300 behind the bar and then when that was gone people had to pay for their own drinks ... no-one mentioned it at all. I would never expect to have an open bar at a wedding.
Got married Sat 28/05/2011
Renewing vows Sat 29/05/2021
We're planning WELL in advance!!
CommentAuthorInDreamland
Nice to hear people don't expect it.
I've heard a few people who do expect it (my aunt and one of H2B's ushers).
I'm tee total anyway so I'm not fussed about alcohol but everyone else does drink and some do drink an unhealthy amount.
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
CommentAuthorEcoFreak
Haha if you're teetotal then I definitely think anyone expecting an open bar is taking the mickey! Noone would force a vegetarian to have a hog roast as their wedding breakfast ;) Xx
CommentAuthorHayley Elizabeth
I completely agree ecofreak xx
CommentAuthorMrs Davro
I wouldn't have a free bar, I know some of my lot drink like fish.
Just had a mini chat with h2b he thinks the tokens idea is good, maybe stipulate they are only valid for a single and mixer or pint or glass of wine and if they want a double they pay the extra or use both tokens.
We are thinking of maybe having a soft drinks free bar, as we are having lots of kids.
CommentAuthorAntonia9
we are having a limited free bar, we are going to put 2000 behind the bar, and then once its gone, people will buy their own drinks. However i think i will exclude spirits as these can eat in to the fund fairly quickly.
I dont think a free bar is expected at all, and it would be rude of people to assume i think, however if you have money left in your budget then i dont see any harm in it. Your h2b needs to compromise though just as you are willing to. x
Cant wait to become Mrs Purdie x x x x
May 4th 2013 - The day i get to marry my best friend
CommentAuthorsussie
i'm having a cash bar, but if we did have an open bar it would be on a ticket basis, with the amount my family and his family drink the bar bill would be more than the whole wedding cost lol
CommentAuthoremmaaa
Not a chance are we having a free bar. We might give people the first drink, but we're already giving people a welcome drink, a toasting drink and half a bottle of wine for the meal (included in our package.) I'd be utterly disgusted if people made disgruntled noises about having to pay for more drinks, no-one's forcing them to drink more! And aside from anything, I don't see why we should spend £40-£50 more on some people than others purely because they drink more.
CommentAuthorInDreamland
I mentioned the open bar again this evening just in passing with H2B and I think he's showing signs of breaking :)
Fingers crossed he's softening and coming round to the idea of a limit and just putting a bit behind the bar.
I am having hog roast for the evening buffet EcoFreak lol xxx
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
CommentAuthormadhen
I probably wouldn't have one but could you just have open bar for the first half hour or something as a compromise? I really think costs could go bonkers this way, I'd be reluctant....!!
CommentAuthorInDreamland
H2B showed signs of giving up on idea of open bar so hopefully will be happy with the compromise of putting a bit of cash behind it and when it's gone people will have to start paying for their own drinks. I still won't be 100% happy but at least I'll know what the maximum is that we'll be forking out and that we can afford it.
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
CommentAuthormadhen
yup. wise move :)
CommentAuthorInDreamland
I'm slowing grinding the poor guy down until I get my way lol, or at least that compromise :)
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
CommentAuthoremmaaa
Good on you InDreamland!
CommentAuthormrscookiecrew
we're providing the welcome drink which is pimms for the adults as its summer and orange juice for the non drinkers. and the champagne for the adults and non alcoholic sparkling wine again for the people that don't drink for the toasts that's it. and no one is having a bottle on the tables either, we're having the waiters serve it.
don't mean to be so tight its just we went to a wedding beginning of this yr. they didn't have an open bar but they had champagne on the tables. me and h2b went and sat down and got up to go to the toilet and by the time we come back some greedy bugger over the other side of the table had already poured him and his wife and son a few glasses leaving none for the toasts and the rest of the table. our poor friends had for fork out however much it was for another bottle of champagne (and it was the proper expensive stuff too) just for the toasts. honestly don't think people actually realize how much a wedding actually costs these days x
also wold have been nan and grandads anniversary
CommentAuthorHayley Elizabeth
You go lovely! Grind that man down till you get your own way haha! Weddings are so expensive as it is! xx
CommentAuthorHayley Elizabeth
Mrscookie crew, how awful! That's just so selfish of him. I hate it when people take advantage! bet he didn't buy any champers aftrer that!! xx
CommentAuthormrscookiecrew
hayley elizabeth oh no he didnt. in fact he went shortly after the speeches which was downright rude. i asked my friend why she even invited him and she said he was her husbands uncle but she didnt like him as it was. so rude though x
also wold have been nan and grandads anniversary
CommentAuthorAntonia9
some people do just take the P, im sure they think its just an excuse for free food and drink and dont care about the wedding sometimes! rude people! x
Cant wait to become Mrs Purdie x x x x
May 4th 2013 - The day i get to marry my best friend
CommentAuthorInDreamland
OMG Mrscookiecrew - how rude! Can't stand people like that!
People taking liberties like that is why I really don't want that open bar, especially given how much drink we're already providing as part of the package.
xx
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
CommentAuthorHayley Elizabeth
Exactly, if you think about it, you're paying for people to have an amazing day. Free food, couple of drinks. I really don't think people paying for the rest of it themselves is a problem. Also, the people who really want to go to your wedding wont mind one bit xx
CommentAuthorInDreamland
My sentiments exactly xx
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
CommentAuthorHayley Elizabeth
Well best of luck, let us know if you make H2B crack haha! xx
CommentAuthorInDreamland
Will do ;) xx
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
CommentAuthorHa_x3
Have you came to a desicion on this subject hun? xx
Mrs Lunn
08/05/12 was the best day of my life
& I love my husband with all my heart xxxx
CommentAuthorInDreamland
Well H2B has said "I don't think we will end up having an open bar" so almost! ;) xx
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
CommentAuthorEcoFreak
Success! ;) Xx
CommentAuthorInDreamland
Yep - he'd better stick to that thought now lol xx
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
CommentAuthorHa_x3
Haha result :) xx
Mrs Lunn
08/05/12 was the best day of my life
& I love my husband with all my heart xxxx
CommentAuthorInDreamland
Never underestimate the determination of a B2B lol xx
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
CommentAuthorHayley Elizabeth
Excellent news hun xx
CommentAuthorInDreamland
bumping for bobsi xx
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
CommentAuthorInDreamland
bumping for bobsi xx
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
CommentAuthorBobsi
Thanks InDreamland, lovely of you to do that. read the post will not be doing it I don't think. xxx
Got together June 11th 2006
Getting married June 11th 2014
8 years to the day and I'll be Mrs T.
CommentAuthorInDreamland
It is just so expensive and I think people take advantage, especially as we're actually providing so much drink already throughout the day. H2B took some convincing but he's finally seen sense, just hope it lasts until the wedding xx
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
CommentAuthorCatrinaP
were getting married on inchcolm island and going for a meal afterwards with wedding party so just having a night time reception in a hall for everyone with buffett , not having a bar just going to put a few bottles of wine on each table and buy some spirits for the toast and soft drinks for kids if anyone wants any more they can bring it with them x
CommentAuthorroberta90
We are not having an open bar, people do take advantage, I mean if you can afford it then have an open bar but if you can't then don't. If people complain about having to pay for their own drinks then they are not real friends! This day and age people cannot expect you to pay for all of their drinks! :) x
CommentAuthorRoxy
I think an open bar is lovely luxury but unfortunatly we can't afford it. But if we had some budget left at the end I would be more than willing to put it behind the bar. I like the idea of everyone getting a little voucher for wine, beer or soft drink. That's a lovely gesture :)
